am i wrong,?

Question

I had made plans with my girlfriend, to spend the evening with her, I had one errand to run and told her I would be back, my mom called me and I had to go to church with her, my girl texted me and I told her I was not on my way, she kept texting me, to find out if i was still coming, I did not text her back, how can I make this up to her, and before anyone says it, I am the oldest of 4 sisters and the only male figure in the family....I love her, but family is family....

Answer 1

ok, first off, you made plans and told her you were coming back, seems to me that you have been posting things before about this young lady and your family.....they didn't like her because of her skin color right.....well to me, something isn't right, when you told her that you were coming, that meant you had made time for her and were looking forward to spending that time "with her", obviously, with the hours you keep with your job, she values and treasures the moments that you two get to spend together. Your mother calling and telling you to come to church with her, which i believe is bible study....you could have told her you had previous plans....and about her texting you, you were wrong, you will be lucky if she wants to talk with you. Women, trust what their 'man' tells them, and from your previous posts you have praised this woman.....and even said you want to marry her, so why then did you 'CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY" OVER HER.....I think you need to do some serious making up to this woman, if she hasn't already cut your strings......you all but slapped her in the face and said DEAL WITH IT.......

Answer 2

You need to buy her some nice flowers and take it to her and apologize because first of all you made plans with her she probably canceled all her plans to be with you! She was waiting for you and you ditched her that's not nice. Ok that family comes first but you do have some responsibilities towards her too, she is your girlfriend she does need to know what exactly is going on... you made plans and you changed them without her concerns. You owe her.
If you would have just told her that you will not be able to make it because of some family reasons and said sorry that would have been much better. But you just ignored her texts, not a good thing.
Now try to make it up to her by spending more time with her no errands this time or church.... better keep your phone off while your with her.
If you really want to make her smile do something different like with flowers get he some chocolates and some balloons.... because she will smile first thing and all the anger she had within might just go away with that smile. Try it may work.

Answer 3

It's important to honor your commitments. You made a commitment to your girlfriend. You say your mom called and you then "had to go to church with her" which isn't exactly telling the truth. You _chose_ to go to church with your mom. Be honest. If you plan to dump prior plans with your girlfriend any time someone from your family wants your company, then you should let your girlfriend know that, so she'll know what to expect. Most women who have good self-esteem will not choose to stay with someone who repeatedly breaks his commitments to her simply to hang with family. What about inviting her along? What about going out with her after church?

I see that you consider "family is family" and I respect that, and probably most other women would, too. If your mother had broken her leg and you needed to rush to the hospital to see her, your girlfriend would probably be very understanding. If your sister's boyfriend broke up with her, and she needed a shoulder to cry on, I'd bet that your girlfriend would understand that you'd choose to be there for your sister. There are a lot of times when canceling at the last minute is necessary in order to deal with something urgent. Church doesn't sound urgent.

Answer 4

just tell her the truth. tell her what really happened. tell your girl you had an errand to do, and had to attend church with your mom, and family always come first. If she can't accept it nor trust you... well... it's too bad. relationship is all about trust and honesty. aside from telling your girl the truth... woo her more by spending double the evening with her... like a dinner, movie, or whatever you guys enjoy doing.

Answer 5

Thats the problem with us Black people, we tend to cater for all our family needs first, which is ok to some extent, but you need to draw the line. You mother should know that you have your own life and besides you are the one that planned the evening. If i was your galfriend i'd also be really upset. The thing about mothers they tend to cling even when its not necessary, she would have taken your sisters to church with her instead of you.Just explain to her that you have plans and if she insists then take your galfriend with you.

Answer 6

Sounds like you don't like her. Be nice to her and tell her to move on, if she didn't already get your not so subtle message. Oh, and yes, that was wrong. She deserved a call or text message to say you weren't coming due to family obligations.

Answer 7

Well yeah family is priority but you shouldn't have left her hanging around. You should've let her know that you couldn't make it. If you feel that your family is way too important then maybe you don't need a relationship.

Answer 8

your the oldest of four sisters and your a guy right???? sounds like you've had problems from the beginning! you couldnt call her before you went to church??? sounds like you dug your own hole. wrong a strong possibility!

Answer 9

you still should have text her back letting her know what was going on.however by you not testing her back .she might think that you were with some other girl.i hope that you and her stay together and make up.good luck.

Answer 10

next time dont make promises you cannot keep.how would you feel if this happen to you?cant blame your girlfriend for being persistent just because she wants to be with you.i think you owe her an apology.