could someone be like gay and not come out for the rest of their lives?

Question

ok i'm bi, but let's say that i had a partner, or something.. is there any way that someone could be like gay without ever coming out to their family? I know it would be hard, but could it happen? is anyone LGB and hasn't came out to their family?

explain please.. thanks, and i'm not trying to get into peoples personal lives.

thanks for the answers. also, i wouldn't mind coming out to my friends, but my family.. they HATE gays, I'm talking about HATE them. i can always be single tho, lol. maybe i don't need a relationship..

Answer 1

I have 3 older brothers who HATE gay people. They are actually homophobes. They don't know that their youngest brother happens to be gay. It's hard for me to come out. I haven't yet. I am still 16 yrs. old. I planned to come out when I am financially independent. When I can do whatever I want. I wont care if they wont accept me. If they are ashame that people will see they have a gay brother, then I'll have an aggreement with them. Eventhough it's gonna be hard, I will be willing to not let people know that I am their brother in exchange that they'll not bother me in any way. I would go somewhere where I could live a life of happiness. It's hard to be away from your family but it is harder to live a life of LIE...

I was thinking before that I would not come out in my lifetime, but I think time will not let me hide in the closet forever.

Answer 2

You are not being a drama queen. I know exactly how you feel, and I am sure the rest of the lgbt community does as well. It truly is a hard life. and yes I have felt like wanting to kill myself just because I felt I would never meet anyone. But I think of being gay/lesbian as special. It may be hard now, but trust me when you meet that special someone it will all be worth it. And trust me you will. You are only 22. Society has created a fear for people in thier 20's that they need to find someone or they will forever be lonely but this isnt the case. Just take life as it comes at you. and maybe coming out will make things easier for you. I would miss you :)

Answer 3

It depends on where the family is located in relation to the individual, and how much contact they have anyway. If contact with family was very regular, then it would be impossible to hide the partner - or pass him/her off as a "friend". Also, it would put pressure on the relationship if the partner has to "hide".

In terms of coming out, coming out to oneself is the most important and always precedes coming out to anyone else. It is possible for someone to never come out to themselves, and they spend the rest of their life miserable and/or trying to live a lie. People who integrate with their orientation are in better psychological health than those who don't.

Answer 4

You should not keep secrets like that from the people who are closest to you. I do not believe that homosexuality is moral. However, I also do not believe that one sin should beget others (lies). Also, how would that make your partner feel to be kept a secret because you are ashamed of them? If you can't come out with something, especially in this day and age, how sure are you that it is right?

To live that way, surrounded in lies and deception (regardless of my belief of the moral status of homosexuality), is no way to live a happy, free life, and is not what your life is intended to be.


To add a reply to fortunate (above): some animals do occasionally have homosexual relations, though usually as a form of aggression male to male. Chimps do it for pleasure. And animals breed "inter-racially" all the time. Thus mutts, ligers, mules, and that polar-grizzly bear they just found. Not to mention the dogs that hump legs.

Answer 5

that was the 50's when gay couples bought adjoining duplexes to give the illusion that they were single and straight. the 50's was also a time when very few feelings were discussed. read' "Derricks" for what fantasies gay men were living with.
you come out to whomever you wish, your choice. You do not owe your family any big drama by coming out.
and many people do not act on gay feelings, look up celibacy.
Oh, good luck

Answer 6

Not only do many people never come out, there are many gays who live a life in denial...very sorry state. If there are no pressing reasons to come out, I do not see why anyone would be expected to do so...that is a personal decision. I prefer to live openly ... i hate worrying about anything.

Answer 7

Hey kid,

Yes, I know of men who have done that. I could never have done it -- but its doable. You don't have to be single. Do what some of my friends did. Move/go to college more than 1000 miles from home. Live your life, form your life partnership -- and only visit them yearly -- never invite them to visit you. I've a friend who is now 18 years with the same guy -- everyone here knows, his whole family in Texas -- no one knows.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn

Answer 8

It happens all the time. Some gays live the lie to make others happen. Not a good thing to do....I'm out to my family and such as bi. I'm happy with who I am ^_^

Answer 9

There are even people who haven't officially come out to themselves. It's called 45 years old and single and still living with Mama. And usually attending church regularly. I have known several in small towns.

Answer 10

you dont have to come out if you dont want to,I chose to do so because i wanted to stop hiding my feelings ,and i beleive that by being out i will be seen and eventually will be accepted.I am a crossdresser and am gay.you didnt see crossdressers in public and many didnt even know there were as many of us as there are ,but everytime i go out dressed up i am making it a bit easier to be seen.people like us were forced to sneak around (gays ,crossdressers and all)because we werent accepted but with the growing number of us out,one day what and how we are will become as normal as everything else