My ex-fiance died on Fathers Day, and even though we split up because of his cheating 10 years ago, I am having a hard time accepting the fact that he is dead.
2006-06-21 18:48:57 · 24 answers · asked by Halo 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have to admit that he was the first guy to break my heart. He was 46 when he died and I am 35 years old.
2006-06-21 19:00:35 · update #1
Everyone grieves in their own way, what works for one may not work for you. It doesn't matter that you two were no longer together, nor does it matter that the relationship ended years ago. He was still a very important part of your life at one time. Fact of the matter is, we never know how someone's death is going to affect us. Sometimes we are surprised that we are having difficulties, such as in your case. I've never been good at dealing with death, having always chosen bad coping mechanisms, however perhaps the links I listed below can start you on your way. I am sorry for your loss.
2006-06-21 18:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by adagia27 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are having a hard time accepting his death because you loved him. Just because you were not together as a couple did not mean that you did not have feelings for him. If he became your fiance, at one time in your life, you loved him like no other. There are no rules that you have to completely hate him now because you broke up, new fiance, ex- this or that, whatever.No matter what we do as people we have to recognize previous and future relationships with people we love. You loved this man, he died, and you may mourn for him. Cheating, unfortunately is a part of our society.
2006-06-21 19:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by trixi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my grandmother passed away a few days ago..there is no way to cope with a loss..there is no way to fill the empty gap...the only thing you can do is except what has happened and carry the memory with you always in the happiest way...im sure its harder to come to terms with the death when there was prolly much tension between the two of you considering the circumstances...but you just have to find a place in your heart to rememeber all the good things that happened and overshadow the gap that makes you feel soo empty..but sometimes you just need to cry..its all about balance..and know im praying for you and am very sorry for your loss
2006-06-21 18:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by haleybug137 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as death. Only physical bodies can die. The soul and spirit of a person crosses over to another plain and they are all quite alright with being there. Do some reading, Sylvia Browne is wonderful and can explain a lot about people crossing over.
I hope you find comfort and peace.
2006-06-21 19:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is really hard. The best way i cope with it is to try and remember everything good about the person and everything they did to make me smile. If you still have a hard time after a couple week you may need to seek help from a therapist. I am sorry for your loss
2006-06-21 18:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by Adam A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seven steps (i think) of grief. Denial is one of the top ones. Time helps, just takes the edge off. I'm so sorry for your loss. Talking about him with other ppl.. about the good things helps.
Lost our 17 yo sun suddenly 4 yrs 2 wks ago and it's still like it was yesterday. Give yourself time, don't forget to breathe, and keep him alive with memories.
2006-06-21 18:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, most women would probably say "thank god" in your situation, you are one of the few non-spiteful women.
death is hard, we are the only species that can contemplate our own mortality, it is something we live with everyday, and when those we know and are close to, only reminds us that there is a clock ticking away the seconds until one day, we too have to give way to a new generation.
there is no way to accept it, other than time.
2006-06-21 18:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by sobrien 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is no magic pill to take to make all the pain go away,and make everything perfect and happy although the world has tried to make one many times, it never really goes away because you never stop loving that person or loving the memory of them, but time does help, time, love, and prayer.
2006-06-21 19:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by Nielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even thought your ex husband is dead you still feel for him because you love him.It is ok to feel like that. When you are feeling down about go do something that you really enjoy or think of a really good memory.
2006-06-21 18:54:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a exbf to suicide last year and i know what u are going threw and i u got to keep ur mind busy and tell ur self that he is in a better place and he is not in pain anymore and you will get to see him very soon and it was his time to go and when it is ur time to go u will be able to see him very happy and not in pain anymore and u can be able to hold him again and u will be ok and please keep urself busy try to do stuff that are very fun and that makes u laugh..........
2006-06-21 18:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋