both of us have abondanment issues for different reasons - we both want it to work - any ideas?
2006-06-21 17:29:01 · 12 answers · asked by seztoguy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I used to read I Corinthians 13 repeatedly, now I have it painted as a border on my bedroom wall.
Try seeking help with your abandonment issues individually. Whatever the reasons, sounds like you are both in a position to be understanding or each other's fears.
Someone advised to another question that e-mails or letters may work better for communication if one or both person(s) involved are unable to stay calm while having a heart-to-heart. There are books out there on how to better communicate. I think the main thing is to think before you speak and not read too much into everything. Honestly my husband and I still need work in the communication area because I tend to jump to conclusions about what he is saying and I read too much into his facial expressions, but I am working on it. Hang in there, it sounds like you both really love each other and want it to work.
2006-06-21 17:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes seek marriage counseling together and go and try to learn how to better listen and communicate with each other. What do you mean by abandonment issues for different reasons if i may ask? I am here if you need to talk. I wish you both the best on working on this marriage and or relationship.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2006-06-22 08:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes relationships need an extra boost. If you haven't already, try going to counseling. Counseling is for all couples and it may help you open up some doors that have been closed between you and your partner.
Also try talking to your partner about how you feel about your relationship. Express to them your concerns about how the lack of communication to tearing your relationship apart. Try going out together and spending time in an area where you two will have to communicate with each other. It will take work, but if you are willing to make it work, time is all you need. Good Luck!
2006-06-22 00:56:14 · answer #3 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not really enough information to make a real good answer, but I would sit down and talk to this person. I have abandonment issues as well. As I work through them, it is like tearing down a wall. You want to tell him how you feel, and find out how he feels about being together. As you begin to trust each other more, the walls will come down.
2006-06-22 00:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by tankgirl190 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question b/c it sounds like you both have thick walls up to protect yourselves. Unless you get together on common ground and tell each other that you are devoted to one another and that you will not be able to move forward until the walls come down, then you'll be wasting your time (and adding to each others pain). It's very hard to knock that wall down, but I can tell you from experience, that once it comes down - you will be able to truly experience love in its greatest form.
2006-06-22 02:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone, it takes work. You have to compromise and you can't give up, neither one of you.
The power of your love has to be stong enough to change your behaviors.
Communicating doesn't always meen sitting around to have a felling pow-wow either. If you to do something else like dancing, sex, or cooking to show togetherness, do that. Just learn what is important to you and you two need to treat each other like the other is good enough for you NOT to abandon them.
2006-06-22 00:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by bridetobebrandie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking here...why not ask your other half. And stop with the psychobabble.."abandonment issues!" Phooey on that crap. Get real and talk. That is the only real help you are going to find. IF you want it to work, then make it work...things like this don't "just happen." It takes constant work. Good luck
2006-06-22 00:34:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't communicate together do this make a daily journal (AM/ PM) seperate one's of course. Example: List your feeling's, goals, ect.) in it and when the week of 7 day's is over share them with one another. Talk to one another about why you were feeling that way that day it will come back to you. This is the 1st step to communication. Need more advice contact me.
2006-06-22 00:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jason S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well communication is obviously a very big importance in relationships!!!! if you love each other and want it to work, here is an idea that you both should follow, be slow to anger, quick to listen and slow to speak!! also counseling works
2006-06-22 00:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to each other, let the other one talk. love is thinking about other partner not your self. show interest to each other and let the other one talks. don't scared him to talk. probably when you guys want to talk it will end up to argue and fight. don;t let hap pend
2006-06-22 01:42:35 · answer #10 · answered by **B** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋