I'm jt married 2 months ago.I found that what my husband want for life differ from mine.I persuade myself to be as caring as possible but this always conflict with what i really want.We often had arguements on such things and i don't know what to do.
2006-06-21 19:45:26 · 18 answers · asked by sweety 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but i really love him.
2006-06-21 20:09:57 · update #1
Often a marriage enters this phase soon after marriage. The freedom has gone and roles have changed you are no longer b/f and g/f but higher on the scale of husband and wife. Both may be adjusting to the change. A night together to speak about your expectations and how they have been met/unmet to date gives both an opportunity how they are feeling. There must have been something that led to this marriage, see if you can find it again I am sure it is there but somehwhat lost. Seek counselling either alone or together and decide from there what you really want.
2006-06-21 19:50:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without sounding mean....youve only been married for 2 months now, why didnt you spend the time before you married (when yous were dating) to find out his wants and needs in life. (whether yous had the same goals and dreams... compatibility)
Marriage is serious! Its not "I do" today and "I dont" tomorrow!
Now that its done. You need to go over and reaffirm your needs and wants and your husbands and sit down and have a serious talk with him and inform him of yours.
If you are both serious about your marriage you should be able to work to some kind of a compromise. If not then I guess divorce would be on the cards.
If by chance it turns into divorce you need to spend the time getting to know yourself and fulfilling your needs. Another person cannot do that for you. Only you can please you!! Once your happy with life thats when you will attract someone. Hopefully then you will speak up and tell them what you want upfront to avoid this situation from happening again.
The best thing to do is be honest. That way if you try and it doesnt work out, theres nothing more you can say or do, but you can go to sleep at night with a clear conscious.
Good Luck
2006-06-22 02:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by >>>LADY<<< 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's odd that you only found out now, after 2 months of marriage, that you and your husband's goals differ from each other. That's part of the leading up to a marriage, to make sure that you two will be able to go the distance, discuss any factors that might hinder this and see if you can put up with it. So, it sounds as if you two didn't know each other that well to have married. But it's no one's place to judge. If talking and discussing these desires and goals doesn't help the relationship, then go to counselling. But you know in your heart if you can still be in this kind of relationship. Go from there, no matter if you decide to leave him or stay with him, but do remember to discuss things with him too, he deserves to know. Make an informed decision: leave and find someone with more similarities and understanding, or stay and be prepared to face a lot more hardship and heartache if he continues not to budge on your differing goals. Good luck and sorry that you're in this kind of situation.
2006-06-22 02:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by @~>--T--<~@ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the beginning a relationship can be difficult. This is probably something you should have discussed before marriage, but hey heaven only knows we as humans don't always do what we should. Anyway in marriage you must also learn to compromise if you want to do something sometime and he doesn't maybe you should find a friend to do those things with and encourage him to to the same thing with the things you don't like to do. If we are talking about life changing events that you do not agree on then you may want to re assess your situation. Its never to late to change your life, and sometimes the biggest mistake is not making a change. Good Luck to you. I wish you all the best.
2006-06-22 02:52:40 · answer #4 · answered by chrissylester 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this occur during your courtship with him? I'm sure that during courtship period, both of you must have a mutual understandings with each other and knows characters respectively.
Perhaps, you have not colibarated with your husband before both of you are married. There are advantages of staying together before marriage so that more clearer pictures will be shown and you could make a wise decision if you have found out he isn't your choice (after all his true characters shown before you).
Sorry to say that this husband is made of your own choice and decision so no matter how bad his attitude, character or personality, you need to accept the facts unless you wish to go on your own lifestyle. Outsider can't do much for you but you yourself to think whether your husband still worth for your sacrifice? Good luck.
2006-06-22 03:07:35 · answer #5 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first lesson in being married is to learn how to communicate with eachother. It's hard sometimes when you first get married cause you both have different ideas of how things are gonna work out.
Sit down with him and set up some goals of where the two of you wanna be in the next couple years. Communicate openly, and listen to him like you would like him to listen to you. Try to leave your mind open and come to some comprimises. Then, put them on paper so that the two of you can look at them often.
The fairy dust of the marriage is coming off and it is now time to learn to love eachother in a different type of relationship. It can be glorious if you learn to listen to one another and work as a team.
2006-06-22 06:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by cabbiegrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should have been discussed BEFORE the wedding took place. The marriage will never work if you both have different opinions of what is wanted for each of you from life. Go see a lawyer and end the relationship now, before it escalates to something that you can't handle. Hope this helps.
2006-06-22 02:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what your heart is truly saying! Maybe you need to have a talk with your husband and you might be able to get over your arguments. If your truly not happy with your marriage then get a divorce but think about things seriously and try other things before getting a divorce like counseling! I hope everything works out good for you and good luck!
2006-06-22 03:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love isn't a feeling it's a commitment. You fall in and out of love every day. You need to look down the road,can you see yourself with out him? Can you see him with someone else and do you feel good about him not being with you?
You will know what you need to do. Trust me my husband and I are night and day and we almost never see eye to eye on anything. He picks up were I fall short and I for him and with out each other we wouldn't be the people that we are now.
If you don't talk you will never get anything fixed!!!
Peace to you!
2006-06-22 03:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by top momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are the thi9ngs that should be sorted out before marriage because marriage is a big issue its nott hat easy to just walk away once your married,but it looks like you may have married the wrong man and you shouldnt have to be miserable its not to late to get an anulment,you desearve to be ahppy as he does too,perhaps you need to leave and find the one true love who is your soal mate and this will not make you miserable
2006-06-22 02:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋