I am in my fourth nmonth of pregnancy and my husband does not seem to have any sexual desires towards me, I understand this is normal, but it is quite extreme, he will not even lay a finger on me nor kiss me. He even lays out to separate blankets at night for us to sleep with separate blankets. He is not comfortable with me touching him in any way and does not like to hug me anymore. I know he loves me and this is a result of the pregnancy, but it is dificult to cope with. Thank you in advance for any answers.
2006-06-22 07:00:46 · 19 answers · asked by high_on_life 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I forgot to mention, this is our second child. We have already spoken to the doctor about sex, he said it was ok. During my first pregnancy we were very active.
2006-06-22 07:09:45 · update #1
This is very odd behaviour. My wife is currently 3.5 months pregnant and I'm just as attracted to her as I ever was. I kiss her and hug her and we have sex just as frequently as we used to. Perhaps he is worried that he may injure your baby? Try talking to him about it. Find out why he doesn't want to touch you and reassure him that he won't hurt the baby. I'm sure that he's just concerned. I hope it all works out for you!
2006-06-22 07:05:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd recommend counseling for him, and later, for both of you. It is fairly normal for a man to sometimes feel some resentment or sexual disinterest in his pregnant partner. It's not unusual for a man to be turned off by his partner's pregnant body, or to develop a psychological issue with the fact that you are now a mother and should be treated like one. However, such drastic change in behavior and unwillingness to give you normal affection denotes a much more serious problem. Talk to him honestly about how it makes you feel and suggest that he go for counseling if he is unwilling to work it out with just you.
Also, I hate to bring a negative viewpoint into it, but is it possible that something else is causing the change in his mannerisms? Have you drastically changed your appearance recently? If everything is in the clear, it might be possible that he's cheating on you. (I'm so sorry I had to say that.) I noticed the exact same behavior in an ex of mine, though I wasn't pregnant at the time, and it stemmed from him cheating on me. Most likely, this isn't the case for you, but the option should be looked into.
Good luck and blessings!
2006-06-22 14:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must resolve this at such an important time in your lives. If you can't talk just the 2 of you, agree to see a counselor. After childbirth, your hormones will cause you to give 99.9% attention to the baby, and if your husband doesn't understand this (what and why), then it will get much worse. Please resolve this through open communication and a strong effort to pull this off together (this meaning parenting).
2006-06-22 14:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Mir 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be afraid that if he touches you he might hurt you or the baby. I take it this your first child. Maybe you should try talking to him or making the first "move". He may think that something could happen to you or the baby if he touches you. Just talk to him and let him know that he won't hurt you or the baby.
2006-06-22 14:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by startainment 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him know about himself! You are carrying HIS baby! I am sorry I am getting emotional with this but he needs to get over whatever fear he is having and love you because that's why you are having a family right? It's not about looks it's about how the other person makes you feel and pleasing each other!
2006-06-22 14:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Luna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smack him! You need to sit him down and explain how this is affecting your feelings. After all, you are the one carrying the baby. He is being extremely selfish by cutting you off. Given your state of hormonal flux, nothing good can come from that.
2006-06-22 14:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have stated that this was quite normal. I would have to disagree with you. I could understand his reluctancy to have sex because he might think he would hurt the baby. But to not touch you at all, that's NOT normal. I suggest you dragging him to some counseling.
2006-06-22 14:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's afraid he will hurt you. Have you suggested giving him a blankity, blank job? I'm sure this will pass. Having a baby scares alot of men.
2006-06-22 14:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by seaturtle36 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happen to me when my wife was pregnant, we discusses the problem, i was afraid to hurt her and baby.
You both need to talk to your doctor so he can explain to your husband the best way to have sex and not hurt either you or the baby
2006-06-22 14:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by fernyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mabye he is not in love with you any more because you are big or he is an jerk if i was you when i had this baby i wouldn't let him lay a finger on you or the baby
2006-06-22 14:06:02 · answer #10 · answered by chansmi_78 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋