Was I wrong to divorce my husband for being addicted to porn?

Question

I spent 11 years of my life with a man addicted to porn. He would constantly rent them on satellite spending enormous amounts of money as well as lying and saying he wasn't the one renting them. But there was only two of us in the house. I repeated told him that I would watch them with him and he said he didn't like to watch them. The last two years of our marriage was sexless. But the porn was still being viewed. My self esteem was shot. Was it wrong for me to walk away?

Answer 1

You know i had a man like that too.I thought he was one of a kind guess not after hearing your story.He done the same thing but on the net .Buy porn mags and hide them in his truck or closet.I would find them and be like wtf?I liked watching porn and i had mags too and he knew i didn't care he watches it and i would love if he did it more with me not him alone how weird.And he would just keep on and eventually our sex life was nil to none.we would fight all the time over this,i would ask him why does he do this his answers were always stupid like ..(here was his fave one)...I DUNNO.....omg please!!I finally had enough i mean this man was beating his meat to a mag instead of having sex with me i just thought that was drawing the line .I told him to have his mags cook for him clean the house and take care of him i was done.And when ever he finally would want sex i told him here's a mag and i swear id throw him a bottle of lotion.hahahaha its funny now cause i dumped his crazy paper loving ***,so don't feel guilty be Glad you did it he wont stop, my ex done this for 2 years promising every time he was busted he would quit..like hell he did so i quit it for him i left and Ive never regretted since.So go on find another man your pretty enough have fun and good luck!!!

Answer 2

No because it was more than just the porn. It was the lying, the financial stress the emotional stress the loveless relationship you were in and the effect it was having on your self esteem. It simply was not a healthy relationship. You offered to share his "passion" to no avail. Sounds however that you are having doubts re the divorce by asking for clarrification. It is normal to grieve after a marriage break up despite how unhappy you were. In reality you sound as though you loved your husband but simply did not like his behaviour. Seek counselling and work on your self esteem issues as although divorced the effect the marriage had upon you still remains. 11 years is a long time so no one can say you didnt try. Life is short you need to be happy, move on and good luck

Answer 3

All guys love to watch pron, and they feel embarrassing to watch with gals. In fact, this is a respect. Just as not swearing when gals are around, only among their buddies.
Watching prons have nothing to do with your attraction. Don't make a wrong comparison.
If you raise quarrels with your man over small matters all the time, in the long run, the relationship will be ruined. He'll associate you with "quarrels", and how can there be intimate relationships at all? A jealous wife is a big turn-off, no matter what the source of jealousy is.
You cannot change anyone, but yourself. By making a shift in your perspective in this subject, I'm sure you can get along with any guy.

I take so much time writing all this for your own good. My intention is pure.

Answer 4

I think it was wrong if it was because of the porn. but ok because of all the other reasons. Sexual addictions are the hardest to get over because sex is a very big thing and feeling and emotion and everything else. It sounds like he needs help. Part of knowing if someone is addicted to something is if they deny it and lie about it all the time especially when you know that its him doing it. He needs help...so maybe you should have helped him get help before making such a rash decision because since you are asking this question now you are obviously kind of regretting your decision or wondering if you should have done something before you divorced him. but if you were emotionally torn apart...no self esteem and you were miserable then by all means you were right and now you should move on and get a great man that only wants to look at your body and fantasize about you!! :)

Answer 5

You know the real story but I think you did the right thing. His adultery, if you will allow the term, was with his imaginary woman. Porn stars aren't really all that atractive to me and I find the thing they call sex to be loveless. If it was something that enhanced your relationship with him, maybe it could have had a place. But he preferred having sex with a movie over making love to you. So how is that different from having an affair with a woman at work or something? There are two sides to every story, at least, but this would be a problem.

I hope you are happier now with life. Don't kick yourself too hard for it all. You made a decision on the best information you had. If you think you made a mistake and want to reconcile, explore that slowly. Don't reconcile out of feelings of guilt.

Answer 6

No you were not wrong to divorce him. He was being unfaithful to you, and commiting adultery which breaks the marriage vows. Most people don't realize that in the Bible adultry is not just the act of sex with someone it can be when you look at someone else other than your spouse in a wanton way. And I can promise you the reason that you were not having sex was because she was jacking o-- while watching his porn and he no longer needed you. And hey don't take this as that there is something worng with you because this is not your fault. He is just sick, and men that are addicted to porn are very weak and they are unable to really please a REAL woman.

Answer 7

Don't allow guilt to overwhelm you and make you feel bad because of his addiction. He was the one with the problem not you. You may have physically walked away, but he made a sound decision to leave the marriage when he allowed porn to create a barrier between the two of you.

Answer 8

2 years sexless you lasted longer than most and why would i guy have to watch porn when he had a beautiful wife like you at home???I hope your self esteem is now back up where it belongs good luck in the future.

Answer 9

I am in no position to tell you if you did the wrong thing. But I offer my 2 cents :

If you feel that you were the only one fighting for your marriage, and if you think that your sanity was at stake, then you have every right to leave him.

I am all for the idea of "forever". I also believe that one should fight blood/sweat/tears to preserve a marriage. However, if a relationship is destroying you (and seems to be hopeless), then you need to save yourself.

Answer 10

I am going through the same thing as you, except it was thirty years of marriage. I never knew, I caught him and it had been going on for over two years. I left my husband and I don't plan to go back. I believe if your spouse does something behind your back that he knows would hurt you, then it is cheating. You did the right thing.