Me and my boyfriend get along like best mates and we laugh and joke, very rarely aregue. We have been together two years and lived together for a year... He is too casual and never wants to do anything together and i have tried to speak to him about it and he says he will make more of an effort...but doesnt. For example of his friends birthday, his girlfriend arranged a night out with his friends and their girlfriend and he didnt want me to go!
Now i really have had enough and im not ugly and i always get always get fit boys liking me.. im wondering why i am spending so much time trying with someone who doesnt really appreciate me. I feel unwanted. Im in love with him, our sex life is fine and we get along as best friends... but because he has never tried to make an effort... i have given up and now he suddnely wants to make it work. I feel like his friend and not his girlfriend.
Should i move on or should i give it another go even though i am not sure i want to?
2006-06-22 03:51:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dont give up on him just yet. like someone else said its not as if he has cheated or anything. If you can, dont even try to change him. You may find that you wont like what he becomes. Extroverts tend to be flirtatious and sometimes cocky. Let him be..continue loving him and having fun together..that is what is important. Overtime he may develop a healthy and acceptable habit of going out and having fun with you.
2006-06-22 04:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by birdy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's one for you - when I was much younger, an older person said to me that you had to have a certain chemistry with the other person. It was either there or it wasn't. If it were there, then everything would sort of fall into place and it would be a good thing for you both, and if it were not there, it never would be and probably never really was in the first place. "What you see is what you get." Love means accepting the other person completely, unconditonally. When we get a situation between two people with all these conditions and circumstances, spontaneous fun and love go out the window. All I can urge you to do is to talk with him and get as clear about all this as you can right now, so you don't have to labor this for a long time into the future. Really talking with him can remove some of the uncertainties you've expressed. Good, long-lasting relationships are based on give and take and - communication. If you want the answer that is the true answer, communicate. Back and forth dialogue with him. If he just sits, it ain't gonna work. Gotta get involved - you both have to get involved in this thing if it's going to be the blast I think you have in mind. Sent to you with good vibes and a prayer for something you can both live with from, Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old)
2006-06-22 04:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if you have been together for about two years and lived together for one year that is saying something that yall really do love each other. If it bothers you so much that he isnt so much of an extrovert like yourself, then you shouldnt have gone out with him the first place. Its your fault for not taking the action, and if he doesnt want to go out then he doesnt. Thats how he is, you can never change someone on how they feel, or act. It takes time for the person to realize that they need a change. Your not his mom and you shouldnt tell him how to act or feel.
If you say that you arent ugly and you get "fit boys" then why are you in this relationship in the first place? You worry to much and you need to be a little bit mellow yourself. How old are you? You sound like you are very young, maybe early 20's or late teens. Grow up, life isnt always about boys.
2006-06-22 03:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter how much you love him, you are at the moment giving him a message that you will put up with his lack of interest by staying there. If there were other girls at that outing he should have brought you along unless he wanted to flirt with them. If it were me I would say to him that you need a break from the situation (tell him why) then go off on a few dates and give him a second chance when he realises what he has lost. Good luck whatever u decide
2006-06-22 03:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sam k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By staying together, you wanted to know if you can manage a marriege and it has proved that living to for life can not be for the two of you so leave him and move on. If you leave that house it will seem to work, but what if you get to the level of marrying what will happen? Dont force things, that guy as shown you that he needs someone to just keep his bed hot every night he comes home and when he is done with you, he will go to the person he invites to go parting.
2006-06-22 04:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by God you are my all in all in Jesus' name 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough question to answer. I think that deep down your guy does love you and does appreciate you as a girlfriend but i see where your frustration is at. I think you should have one final talk with him and maybe a trial period there is nothing wrong with telling him that if you don't see things change in a certain way in two to three weeks that no matter how much you love him you cant continue being with him
2006-06-22 03:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by skits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to your heart. Make sure he knows where you stand. Tell him how you feel. Tell him. Keep the communications open. It is hard at times, one person carries the load 95% to the others 5%, It happens it is a relationship Right. It will go back and forth like this. Just tell him. Be true to yourself though God Bless
2006-06-22 03:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me - Iknow from xperience, no matter how much someone says they'll change, they won't. I've just separated from my husband cause we both have not changed even though, for 9 yrs of being together, we've kept saying we would. You need to move on and get someone who can give you what you need, before you and he stop being friends and you loose eachother all together.
Goodluck
D*
2006-06-22 04:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put up a very convincing argument on your own for moving on. You desire affirmation from other readers here and I believe that based on your story, you will receive it. From me as well. Simply put, you are not well matched and it's best to act on that knowledge now and do a favor for the both of you. There's another woman out there who will probably like his tyle and aloofness. That woman is not you.
2006-06-22 03:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-15 02:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋