Im sad, hurt, depressed, & feeling pain in my stomach because of my failing marriage. I dont know what to do?

Question

Recently theres been alot of arguments with the wife, and I cant convince her to move back after 3 months seperated. People tell me all the time that I can move on with my life without her, but I love her so much that I couldnt stop thinking about her in the past 3 months. Ive been terrible at showing my feelings, because I used to either neglect her or hurt her, & she says that I have to now suffer the consequences of my actions. Ive apologized to her & promised not to do it again, but she doesnt believe me because its not the first time I do it.

I speak to her dad, and he tells me that he knows that she still loves me. Its killing me because I want to make her happy in my arms, & shes missing out. Shes afraid that I will hurt her again, but Im sure Im never going to do it again because I am commited to make her happy.

So lately I feel so depressed, hate to go out with friends, & my stomach hurts everytime I think about her. I really dont know what to do.. please help..

Answer 1

Move on and get over it. About your stomach hurting, you probably just need to take a dump

Answer 2

i don't blame her for the way she is action... there is so much a woman can take! Sorry to say seems like on your own now! If probably this was your first time to do this she might have given you a chance and which she did in the past but this is not your first time you promised her before and you broke those promised you hurt her and now you think you deserve her in your life?
She loves you and a part of her will always love you but she had enough.... seems like you kept pushing her to her limits and now she has put her foot down and she is staying away from you!!
She is right now you will have to face the consequence of what you did to her in the past!
I am sorry that i am not of a big help i am not helping you out but just read what you have written yourself and think for a moment that she went thru all this and how she is feeling.... imagine yourself being treated like that..... and than come to a conclusion!!
you were committed to make her happy from the moment you married her... but you did not rather than giving her happiness you instead gave her pain! You broke her trust and once that's gone its difficult to have a relationship.... so its better to let it go... maybe in the future if you ever get another woman in your life do treat her right that you do not end up like this again!

Answer 3

I am really sorry that someone you consider a friend hurt you. If they deliberately did so, you have every right to be upset. It might be wise, however, to revisit the issue and consider other explanations. I think that some people look for reasons to feel hurt. In America its called having a chip on your shoulder. if you do, even innocent things will be interpreted as mean and hateful. You have to come to a point in your life where you realze that not everyone is out to get you and that there are not hidden agendas to all freindships. There are people out there who love you for who you are and not what you can give them. Take the love as it is given to you, be forgiving of their faults as you would like to be forgiven for your own, and experience the range of emotions that a true freindship will elicit. If you spend your life looking for a "perfect" friend, you will never be happy. Take some time to work on those friendships that are important to you and let the ones that you dont care about go. Just look hard at yourself and be willing to change as much as you expect others to. True friendships are give and take.

Answer 4

Hello,
You need to go to counseling and ask your wife is she is open to going to a marriage counselor with you and trying to work on this marriage with you. If she is not willing then you will have to let her go as you cannot make someone love you or want to be with you. I understand you love her but sometimes when you love some one the best way to show them that you love them is by letting them go. You will suffer the consequences for how you treated and hurt her and that will hurt. But forgive yourself and ask her to forgive you and tell here that you are truley sorry. Give her time and space and get the help you need from counseling and therapy and maybe who knows she may come back to you someday . Dont pressure her and push her and give her the space and time she needs to heal and get help too. If you need to talk my wife and i are here as well. We will be praying for you and this situation as well. Buy the book the Power of a Praying husband and see if that helps you any. They sell it at walmart and local book stores and is written by Stormie Ormartin. Also go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and ask them for help and prayer too! You also may want to think about starting to attend church and getting help that way too! Also let her know how much you love and miss her and that you are thinking of her but that you will give her the space and time that she needs because you realize how much you have hurt her and that when she is ready you will still be there loving and waiting for her. You may also want to send her some flowers or a special gift as well. Right now the best gift you can give her however is time and space to heal!

Answer 5

Buy her flowers and send them to her with a letter of how you truly feel. Give her time to mend the wounds.
In the meantime, you might want to first, see a doctor about your stomach pains. You might have ulcers from worrying too much and will want to get that taken care of before it gets too bad.
Try to be patient. Since this is not the first time this has happened she will need some time to think about the situation at hand. Don't be pushy.
Maybe try to get involved in an activity outside the home to get your mind off your stress. If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it is ment to be.

Answer 6

I doubt I can be of much help, but you said that you did whatever you did to her several times. No wonder she's leaving. Like people already said here, give her some space and time. Maybe she'll come back to you, maybe she won't. Hopefully you've learnt something about yourself through this ordeal, regardless whether it works out or not.
The feeling of lovesickness and depression will go away eventually.

Answer 7

1, Join some men's rights groups on yahoo.
2, Learn from Solomon when he said: 'it is better to live on the corner of a rooftop than with a contentions wife.'
3, if she hits [mine does] then get a lock on a door and get behind it. And she gets *no* loving till she's nice. Now women don't miss the sex, but they do miss the love and emotional comfort we provide. Well she doesn't get that untill she's nice.
4, it sounds like it's *entirely* her who's in the wrong.

Answer 8

Hey guy, we all have had bad times in our marriages, I agree to just give her space. First off though, you must take care of yourself physically and mentally. If you are depressed seek help. I had a brother in law who was seperated from his wife for three months, he cried out that he was depressed and I feel guilty I guess none of us really listened and a month later he took his own life and left 4 children without a father. So please take care of yourself, just give her space and time, try to show her you've changed. I will be praying for you!!

Answer 9

Your stomach hurts b/c you are becoming love sick! Listen I know you want to be with the wife but if she decided to come back you'll be too sick to enjoy her!
You must remain strong no matter how bad you are hurting I suggest you keep trying if it means that much to you but don't kill your self over it!
Don't keep hurting yourself more and more eventually you have to let it go if it's not working for you!

Answer 10

Try to give her some space. Do not pressurize her into coming back let her feel that she is the most important person in your life by giving her space. Women seem to change when they can see that the man can stand on his own two feet. i promise if she sees this then she will come back

Answer 11

There is nothing for you to do. . . you are paying the price for your wrong doings and there is nothing that you can now do to change what happens.. It seems like you had a good woman by your side and you did not know how to keep her., so take it like a man, and simply let her go.... Make sure that you do not repeat your same mistakes with your next relationship and learn from your mistake.. I do not blame her, she took your crap for too long and finally she said ENOUGH....