I feel like im not good enough for noone anymore?

Question

Ive gained alot of weight sense I married .. now my marriage feels like its coming to an end ..the husband says i need to lose weight.. he has been really mean about it and now our child tells me im fat and not to eat when i do .. I want to lose the weight and leave him aswell but im scared I wont find neone else ..Im 5 5 190 pounds .. things have gotten pretty bad for me now I wanna lose the weight but im doing it for me i would like to make my marriage work but its hard for me to even have sex with him comfortably now and im not sure i can ever be myself around him again after some of the crewl things he's said and done .. he doesnt like the fact that i wont have sex during day or that i wont let him see my body .. I dunno where to go from here im so confused ? what would you do as a women and for all the men out there what do I need to do to get past all this and make our sex life normal again?

Answer 1

first of all he needs to "GET IT" he needs to get how he is hurting you and changing you, and you and only you can do that! so you need to sit down and and tells him everything dont even leave a fly out just get it all off and if he dont care then hes not worth it any more. you sound perfeclly normal and im sure you are very beautiful , you should never give up on your self no matter what because there are people that loves you to death and its like giving up on them...you cant controll the way people treat you but you can controll how you react. dont trap your self with the thought that if this relationship is over then your life is over...i think if this over then its time for a make over and a fresh new start...wont that be super my beautiful?!

Answer 2

Hey, start you a diet and stay with it. Gradually take off what you want to look like and when he says mean things tell him well I am dieting and will lose the weight but you are ugly how you gonna fix that. Turn and leave it alone. When you get down to your weight you want dress up, put on some make up on and ask him, "Honey do I look ok?" When he picks his chin up off of the floor and his eyes back in his head and starts towards you tell him that you are going out with the girls and when you get back he had better started packing it is obvious he doesn';t want you and before you come back you will have given out your phone to about 35 available guys.

Answer 3

you need to leave your husbund because he does not really love you if he is saying and treating you this way your child is just interpreting what you rhusbund says so dont be upset by what your child says,once you have left your husbund you start to get an excersise regime into place where maby you can walk every morning and night,and cut down on what you eat and a bit healthier the weight will shed off and in no time your confidence will regain when you can by your self some new nice clothes and then once you accomplish this you will be free to find the one true person you should be with

Answer 4

I think you need to sit down with your husband and tell him that you aren't happy. Set aside 2 hours for this discussion and tell him it's happening and that you want him to take you seriously.

Before you do this, get a notebook.
Things to write down:
1. Current weight
2. Goal weight
3. Goal time (when you want to lose the weight by BE REASONABLE! 6 months to a year AT LEAST)
4. Things you want your husband to do (this can also be things you want him to say, i.e. praise you when you have a good weight loss week, don't eat unhealthy or tempting things in front of you, etc, etc.)
Write EVERYTHING down... trust me, it works.

If your hubby isn't the talking type, you just say everything you need to say to him to make this work for you.

Get a healthy (and reasonable !!) plan in place to help you become a healthier person. Tell your hubby that you have a plan in place and you want his support.

NUMBER ONE THING TO SAY TO HIM!!! :
It is unacceptable for him to make derogatory remarks about you.
This is an extremely difficult time for you, and you need to let him know that he is making you feel horrible.

Marriage is a sacred thing & you BOTH need to work together before you decide to go your seperate ways. Especially considering there is a child involved.

EDIT:
Ignore the first four comments on here, they obviously have not experienced this kind of situation and should not get involved.

Also, do not retaliate to your husband!!!
The best way to win an argument (TRUST ME) is to remain completely calm, DO NOT SWEAR, do not raise your voice, state your arguement & don't bring other factors into the agruement (i.e. blaming it on him, etc.)

P.S. No child should disrespect their parents.
I say your child needs discipline, and fast!
If I spoke to my parents that way, I would get a whack & be grounded for weeks!!!

Answer 5

first of all you are beautiful> ive had 4 kids and my body well isnt so perky anymore and im 23yrs old. depressing but my husband never makes comments because i will totally close walls on him if he does and ive told him this so if i ever say " god i need to lose some weight, he will be very careful how he responds, he says well how do you want to go about this, take walks together, and he tells me stratagies that he's tried. never pressure. i can bet your sex life took a toll. shame on him!!! tell him that he doesnt exactly have the body he had when you first met. give him a dose of his medicine. tell him that because of his comments that you are mentally hurt and if he wants more of you then he better show more respect, if he doesn't then, he better get used of the dark. tell him you cant be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable about your body. stupid men they ruin it for themselves!

Answer 6

as you know, weight is a common issue for women. especially after having kids. some women are destined to be thin. you need to remind your husband UNLESS HE LIED TO YOU...THE PERSON HE MARRIED IS STILL ON THE INSIDE!!! and that 'if' he LOVES you he would ENCOURAGE you. not INSULT you!!
ultimately, YOU have to learn to be comfortable with YOU because 'IF" you leave him today.... YOU still will need to live with and look at yourself everyday. don't let HIM or anyone take away YOUR dignity. he is NOT worth that.

for MEDICAL and health reasons your weight should be a concern for you. you should discuss these concerns with your doctor. but ultimately, when you read between the lines of ANY diet
its about how much you eat
compared to how much activity

Answer 7

sweetie you sound like you have a humble loving heart. If that is what is bugging you then do something about it...

Gain Weight...
go on a diet, eat healthy, start a program,go on biggest LOSER

Husband...
NOW- you just need to tell him wat u want to do about your weight and then he will understand
THEN- he will see not only a sexy body, not only a beautiful women but a great relationship and heart u have

child...
he is a kid just like me tell him/her that u are doing the best u can about your weight and then when you lose a bit of weight tell him and your husband and get surprised then they will support you.



If this doesn't work and you want to dump him but keep your child and make him/her feel great then just tell him things aren't working out......


Best of luck

Answer 8

Well first of all you need to cut him off next time he wants it and start telling him he needs to lose weight or tell him his penis is to small show him what it feels like. Keep nagging him about the little thing between his legs. tell him you want something bigger. Use reverse psychology sweetheart....Good luck. Just ignore the a$$hole above me. there is just to much trash in the world don't ya think?

Answer 9

first of all he is pretty shallow but at least he's honest. If he is cruel to you then you don't want to live like that forever anyway .......eventually he will find something else to use against you even if you do lose the weight. Dump his a** and take your kid for a walk ...... don't let him teach your kid that it's ok to treat people badly

Answer 10

my dear woman, this relationship sounds pretty destructive all the way around! Who cares what he thinks,it's what you think about yourself that counts!If you aren't comfortable, do something to make yourself comfortable!If you allow yourself to be victimized by your own child, what is this teaching that child? Find an abuse hotline and talk to a counselor!!!