Ive been seeing a woman from work on and off for 8 months now...she's married to a horrible man who's alcoholic and beats her on numerous occasions...i only see her when she kicks him out...
She then takes him back after a week or two because he uses theyre youngest daughter as a weapon against her...but then it all happens again.
it kills me to see her with cuts and bruises..she tells me she only takes him back because of the daughter and that she doesnt love him..
please help...wot can i do...i love her
2006-06-22 07:26:06 · 14 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow this is serious...but from my point of view I think this woman does love him in some weird twisted way. I think she feels like he will change. If she really wanted to get out of the relationship she would report the abuse and get a restraining order. If he is an unfit parent she would definately win. But Honestly there is nothing you can do. she is not going to move on until she is completely over him. This is coming from someone who was in a similar situation...Minus the children!!!
I hate to say it but you are simply he morale booster and a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. Alll you can do is show her that there is someone better out there and hopefully she will move on before it is too late...
Good Luck!
2006-06-22 07:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She has to be the one to decide, I am afraid, and that won't be until going is less uncomfortable than staying.
I am a bit puzzled as to how he is using her daughter against her. No court (I hope) would award custody to him. If he is threatening violence against the daughter, you could try the police.
Unfortunately the police will not act on your friend's behalf unless they get a complaint, but they may prosecute even if she won't or decides to drop any prosecution she might undertake.
If the daughter is in danger, then you'd be entitled to gt social services or the NSPCC involved.
If you can, get photographs of the bruises, and the dates, andy try and persuade her to see a GP.
Would she consider going to a refuge?
2006-06-22 14:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by tagette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot do anything to help her. If she is not willing to make a better life for her and her children there isn't anything you can do. This sounds like a bad situation all the way around. What are you doing with a married woman anyways? Do you think her being abused makes it ok for you be with her? It's not.
2006-06-22 14:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't get the law involved, they are impotent and too soft. Go round there and rough that piece of man sh*t up, put the fear of God in to him. Bring some friends if need be, and don't worry about fighting dirty- the f*cker deserves it (make sure daughter is not present).
Public and messy.
Eye for an Eye.
2006-06-22 14:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by DaveyMcB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's using emotional blackmail to get her back and its working why dont you do the same?
Say that you are concerned for her daughter's saftey... what if she sees him/what if he hurts her?
Or you could be cruel to be kind. Ring Social Care and report him as an abusive father and let the social workers give her an altermatum - him or her daughter.
2006-06-22 17:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by Wicked Top. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, nothing is going to change until she is ready to. The best thing you can do for her is to let her know she is not alone, and that there is a better life for her. There are many safe houses in most major cities. Maybe you can convince her to contact one of them. And, remind her, she is not the only one who is getting hurt. She is responsible for protecting this child and providing a better life for her. If she won't get help for herself, then she should at least do it for her daughter.
2006-06-22 14:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by calli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her to go to the police when he beats her next time.
Does she go to Accident & Emergency at Hospital, if so they will have a record of her many injuries.
Convince her not to go back & to take the child out of that environment as soon as possible.
It always amazes me that women who are abused like this return to their abuser continually.
2006-06-22 14:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she isnt doing her daughter any good by letting him come in and out of their lives.tell her when she kicks him out make him stay out and if he wants to see the daughter he has to come pick her up for a visit but not move back in.Sounds like she is just using you for when hes gone.Face it man your a pacifier
2006-06-22 14:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by savage_14u2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go to the police they'll keep him in jail overnight and let him off with a warning. then he'll come back even angrier at the person who called them and at his wife. you should probably beat the crap out of him and possibly ask her to move in with you if she realy needs too. make sure he doesnt know where shes staying
2006-06-22 14:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by unknown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report him to the police. Tell her to not take him back using her daughter...unless he's hurting her too. TELL SOMEONE!!!! Good luck.
2006-06-22 14:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋