I love them but they dont' respect me, they critisize me constantly about the way I am on things i cant change. They inturpt me to tell me something ive heard multiple times.
How can i make them respect me and like me more without becoming perfect?
2006-06-22 06:10:48 · 18 answers · asked by yicklesnitzel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ignore them, it's simple
2006-06-22 06:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lithobid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Families, we all have issues here. I don't know how old you are, meaning if you are still in school or old enough and have your own place yet. I am not saying be anti-social with them but whatever the hot button is with them you can either avoid it or bring it head on. You may need to sit down together and have a talk about this. Ask them what it is you are doing that gets them so bothered. Be open to what they have to say but let them know they need to be open too, that you are you and explain why you see things the way you do. Its called open dialogue. Both parties must agree to disagree and be willing to respect the other's viewpoints. And about the part of telling you things you've heard a million times, it only gets worse the older they get if its stories of how things were when they grew up and the like. I finally had to tell my folks, I know you don't like the way I do things, but you know what? I am not you and you are not me, we see certain things differently. Speak up. My own mother and me recently at our ages has this conversation. We butt heads big time when we spend more than a week together under the same roof. She told me she didn't always like what I do or say, but she respected the fact I spoke my opinion and supported why I would say what I did. It helps as long as you do so without arguing. Speak up but do so calmly and firmly.
2006-06-22 13:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by midnightdealer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your big chance to practice being patient, a skill that will serve you well in the future:
Each time you are critisized, express thanks for the correction, and then really *do* appear try to fix whatever it is they're on about (the key word here is appear).
Each time you hear that same old sotry about Aunt Shelly that happened in 1956, act (and, I do mean act) as if it's all new, and listen to it.
Look at it this way: from their point of view, you won't take their suggestions, and ignore them when they are telling you something important. Of course, this may not be true, but they think it is.
Basically, the more you can appear to respect them, they more they will respect you. And, in the meantime, you will hve beefed up your acting skills!
2006-06-22 13:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, it takes all kinds to make the world. I am sorry to say , but mostly parents or family members who have not been brought up well themselves, want to perfect that fault and bring up their kids the perfect way...(which they have no clue is what) . So basically it is the confusion in their mind, and love for you which makes them try and perfect your every move. I suggest you scan some library and get books that deal with this problem and place it at home somewhere , where they can see it and read it.. dont ask them to, their ego will not allow that. i have a book in mind ....Mothers Fathers And Children by mr furutan. I am sure it will do the job. Also family consultations will do.
anyways, i suggest you dont get worried and depressed with this, it is regular family behaviour and will decrease when you grow a little elder, or when they see you are showing positive response to them . depends on the scenario really. all the best.
2006-06-22 13:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by really_confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are. You are your own person with your own personality, ideas, and values, and they want you to become something your not in order for you to be what they want you to be. Be yourself, just because you are different doesnt mean you are wrong. They will respect you more in the long run if you stick to what you believe and not conform to what they believe you should. Try to sit down and let them know how you feel in a non accusatory manner, if this doenst work trying writing them a letter stating that you are your own person, and would like them to respect you for it. It is a VERY hard battle but you can do it. Best of Luck to you.
2006-06-22 13:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by Loveable mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to respect youself first! No one, including our families, will respect us until we respect ourselves.
NO, you don't have to be perfect to begin respecting yourself. You simply must have a concept of who you are, where you are going, and what you will acomplish. Once you have those things down, anything that anyone else says is only counsel that can be evaluated and accepted or rejected as appropriate.
Hope this helps, families can be difficult if we allow them!
2006-06-22 13:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by RunningUte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to demand respect...and if they don't comply...(if you are over the age of 18 years old) don't associate with them until they agree to treat you with respect! Move out if you live at home (again if you are of age)
You have a right to your own opinions and choices in your life. You can't make someone like you, all you can do is be yourself.
2006-06-22 13:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by USuck79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever your age is, it is really annoying to have your parents always telling you what to do. parents are always like that... i did also went nuts when they didn't like my music and my blue jeans, etc. but believe me, they do love you... they just don't understand you and your era.
try not to be hard on them. and don't think that you can never change. i was onto drugs before, and i was even jailed twice for vagrancy. but i think i now have changed a lot! nothing is permanent in this world.
if you can, you can try to give in a bit to what they want (as long as it would not change you, totally... coz nobody would like that), and see what you can do to talk to them about yourself. communication and understanding is the key to most of our problems in life.
remember, they are your family... and believe me, they are your best friends. in worst situations, other people (even some friends) would leave you to save their own a.s.s.e.s. ; but your family, expecially your parents would never abandon you. they are just being too protective of you.
if there is going be an "understanding of emotions" that has to be done, i believe it has to come from both you and your parents. and you can do the first move! and i believe that would be proper. don't you think? goodluck!
2006-06-22 13:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear , Its common for family to rub u the wrong way cause for them you are a tiny tot ... and they have even fixed your bowel movements when they went beserk as a kid.
It is difficult for family to deal with you as a decision making adult. Give them time, talk to them about how you feel.
If still nothing happens, just be happy to be around them. Consider your self very lucky. Atleast you have a family, even if it drives you up the wall.
2006-06-22 13:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they love you as is, the respect part they might not see as clearly as you do. do you respect them? do you help at home? do you talk to each other? are you a part of the family unit? Could you improve in some ways? families are families- you gotta' love them.
2006-06-22 13:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah my family do driving me nits to so what do u main they dont respect u i dont any thing about u so yeah will all could sat is try your best to make them like u again and respect u too that all i could say to u so yeah later
2006-06-22 13:20:40 · answer #11 · answered by kenny y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋