Need Honest and fair opinions.....?

Question

I have been dating a man with 2 sons, who attends school full time at night, and works 12 hour shifts, his family does not like light-skinned women...and have voice their opinion on that. I have been helping him with his school work for the summer and he has committed to us buying a house together and being a family. Problem is his family is always taking precedence. Its almost like they are purposefully asking for his help....His divorce is final in august. we had plans last night and he did not bother to let me know...for a man that says he loves me, why would he always put his family (mother and sisters) first....AM I BEING PLAYED....OH I HELPED HIM MAKE THE PRESIDENT'S LIST FOR THE SUMMER SESSION 4.00 AVERAGE

Answer 1

A good friend of mine is going through the same thing with her man right now. I don't think his actions have anything to do with whether or not he loves you. It sounds like he has a very demanding family. If they are used to having him all to themselves, it is possible that they are being "catty" on purpose and trying to come up with reasons to take him away from you. It is normal to love your baby boy, but not to the point where you become selfish and competitive for his time against a woman that he is trying to share his life with.

If he has grown up being a "pleaser", he probably finds it very hard to say no to his mother and sister because he doesn't want to let them down. There is really nothing you can do until he realizes there is a problem and sets them straight. He needs to learn to stand up to them and say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you tonight...my girl and I already have plans...but I would be happy to help you tomorrow." There's nothing wrong with that and his family is not going to love him less for saying so. They're acting like little kids that will keep pushing to see how much they can get away with.

Answer 2

I think that unless he agrees to re-examine his priorities (and actually changes them) that you should end it. If he is putting them before you right now, he will continue to do so after you are married and have a house, etc. This will drive you crazy if you commit to it for life!
I don't think that you are being played because some people are actually like that--they will put their blood relatives first. If that does not work for you then you need to walk away because I doubt that it will ever change.

Answer 3

Oh sweetie, I have been there!!!

No matter how much you love each other - his family can (and probably WILL) make your life a living HELL. Especially since you don't even come first now.

You two have some serious talks coming - remember he can promise you the world, but if his family is not behind the union, it WILL be a rough road!! Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

Well, looks like you answered your own question. A sincere relationship should put their other half second to the kids (who depend on you for their lives). Then family comes into play as long as they are not interfering with your plans and livelihood.

Answer 5

You may not be getting played, but he is showing you that you will always take a back seat in his life. His family will always come before you. You should rethink the situation, and probably move on. You are not as important to him as you should be.

Answer 6

You aint being played but he had better start relizing what he has with you or it sounds like he may have to ask his family for different ways of support.Tell him straight up,i have no problem with you needing to be with your familey,but if we are going to share are life together than i better fit in here somewhere or it aint happening.

Answer 7

I don't necessarily think you're being played. However, I do feel his priorities might be out of wack. I think you need to let him know exactly how you feel. You should come first.

Answer 8

He sounds like a mama's boy, and they are trouble. He will probably never put you first.