How do I gain patience as i'm too rude towards my children?

Question

As i love my children too much. But while making them study i lose my patience in explaining things to them which leads to anger and i hit them. I do so and then i repent.please help me in controlling my temper.

Answer 1

i suggest taking up a more extereme religion. pick a really crazy one where your punishment for doing this to your children is chopping off your arms or something. .. if you lose enough limbs even if you still want to hit your kids you cant!!

Answer 2

I think I use up every spare ounce of tolerance and patience on this site. I honestly believe this site should be an open forum, therefore everyone has a right to say their truth here. As an AP, I specifically have more tolerance for adoptees views, opinions and yes even those that I would consider negative and not very constructive (in my opinion). Because I cannot help always thinking when I read something on here from an adoptee, even if it really makes my blood boil, that if that was my child expressing their views even when it is conveyed in a bitter and angry manner - that I would listen no matter what and allow them to have their vent. I agree with Mama Kate, there is a lot of hurt behind some of those angry words. It actually makes me feel sorry for that person rather than angry.

Answer 3

How do I gain patience with my children . I would assume that you not only are rude but hostile to them. Just remember that children learn what they live, if you are not showing them how to be patient or loving to them they will grow up being the same way as you are, because they will think that this is the way they should be, like you. I am not criticizing you because you are asking for help in dealing with your kids. Please learn to have patience for them and above all show them you love them and tell them that you do not mean to be that way to them that you will try harder to be more patient.

Answer 4

It seems you feel like you have to be the expert for them. The question is more important than your answer, and if you always answer for them they will never learn to question. Perhaps it would be better to ask them what they think, and help them to their own answers. Also it might be helpful to meet with their teacher for ideas on how to help your children to study better, or to leave them alone to study for a time, then talk with them. Your anger may be turning them off learning. They are children only once. What helped you to learn? Maybe little rewards would go further. But best make them try to answer their own questions. Maybe make a game of it, timing answers, giving points. Different children learn different ways, so be curious for them to help them find their best way. They need to learn how to learn. To put yourself in their shoes might help. Complex problem. Why your anger?

Answer 5

WOW! Well for one you definatly need to learn to stop before it goes there. Count to whatever then take a deep breath and slowly let it out. If that doesn't help then you need to politly tell your children that mommy needs to step away for a brief momment and cool down. I hope you get this serious problem fixed. Is it the fact that you just don't understand and you get mad at the situation or is it because when you explain it to them its not simple enough and it doesn't make sense to them?
WOW! Try that and if it doesn't help then you need to do some serious soul searching. Go to a quiet, secluded area where there is just you and yourself and search your heart and ask yourself alot of questions.

Answer 6

Seek professional help. Through the church, through a therapist, through anything. Hitting a child is NEVER acceptable. Regardless of what you're doing, spanking them or hitting them for this reason you are worthless as a human being.

Answer 7

hire a tutor for the children. also when you are feeling irate towards you children take a time out and lock yourself in the bathroom. i used to get angry easy so i kept a food diary to see what was setting me off. i found that it was chocolate so now i avoid it and im a lot calmer then i used to be.

Answer 8

Honey take 5....go to a seperate room and look in the mirror and start counting and continue to count until you are calm enough to go be with your children.....my mom screamed at me when she would try to help me with my homework and I'd just freeze...I couldn't think, I'd be more confused than I already was....I caught myself doing it with my daughter....I had to go count and some days...we just wait until her dad gets home and he helps her.....I told my mom about it and she said that maybe just maybe....my children were given to me from God so that I may learn patience....good luck and I'll pray for you.

Answer 9

just think that they are gaining knowledge not for any thing but for knowledge.If you teach them creating interest in studies then they will go for studies them selves and you need to tell them to study. Follow my advice. You must gain.

Answer 10

I found this a long time ago.. and guilt swelled up so hard in my heart I couldn't bear to look at my little boy because I knew I had broken his heart and he forgave me so fast... I cried.

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knel t by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."