Married women, please give my advise.?

Question

my wife is very short tempered, n often uses foul language at me n my family, i try my best to keep my mouth shut, or the make her understand, but then she feels that i'm comparing people instead of situations, n she blames me for all the things that go wrong between us, she's is extremely possessive, n even gets jealuos of my mother, when my mother advises me. now she says that her love for me is fading n turning to hatred, what do i do to make her fall in love with me, apart from appologizing which i'v been doing all the time?

Answer 1

oh man i feel sorry for you. i think she is stressed out about something. do you pay attention to her? take her out, just the two of you, somewhere romantic. do more things together. talk to eachother at night before falling asleep. dont let this go on forever. if you dont talk to her then she will think everything is okay and will continue.
oh gosh. i feel horrible. when i get stressed out and really tired at night, i become really mean. and its not that its directed towards my husband. i just cant deal with doing stuff when im tired. i get really angree about anything. i wish i can stop. im working on it. i told my husband that he needs to tell me to stop when it gets out of control.
i think its hormone too. your wife might be doing this becus of her lady hormones.
the best thing to do is sit down and talk to her about this situation. dont let her continue like this. be supportive of her and tell her you will help her. if she gets upset becus you want to help her, that is just normal rejection. continue to be supportive.

Answer 2

You are being emotionally abused. There is nothing you can do to make her stop or fall in love with you because it isn't about you. You are the scapegoat for everything wrong in her life. (Scapegoat means a person who gets all the blame so that the blamer doesn't have to face herself.) She is very unhappy and she does need counseling by a skilled therapist who can reach her and keep her in therapy...while at the same time, confronting her about her abusive behavior. The problem is most likely from her childhood. She may have been emotionally abused and she is passing it on.

You need to take a stand and tell her that you will not be spoken to in that manner and come up with consequences when she continues to do so. One of the consequences might end up being a separation to the point where you only speak in a therapist's office. You are not doing her any favors by allowing her to be a tyrant. Stop saying you are sorry. You are apologizing for her imagined slights and negative thoughts. If you have children, odds are that they are being emotionally abused, as well, and you had better take steps to protect them. Nothing you say will be right for her ~ so do and say what you know is right for you. She is shredding your self-esteem and you will become as emotionally confused as her. You may need to get help from a therapist in order to stand up to her. Take care of yourself and get your self-esteem back. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You are a good person and a good husband to be thinking about how you can help her, as well as yourself. Hope things work out for you.

Answer 3

as a woman who has been there I would say that marriage counseling is in order she is going thrrough the same thing that I went through its called depression.what the two of you both need to realize is that neither of you are faultless in this its not your fault that shes stressed dont get me wrong but you state that she blames you for yalls problems its always easier to point the finger at the other person but she needs to realize that in doing that theres 4 more pointing back at her. completly omit the compareing her or situations that you go thru to other peoples no two people or situatuions are exactly alike. My best suggestion is to try to get her into counseling so that she can get here feelings out in a more constructive way and at the same time you can find out why she feels the way she does. this person will be a median someone who doesnt know either one of you who can give you both tools to try and have a better relationship.Best of luck to you both for a happy and stress reduced future as husband and wife!!!! hope I was able to help>

Answer 4

Well, first, why the heck are you apologizing?? Have you done something wrong?? I would take a good hard look at myself first, and see and decide what you really want. If you want to make the marriage work, you TWO need counseling. No spouse should treat the other as yours has treated you; although I'm sure she has her side of the situation as well. You can't MAKE her fall in love with you, but you can work on and repair your relationship. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Are you saying she is not in-love with you? If not, then you need to be the bigger person and do what is right. Do you have children? If so, think about what they are seeing. Do you really want them to grow up in a house with a mom yelling all the time? Maybe she would be happier if you two were separated. Is your love strong enough for her that you would let her go for the sake of her happiness and possible children's? It's hard, I know, but it does not sound like she is very willing to compromise

Answer 6

This isn't your fault. Is she depressed? A lot of times, people with depression lash out in anger.

If she is hating you, then maybe it is time for a real long look at your realtionship. Take a break and really think. If you are miserable and your family is miserable, what would be the best thing for you and them?

You should not have to apologize for every little thing that goes wrong in your relationship.

Answer 7

WOW....looks like you 2 definetly need some marraige counseling. I will say though that your wife should be the one you go to the most NOT your mother...that is only making your wife more upset. try to not point the finger at her and ask her to sit with you and have a CALM conversation...She must being going through alot inside to be reacting the way she is on issues.

But really some conseling would be good...maybe at a church or something.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Answer 8

You can let her keep using that crap on you if you want. She's just determined to have her way, and evidently don't respect others in trying to do it. Just got divorced myself, but, it was behind some of what you are dealing with. If you want to be happy with her, she has to put some effort by changing her actions, which only she can do. The outcome will be to give up which is what you need to let her know, and don't use as a threat. In order for you to be happy, she may not be the one for you.

Answer 9

She needs to see a counselor! They will explain ways for her to direct her anger and other ways to deal with things. A marriage counselor would be the best cuz they will tell you both different ways you could change to make each other happy and if you go then she won't feel like she is being singled out and is the only one with a problem

Answer 10

First of all how long have you been married.
When did this started?
What cause this change? you have to answer yourself these questions, maybe something happen along the way that you were blind at the moment and didn't see it happen. Sometimes without noticing we lose something and it's hard to get it back, that way by going back on time and realizing what made this happen can help us decide, Is this what we want .?

Answer 11

I think that you two need a separation or a divorce. Your wife seems very mean and you do not need to expose yourself or your family to that. It seems to me that she is just not in love with you or happy anymore and she is trying to push you away by being mean and telling you such mean things. Do yourself a favor and get out of this situation as soon as you can. Life goes on and you will find someone who is IN LOVE with you and who treats you like you deserve to be treated. Best of luck!