Ok, my boyfriend cheated on me?

Question

After a LOT of drama, we got back together. Now, I'm not asking you to tell me to dump him, or what you think I should do, or wether or not this was the right choice. I'm asking how to make peace with it in my heart. I love him, he loves me, and things between us are better than they were before he cheated. Sometimes things happen in life that make us do stupid things. I understand that. I'm not going to go into detail about all this, lets just say we were both in the wrong almost equally. What I want to do now is try to move on. Move past the hurt and the sadness and start over again. I know couples that have beenthrough this before, and they are now married with children. It can be done, I would just like to know how I can make peace with it.


Please, no nasty comments. No "He's a jerk! Dump him!" comments please, I'm past that stage. It is time to fix things, not reopen old wounds.

By the way, the cheating happened two years ago.

The cheating itself happened that long ago. I only just recently found out about it.

aww..you guys are giving such good advice...im about to cry here at work :) this is the most supportive advice I've gotten since I found out...and its from peopel I don't even know!! *sniffsniff*

Oooh he didn't tell me about it, I found out. I think he wanted it to just go away and pretend it never happened

Answer 1

get all the bad things off your mind if you really love him your heart will find someway to forgive him, you can make peace with him as well as your inside feelings, have you ever tried just talking to him? about your inside hiddin feelings your effiently going to have to soon, so why not now, its time to bring things out in the open, so just tell him that you need to talk to him without him interrupting, or getting mad you just need to express yourself since your feelings are for him. i think he has a right to know what your thinking about him i mean i would want to know what my bf is thinking about me, i dont want him hiding feelings and stuff from me, just becuz he might think i would get mad or something like that cuz thats not a good relationship if you cant talk about things that bother you, or things that you need to talk about but cant so just give it a try before you hurt yourself inside, it is known to happen, and you will never feel better until you do Good Luck Sweetie, Hope for the best

Answer 2

Okay, speaking from previous experience, I will not call him a jerk or say dump him, BUT... I will say this, things may seem a lot better for a while but I'm telling you the first fight you have you might be inclined to bring up the fact that he cheated on you. This will keep going and going until you really hate each other. So if you find yourself doing this and holding it against him, take another look because it truly is hard to move past something like this. The trust may be gone. Give it a shot but don't try too hard.

Answer 3

Here's an answer from a guy. You just found out about him cheating on you over two years ago, right? Well, if he told you about it, or let you find out about it somehow, he's testing the waters to see how you react. If you stay with him, plan on dealing with it, because now you're a push over and he knows you'll forgive him the next time too.

Good luck. But to be honest with you, there are a lot of nice guys out there. Unfortunately, most women want a challenge, which is what you're going to have if you stay with him.

Answer 4

First, you need to talk to him about how much hurt you. Then, you should tell him that you've forgiven him and tell him how much you love him. Let him know that you understand he made a mistake and your time together should give you (both) a certain relaxed feeling about it. If not pray about it. God can give you the peace you seek. Good luck, hon, and God bless.

Answer 5

one question...what makes you think that he'll never cheat again in future?and lie to you?...make peace with it by forgiving him for his wrongs completely and trusting him...not being naive...but not being too jealous and suspicious all the time, also by thinking of all the positive things and good memories that you both had instead of remembering the bad ones.

Answer 6

wut i think is that u should let his cheating go. i dont normally think that but in this case i guess so cause u want to so bad so there must be somthing drawing u to him. its been 2 years so thats long enough to be over the whole sulking thing. he sound like a nice guy besides the cheating part. but i want u to be careful cause if he hurts u again it will hurt u so bad i dont think u will be able to get over it. but if he loves u like he says he does he shouldnt hurt u again.

Answer 7

Listen, I am not going to just tell you what you want to hear. I have been in the same situation. This won't be the last time he does this to you. Just keep your guard up.

Answer 8

say if you cheat on me this time you loose me forever and the next morning you will not have a penis to ruin any other womens lives also

Answer 9

well all i would say to you its your choice it look like you had made your mind up already before asking the question..just wanna say don't over up for him cos if he loved you he would have never cheated in the first place....so Wat you need to do is be in control at all times.
good luck ..

Answer 10

If you can't make peace with it it won't work. You are selling yourself short.