I love this woman with all of my heart and would do anything for her, but she is married to my Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor and has two children with him. We are currently seeing each other secretly. I just don't know what to do, and I don't know what to do without her. I'm lost and have no way to know what I should do. Any suggestions?
2006-06-21 19:14:14 · 18 answers · asked by anarchist_mutt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the best thing for you to do is end it, move on and find someone who's single - SHE'S MARRIED, AND has kids, AND her husband is trying to help you by sponsoring...your going to ruin their relationship and happiness because you think your in love...thats just horrible
2006-06-21 19:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by ~Jewel~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELL YES ITS A BAD THING. You have a VERY addictive personality...You need to focus on your own problems and quit trying to come in between a family. I won't put all the blame on you though because she is just as guilty as you are. I don't think you're in love with her, but who am I to say? I think you are in love with the chase. You like being sneaky and not getting caught but you know what? You wanna be a MAN? You tell her to tell her husband what happened, if she refuses, YOU DO IT. So you might not like it, but honesty is the only cure. If she wants out of the marriage, and she is going to choose her lust over her kids...she is a piece of $h!t anyways...Plus what makes you think that even if she is with you she isn't going to be screwing around on you too. That is NEVER a good situation. DO SOMETHING about it. Right now you guys are BOTH scum. You have the power to choose who you are.....how would you like it if YOU were the one that was married??? How would you like it if YOU were the children in a broken home?! THINK NEXT TIME OK??? GET HELP. REAL HELP.......NOT SEX.
2006-06-21 20:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by lovingarmywife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a new sponsor immediately! This isn't something you're doing with her. You are doing this to her husband (your sponsor) and her children. You are the cause of her now thinking her married life may not be what she wants. Trust me, you do not want what is coming down the road from this! Sounds like you need to join Wife Stealer's Anonymous.
2006-06-21 19:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Perils of Paulette 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got some nerve.You should never mess with a married women.Isn't your life screwed up enough.With being a drunk now a adulterer.That women has kids maybe you should think about them instead of you twos selfish needs.Your breaking up their home.Her husband is trying to help you and you repay him with having sex with his wife.Listen regardless rather you love her or not you need to leave her alone don't mess up someones home.She is married that means spoken for.You can find someone else perhaps a single woman ya think?Then maybe your life wouldn't be such a Jerry Springer show.I'm sorry if i offended the but i cant give you advice on breaking up a marriage advice on splitting two parents up I'm sorry this world has enough of people like you around.
2006-06-21 19:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by wildblonde_23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that there has been a breach of trust. In AA you are supposed to work your program. You are not in love with anyone until you can overcome your obstacles of alcoholism. You need to chill out and have more respect for your sponsor. It seems to me that you and your sponsor are going down a road of self destruction. Enough said. In AA, you are not supposed to get into a relationship until a year of sobriety. It does not sound good to me.
2006-06-21 19:22:57 · answer #5 · answered by trixi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are too vulnerable at this stage in your life to say that you actually "love" this woman. Although you are rehabilitating from one addiction, you have replaced it with an even stronger addiction. One that is forbidden and apparently fills the void that caused you to drink in the first place. Get to the root of the problem. There is something so much deeper that needs to be cured within you. Alcohol did not cure it and this "affair" won't either. Search deep within yourself to get healing.
2006-06-21 19:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so let me getthis strait u are dating ur AA sponsor's wife who is cheating on ur sponsor dude i understand how u love her and all and thats cute but really do u think that she would leave her husband for you not to be rude this might just be an affair for her and ur long lost love but if she is married u can do nothing about it and have to break it off morally and ethiclly it's wrong but for curousity ask her if she would leave her husband for u and if she says yes then maybe there is love there too but remember u are takeing another man's girl
2006-06-21 19:27:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you're in love? Love involves trust. Well, if she really loved you and wanted to be with you, then she would've told her husband, whom has been kind enough to support you, and gotten a divorce. It also tells you what kind of person she is, if she's cheated with you, who says she won't cheat ON you? Once a cheater, always a cheater...ever heard that? I'm sorry to break it to you but you've got to break it up with her. It's unhealthy for both of you, and what about her kids and her husband? It's not fair on them. You need to end it with her and concentrate on working the programme...which it sounds like you're not really doing but only you can be the judge of that. Make sure you're sober for a LONG time before engaging in a relationship.
2006-06-21 19:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by @~>--T--<~@ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard but I would have to say let her go. You really don't want to come in between her and her family. Besides, if you love her that much, her husband probably does too. Is there really a future between you two? What if she gets with you and cheats on you with someone else. Bad, bad idea. I know... how can it be wrong when it feels so right?
2006-06-21 19:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u gotta ask this question you aint working the program
too bad you cant talk to your sponsor about what is going on with you cause thats what sponsors are for. see how violating trust can get ya in deep trouble. enjoy the guilt until you drink
2006-06-21 19:22:55 · answer #10 · answered by M T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋