ladies be honest have u ever been abused by your husband? 4 how long did this abuse last and how often?

Question

I hear many women say they were in abusive marriages. did you see the signs he could turn abusive when you were dating? or was it a surprise, did he turn onto jeckyl and hyde after you married? I dont understand how men can beat their wives, if they r supposed to love them. i know abuse is hate not love, so how can a husband who took vows to love u turn into hating their wife, unless they just married the women because she got pregnant.

how bad was the abuse? verbal, physical, often or just when he drank? did he hurt the kids or attempt to?

Answer 1

My husband and I have been married for a year and have been together for 5 years. The first year was fine...2 months after we started dating I moved to Texas with my parents...9 months later I moved back to where he was and we moved in together I'd say about 6 months later is when it started. He would get really angry because I was complaining too much about his job or that he wouldn't do the dishes when I asked and he would throw chairs...at the time we had those little plastic picnic chairs...and clothes at me or near me. He would yell and scream at me and get right up in my face. I don't remember him ever laying a hand on me during that time though. About a year or two later we ended up breaking up mostly because we needed to be our own people for a while considering I was 17 when we moved in together and he was 20. We were apart for about 2 months then we got back together and I moved in with him and his roommate at the time. About a month or so later we got our own place and soon after that is when the major abuse started. I never chalked it up as abuse though until I was watching some show and realized that my boyfriend was abusing me. When he would get really mad at me he would grab my neck and pin me to the wall or throw me to the couch or the bed or where ever we were. He has only slapped me twice and I've gotten a few bruises on my neck. After I realized it was abuse I started to fight back and when he would grab my neck I would kick at him and push him away...I only did that a couple times because it made him even more angry. We did end up getting married about 6 months after we got back together. A lot of the abuse happened soon after we got married. I only remember actually losing my breath and struggling to breath once...and that was a couple of months ago when we were in a car and arguing about he wanted to change his oil in front of an auto parts store but there was a guy outside that when my husband was in the store kept walking past the car looking at me in a weird way so when my husband came back to the car I told him I wanted to leave and told him the reason and so he got all upset and acted like a total baby and so on the way home I told him that him being my husband should want to protect me and want me to feel safe and whatever and I guess I said something wrong and he reached over and grabbed my neck and didn't let go right away like he normally did. We got home soon after that and I went in and started to pack my things to leave and he came in and threw me on the bed and told me I wasn't leaving so I decided to leave my things and just leave and he just kept stopping me grabbing my wrists and he pushed me and I fell over a foot rest and hit my head. I don't remember why I didn't leave. but since then we have gone to a counselor I think two times...but now he works so much that we argue on the phone. He never did this when he was drinking...we don't drink very much. I don't know how he could do this to me either...he always said it was because I knew what made him mad but I still did it. I have changed because of this...I don't say as much anymore and I pick and choose my words...I can't say I am afraid of him though. I still say what I want when I'm really angry. I know hes more afraid of my step dad than I am afraid of him though. It use to happen at least once a week to twice a month. We don't have kids...we have animals...whenever he kicks the dog I kick him...so see I'm not that afraid of him...I am for a couple weeks after the events happen though but normally I'm not. He is intimidating though because hes a foot and a half taller than me.

Answer 2

I don't know how they can except they are selfish and insecure. Mine was mostly emotional for years being neglected except for sex and put downs. A few times physical(he blames on drinking) other than hitting that hurt emotionally. I didn't recognize the signs while dating but some were there. He would put me down or my family and was very needy telling me he loved me right away.

He also has been what I consider abusive towards the kids with forced tickling when they said stop and relys on them for emotional support. They are very young and this may not be abusive but it hurts them emotionally to see their dad so weak.

Answer 3

My Ex-fiancee abused me for almost 3 years before I finally got out. He never physically hurt my daughter, just me. He abused us both emotionally though, and 18 months later, she still calls him "the MEAN Mike". He wasn't abusive until after we moved in together, and it was a huge surprise. The emotional abuse was daily, and the physical abuse was about once a month.

Answer 4

I grew up in an abusive home. I told my husband that if he ever laid his hand on me in that way, he better hope he kills me. I told him his soul better be right with God because his aZZ was mine.
Hell hath no fury as that of a scorned woman. And thats for real. I have been married to my husband for 10 years. He is my first and hopefully my last. Til this day, he does not disrespect me nor our kids. He has never laid his hand on any of us. My proof, hes still alive.

Answer 5

No I have never been abused. One time my ex got mad at me for something and I don't even remember what it was that pissed him off. But anyway he raised his hand and told me he was going to beat the **** outta me. I told him try it and see what happens. I'll get a gun and shoot him dead before I allow a man to hit me. If he thinks I won't, dare me. My own parents never even hit me or threatened me like that and he lost his damn mind if he thinks he'll get by with it. After that day, he never raised his hand to me or threatened me like that again.

Answer 6

Now I'm afraid to be married coz he might change to be an abusive man after marriage...

But doesn't this take 2 to have someone abuse another?
like cause and effects?

Answer 7

No, if you are in an abusive relationship please seek help...