What should I do?

Question

I'm so afriad to tell anyone that im bi-curious, all my friends are super religious and homophobic and my family is aganist homosexuality completely. I'm so afriad

Answer 1

There is no requirement to tell. It is something we do so that we can free ourselves of the hiding away of that aspect of our lives.

If you're not seeing a same sex partner, at this time, then it will not be unfair on anyone not to tell your family and friends.

However if/when you do get a same sex partner, please consider how unfair it will be on everyone if you only come out to your family and friends; at the same time that you're introducing your significant other.

See the tightrope we walk?

You say you're curious - that's a great place to be - but I'd nevertheless suggest you determine whether or not you are more than curious, before you broach the subject with your family. No point in upsetting everyone (as you fear they would be) if it isn't going to turn out that you do actually like being with someone of the same sex. Many Bi-curious folk are content only to think about it in fantasy - but the reality doesn't actually meet their needs.

Best Wishes

Answer 2

Make sure you really think you like girls before you tell anyone if everyone you know is that conservative. If you have some friends who are more liberal, start with them and really talk about your emotions and feelings towards other girls. I know the feeling about your family, and I'm sorry I can't help more with that. But, if you only have 2 years left in high school, you're going to get a big shot of freedom soon, and you may want to wait until then to tell people. Until you do have someone to talk to that you know, we're all here for you. E-mail me at [e-mail] if you have any other questions or just want to talk.
~jill~

Answer 3

Don't be afraid. You should be brave in times like these. These are the times when you need to stand up for what you want to do. If your friends wont accept who you are, then to h*ll with them. They are not your true friends then. And if your family wont be able to accept it, it is generally normal.

Time will tell you. But you need to embrace for what you are. Try to see if making out with the same sex makes you feel comfortable. Try different things if your really are bi-curious or bisexual.

And to answer your question, "WHAT SHOULD I DO?"...I suggest to analyze the situation properly. If you are willing to loose your friends, then tell them. You never know, they might accept you. If you're not, then you might as well shut your mouth. Same to your family. Find the perfect timing. As my motto about hiding your feeling to some people goes, "You have a personal life beyond your personal life." Some things are better left untold. In your case, it might be good to tell or might not be.

Answer 4

Honey the hell with what they think about you.I have been with a man forever and Now I have a girlfriend and I'm loving life again at first I was bi but that soon changed men make me sick ugh!!! My father is a minister and my mother is a deaconess but I have to live my life being happy. If your family loves you then they should not have a problem with your sexuality,AND if they do the hell with them.

Remember be happy with who you are you have to have PRIDE.

Answer 5

Honey go for it, it's your life, not your parents, friends, or anyone else's too choose! Go to NYC, or someplace where there is diversity. Tell them, if they love you they will understand, if they don't, they are closed minded people who will only hold you back in life, get rid of them as soon as possible! By the way, why say anything now, try it out, see what happens!

Answer 6

OK, I have this group of friends that are SUPER christian, but they're all really great people and I really care about them. I have another group of friends who is totally liberal and into EVERYTHING crazy, but I still love them just as much as my other group of friends. I know that the crazy group does a lot of stuff that I would NEVER be comfortable doing (ie weird drugs), but we drink and party together, and we're all OK with gay and bi-curious stuff, seeing as one of my friends is a gay guy, and all of the girls tend to make out when we're drinking (or whenever they feel like making out, lol). I know if my Christian group of friends EVER found out about what my other friends and I do, they probably wouldn't want to talk to me ever again (they already give me a hard time for being Catholic). My family, is SUPER conservative as well, I had an uncle who killed himself when I was very young because he was gay and couldn't come out to my family. I honestly think that this whole decision depends on what kind of life you want to lead. Do you want a "wholesome" life where you have the typical 2.5 kids, the husband and the golden retriever? This would be a lot easier and you would never feel as though someone was looking down on you. Or, do you want to experiment and live your life knowing that you tried what you wanted to try (you said that you're bi-curious, which leads for me to assume that you just want to try to do stuff with a girl and haven't actually done anything)? The upside, is that you will know that you tried it and either will figure out that you're lesbian, or bi, or that you just got it out of your system. The downside is that if you figure out that you're a lesbian or bi, then you have to somehow inform your family of your new lifestyle. If you do choose that lifestyle, my suggestion would be to tell your parents, don't leave them in the dark. When my friend came out to his parents, it was really hard for him. His mom kept crying and telling him that she didn't want him to get AIDS, and I think his father didn't talk to him for a little while. But now it's about two years later and he's fine, and his family is fine. Of course he still had two years of living with them, so they sort of had to get over it, but they still love him, that's my point. So this really depends on how serious you are about it. I mean, if you go to a party and make out with a girl, then its not a huge deal, and you won't need to alert the presses, but if you feel that it may be a deciding factor in your sexual orientation, then you must tell your family, let your Christian friends find out on their own time, when they are ready. In the meantime, I suggest finding friends who will support you! Good luck and God Bless!!

Answer 7

i hate to promote any website, but i too was curious, so i chked out the adult friend finder web site.. went to couple meet and greets at a public place. met some nice people and got my wants and needs addressed..the meetings ( i went to 5) were open and friendly. i could stay and also had the chance to c%m with the people of my choice.

Answer 8

you dont really need to come out you know....
just be proud of who you are without your parents knowledge but i do have to admit, it wouldnt be much fun to life left thatway
but another way is to have 2 different sets of friends..... i have my gay-ok friends and not gay-ok friends so it makes it easier for me
keep them seperate though or else thre'll be hell to pay

sorry that i cant offer you better advice. but good luck though

Answer 9

get some new friends. as for your family, tell them (if you decide to do so) after you have moved out and live on your own.

Answer 10

for some reason people feel they have to announce their sexual orientation...if you find no reason to tell them, dont...if it ever comes up that you need to, then do...but frankly it's nobodies business and if someone cannot accept you for who you are and not whos in your bedroom, piss on them!