I know this guy who is always getting cheated on. He was married and got divorced because she cheated on him, now his current girl is thinking of cheating because he wrok alot. She has cheated on other relationships so I wonder if she is just the type of person who cheats or if he is doing something wrong... I really want to be able to help. If you think he's doing something wrong, how could he fix it? Thanks in advance
2006-06-22 02:53:50 · 17 answers · asked by colorist 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Everyone is born a cheater it's in our genes. We can control it if we want to. It sounds like he has bad taste in women. Then he compounds the problem by ignoring them once the bloom is off the rose.
2006-06-24 09:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
In all my years of being sexually active (over 25) I can honestly say that I have only NOT cheated on one girl. Seriously.
It was NEVER the other person's fault. It was my own hormones being out of control and my having a hard time saying no when opportunities arose.
I have paid the price. The best relationships I have had were ruined. Now I'm single don't have the prospects I had when I was younger. The one girl I didn't cheat on KNEW I was a cheater and although I never gave her a single reason not to trust me, she was always suspicious. I even told her that I was turning over a new leaf for her because I didn't want to break her heart. I wasted all my positive energy on the worng girl.
To answer your question: Some cheaters DO have something in them. However sometimes it can be because of the other person not paying attention to their partner. It goes both ways. But sometimes the victim can't do anything about it.
2006-06-23 23:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by contrafilms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This dude sounds like me. I believe in a person until they lie to me, then I am cautious. It is easy for me to trust others. When my ex cheated on me while I was working up to 70 hours a week for us, it really hurt. She said she did it because she did not like being alone. Now we are divorced and the guy she was with left her. She is alone, and I would have grown old with her. I just found out that my last girl friend was lying to me for over two years. Good thing we did not get married. I seam to attract the girls that enjoy telling lies and getting away with it. I do not meet them at bars either. A good friend like you would be valuable for checking out these girls before any relationship starts.
The answer is both. If a person is in a family that lies to each other, then they were born into that condition. Others are influenced to cheat as a game and do not care about others feelings.
I would value your friendship if you sat down and was sincere in discussing this with me. He should be open to your input. I do not think he is doing wrong in as much as he is focused on takers and not givers. Most of the beautiful women I meet are takers. Your help could help him fix this.
Hope this helps.
2006-06-23 17:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by JamesB@CL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anyone cheats, it's because they have a lack of respect for their partner/selves. Nothing else. If you want to be with someone else, tell your partner the truth and get out and do what you need to do. Cheaters are weak people too scared to trust themselves or their lovers and should never be trusted nor given a second chance. There is NO problem that can not be solved with communication between healthy, independent souls.
2006-06-22 10:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by copromethias 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ill tell u this , i am a cheater , ive cheated a few times on my husband , its a lonliness issue because i have depression which runs in my family and i wasnt raised in my family but we are all cheaters , the times that i cheated were times when my husband and i could not get along , i felt the pain of fighting between us made me look toward other men to feel better . i say that cheating is in ur blood as well as events in ur life that turn u into a cheater
2006-06-22 10:10:08 · answer #5 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to evaluate himself, and see why he is attracted to the types of women that cheat. Self evaluation is where to begin, always. Not all women cheat, nor do men either. It's just easier to get a man to cheat cause he's biologically built to mate. That does not excuse it at all though. Maybe he is marrying too fast, or having sex with these women too fast, and gets trapped by the lust vs the love.
2006-06-22 10:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by jondulea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his problem could be one of two, either he does not invest as much time in a relationship as he should, leaving the women he is with feeling they need to be needed, and that even though they love him, they need something more.. He should try to spend more quality time with his companion, if he wants to save his relationship. Second, he might fall in love too easily, which means the women never get a challenge.. they don't have a chance to work for what they really want, therefore take him for granted.. hope it helps
2006-06-22 10:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by verito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay... first... there is evidence that if you come from a family where there is cheating... you are more likely to cheat. (one of the 7 things to look for)
However... I think since gals are cheating on him... the following explanations are more likely:
- He selects women who are likely to stray
- He treats them poorly, after a while, and that makes them more likely to stray
- He has bad luck.
If he is causing it... he's got to come up with the behavior or behaviors that cause this problem... and understand and own them. I think it's probably... as a guess... a selection process problem.
2006-06-22 09:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who learned to tell time when he was around 4 years old.
he learned to be out of my house before my dad came home and patted him down to get back things he was stealing from us..
and he cheated and stole stuff until he ended up in prison most of his life so far
So I think some are born that way!
good luck
2006-06-23 16:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all about choices. He's probably subconsciously making poor choices when he selects his partners. Then he's making poor choices in how he's conducting his relationship (i.e. working too much and not giving enough attention to the girlfriend.) Again, if he's just choosing someone who's too needy, it's not going to mesh with his busy work schedule. He should try choosing women who are more independent and have a busy life of their own.
2006-06-22 09:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That type of person is always in need of that "high" of first falling in love. Untill they seek help they will never change. Women are taught that "Fairy Tale" of Happy ever after. They are always trying to find it. IT IS A LIE.
2006-06-22 10:01:14 · answer #11 · answered by the_saint1963 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋