2006-06-22 00:20:58 · 19 answers · asked by tamem300 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pass the peas, I want a divorce.
It is hard to answer, it depends on several other variables for her and your reasons.
Good luck
2006-06-22 00:22:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
what ever happened to working out problems? Why not "honey, we're having issues and I think we should get some counseling to fix them because WE can't live like this anymore." The divorce rate is so high because people have become complacent in holding together their relationships. There was once something about her that you loved. You once wanted to be with her forever- wasn't THAT a better feeling than wanting to be away from her? Why not work to get THAT BACK instead of not work and have two miserable people who will always wonder "what if?" I'm all for divorce if problems can't be worked out, but all other options should be exhausted first.
2006-06-22 07:26:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly, there is no way of sugar coating the news, but yuo can be polite about it.
Set a private meeting in between the both of you. No kids, no friends, no family to watch this.
In a very calm tone of voice, be considerate but firm, say " Honey, we have been through a lot together and we are not making each other happy, I am not happy and I suspect that you are not being happy either. There is no point in dragging this feeling anymore. I deeply care for you, but I believe that is best to end our relationship. I want a divorce. I don't want to live like this no more, we are hurting each others feelings and life is to short to be miserable. I want to be as civil and fair as possible. I will treat you with courtesy and respect until the end"
Good luck
2006-06-22 09:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've actually done this, so: Tell her calmly and gently. Explain that, "As much as I care about you, and as hard as we try, we just can't get along. I want for us to get a divorce."
Then do the whole thing with dignity. Work out the details, make sure she's going to be comfortable financially (even if it's a sacrifice for you). Ask her if there is anything you can do to make it easier for her. And be patient - it may seem to you like it's taking forever for her to process her feelings and sign the papers, but for her it's going to feel like it's moving at a million miles an hour. And be ready - even if it's for the best, both of you are going to be very angry (the anger is healthy - it helps you move on!) So you may find yourselves behaving like spoiled kids, or yelling, or being vindictive. She in particular will be angry, so just sort of give her a free pass for a month or two. I put up with my ex's passive aggressive comments and anger for a month before I moved out, because I understood it.
Divorce isn't always a bad thing - sometimes it's just a way of correcting a mistake. Marriage shouldn't feel like a life sentence!
AND A P.S. - I know the folks who are posting "work it out" messages mean well, but what if the questioner has tried every avenue for saving his marriage, and it's unsalvageable? In that case, it's better to divorce. Divorce is about the worst thing that can happen to you...it's not "bailing out", it's a radical change in your life and extraordinarily stressful. So let's not make this poor guy feel like crap because his marriage failed. He probably feels bad enough as it is!
2006-06-22 09:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by mybrilcareer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a book that tells you where you should go on your vacation. It's called your checkbook.
Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more. (Cowper)
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did. (Mark Twain)
You can't expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down on them.
We can't always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Be not simply good; be good for something. (Henry David Thoreau)
2006-06-22 07:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you bailing out? Make it work. It is so easy to just say I give up. What are we teaching our youth these days when the adults say this is too hard so I want out. What ever happend to till Death do us part, I will love you through thick and thin. My answer you don't tell her you want out you tell her you want to work things out. Let me tell you your married because you loved her. People don't just fall out of love, it's a choice, choose to love her and work it out.
2006-06-22 15:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by chickidee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her! Damn, do you know what to do to get a divorce or are we gonna have to tell you that too?
2006-06-22 08:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is just to gentally tell her and tell her why. She may feel the same way that you do about the relationship.
2006-06-22 07:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I want a divorce.
2006-06-22 07:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by cabbiegrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty,respectfully,and in the privacy of a space she is comfortable in. Try to answer her questions as best as you can.
2006-06-22 07:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by Pj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋