A guy sorta forced me into sex. Now I feel ashamed and horrible about myself. Help.?

Question

I was hanging out with him and we started making out. It evolved into more and I told him I dont want to have sex. He kept pressuring me and pressuring me and I felt I had no way out. Then he all of a sudden slipped it in. I feel horrible and wish I would have done more to stop it but I didnt.

Answer 1

Girl, It happens all the time. You might not know it but even married women have thesame feelings sometime. I guess it's the feeling of being used. I know it's very hard not knowing what to do, it goes with being young.

I have been in that situation and it took me 7 years to get over it. After that situation I acted slutty because I thought I was a slut anyway, so why not just act that way. Then I went in to this stage where I had sex with lot's of guys just to keep convincing myself that I am on top of them! That I have the right to use them too. But nobody has the right to use or abuse anybody.

Till then even though I had a family of my own, I still thought about it and how much it hurts me. Then I realized, you know what, things that I have done in the past made me who I am right now. But I don't want it to make me a bad person.

I hope that you realize this too. It happens to people everyday. Hang on to yourself. You may feel angry, regrets and shame. Forgive yourself for not stopping when you felt like it, you must understand sometimes we can get confused. But keep thinking, you are a special person, and "ish" does happen time to time, to a lot of people. Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Don't let "ish" get you down hun. Pray to the Lord for strenght and guidance. Take charge of yourself, your life, ok.

If you have anymore problems, just email me. you take care.

Answer 2

I've been kind of used and fooled in many ways by many people. I've felt betrayed, used, dumb, ashmed, etc. I once had a girl try and force me to have sex with her (a eal physical beauty too - ugly person though). Trouble is sex is all mixed up with every part of our being and it can really turn you inside out. It depends on how long ago this happened, if you can take any action aghainst him, other than staying totally away. Losts of guys are, at least at some times, just out for a place to put "it." If you don't let yourselfe get into a spot where some guy starts mauling you and you don't want him to, that won't happen again. It could bother you for a good long time, but accept that, because you got conned. If you look out for yourself, unltimately you will be and feel stronger and gain the respect of those who matter. With a little luck, if you want to be really close to someone right, it will just happen naturally, as much or as little as you want.
I knew a couple who acted deeply in love in HS and it was clear they were having sex a lot. She really card for him, but all he did was make nasty remarks about all he'd gotton her to do. It was very difficult for me not to tell her what I was seeing, but it would have beeen turned against me, as I was one of their HS teachers. KIds used to say, "Teachers and parents say don't drink, gget high, have sex, etc. What do they know? they never tried it?" Well, guess what -- To some extent or another, pretty much all have, because they are human too. And they've seen what is harmful and watched others get hurt and sick and evewn die out of carelessness. It's a hard way to learn, but it's they humans seem to be made.
Just try and pick yourself up and start from now, living the way you wan and think you should. That's a lot more to be proud of than to not having ever messed up or been messed with and always doing the right ting because you're told to or afraid not to.
Learning from what happens and growing is what should really make anyone proud. Too few do it.
A mement of weakness doesn't make you a bad person. but it can make you a great deal stronger later. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

Yeah i see it as rape too,there is no point in telling u not to feel ashamed or horrible about yourself becuz in the end u will feel it,u need to find some way to try and get over it,that in it self is very hard to do.Try and avoid being around him if u can cuz if he took it once chances are he'll do again...........and there is nothing to stop him becuz we all no know Rape is a hard crime to come forward to police becuz of the embrassment,society makes us feel we r the ones at fault.As hard as this is to say and do try not to dwell on it it will drive u insane just be thankful ur not legally married to him.

Answer 4

Sorry to say but if you did say no and he cont. you were raped..rape doesn't always mean hitting, yelling, and all the physical abuse. It's a bad feeling and don't feel ashamed because you weren't the one wanting it..he should feel ashame for taken advantage of you..If you feel really horrible you should talk to an adult..it's up to you to talk to the guy but of course he's not going to be like your right i did rape you. Don't be so nice next time or think that your hurting someones feelings for saying no..if you don't want something stick thru with it till your out of any situation.

Answer 5

Okay. Beating yourself up isn't going to change anything. So work really hard to stop.

There's nothing you can do to change it, but, you need to talk to someone "SAFE" about it face to face. A counselor or a really close friend.

Their thinking will be clearer than yours right now. You're too much in quilt and you don't need to be. This jerk should be.

Take "YOU" out of the picture for a minute. Think about if your best girlfriend, your younger sister or your daughter came to you with what happened to you. Would you consider her to have been raped? What would you suggest for her to do?

Whatever your answer, consider doing it.

Hang in there.

Answer 6

No means no...If he did it anyway he raped you...Peer pressure is not an excuse...Rape is Rape. Get therapy or counseling, and involve your parents...you may just be surprised how they react.

Answer 7

dun wori unless ur pregnant. its nothin to be ashamed of. wats done is done. try to talk to him abt how u fl. hav a peace of mind.

Answer 8

its called date rape....when a woman says no, it's no....please go talk with a therapist (preferably a female therapist) at a women's clinic in your area....they will be able to help you TALK it out...they have experience in this field....good luck and god bless

Answer 9

That is called rape!! If you said no, and he did it anyway, it is rape, and you need to talk to someone right away!!! I am sorry this happened to you! This is NOT your fault. Please, please dont blame yourself, you have nothing tp be ashamed of. Please seek help immediately!