I know we wives nag a lot. I am wondering what you would prefer. Say, you REALLY need to take care of something and we want to remind you of it. Should we just mention it once and never say another word, or just mention it once in a while? What do you consider nagging? Maybe give some examples.
2006-06-21 16:14:36 · 12 answers · asked by My Avatar 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks guys. Keep up the great answers. This helps a lot.
2006-06-21 16:57:31 · update #1
This has been a fun question/answer session...
I have been married for 14 years and we have four children. We have had many discussions concerning this subject, which I do not like to have but are necessary to keep peace in a relationship. (I have to admit that I have never initiated such discussions. Bundling up emotions is a much easier approach than having discussions!)
My biggest complaint to my wife is, "Just tell me what you want to be done and don't give me hints. I will never be able to decipher your hints!" For example, leaving the laundry in a basket on the stairs apparently means, "Husband, you need to take this basket up stairs." Here is what I have deciphered from this situation, "I wonder if these are dirty or clean?" and I walk away. This basket continues to stay there because now the wife has turned this into a game. "How long will he step over the basket of laundry?" This could go on for days.
Bottom line, tell him once and tell him the importance of the task. (Does it need to be done now or later?) Perhaps even let him know that something needs to be by the end of the week. That way he can plan to get it done on his schedule. No hints! Talking about how you would like to repaint the house does not equal, "Start painting the house as soon as possible." A better tactic would be, "I know you hate painting and you would rather shave your head with a cheese grater but I think we need to start thinking about painting the house." Holy smokes! I will still complain but at least I know her intentions - although I don't see why the color needs to changed in the first place!
I am hoping that your husband understands you and that a every-so-often nagging is necessary for us husbands to get something done. My dad gave me some good advice about women when I got married he said, "Don't try to figure them out, just love them."
2006-06-21 17:48:22 · answer #1 · answered by gokuburi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would feel much better if my wife accompanied something with the nag in other words if i have forgot to do something sure remind me but does that have to be the only topic of discussion? Nagging sounds negative because nothing positive is said with it just 'did you take out the trash' or 'the yard still needs to be mowed' how about the wife saying a little something more put a positive in front of the 'did you take out the trash' then it won't sound so much like a nag.
2006-06-22 05:13:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 35 years to the same woman. Women and men speak different languages there is no doubt about this. The only way to stay married is to be totally HONEST with each other about your intentions. If you aren't intending to nag and it is just to inform, your husband will probably know this inside. If he knows that you aren't really nagging him and he is using this excuse of telling you that you are nagging as a ruse to get out of doing something that is dishonest and over the long haul you won't make it. He MUST be honest as to why he firmly believes that you are nagging, if he doesn't really believe in his heart that you are nagging, then he needs to stop using that as an excuse. If he doesn't want to do something you ask of him he should just be honest and say he doesn't want to do it.
Just my two cents.
2006-06-21 23:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by jotmose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...... If my wife asks me more then once a day about the samething, then its nagging. It all depends on the man also. I like to write things down or on my to do list so my wife can SEE IT and she knows its there and BAM! no more nagging. Its now up to me to get it done or take care of it. I leave it on the FRONT DOOR in BIG WRITING so we all can see it as we're leaving to go to work, shopping or what have you and when its done, I simply remove it and she knows its taken care of. Hope that helps.
2006-06-21 23:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a ligit suggestion
Write it down.
Men tend to work with written list quite well. it let's us know you would like our help but allows you to avoid a situation where you appear to be a NAG.
make your list simple ( Never more then 4 to 6 items ) AND list the most important item ( FIRST ) this way he knows what your asking him to do, and he can get to them in (HIS) schedule which may conflict with yours.
( Nothing pisses me off more then being focused on something and then having my wife interupt me because she feels what I'm doing is unimportant) if it was unimportant to me ( I would not be doing it) plus men do best when focused on one thing at a time. We do not multitask well like many women can with great ease. so keep that in mind
FYI Never interupt your man in the middle of something.
Suggestion
( Honey when your finished can you come find me I have a question for you)
if he is buzy he can find you later. if he is not buzy he will probably stop and ask you what. this allows you control of the conversation AND shows him you respect his time and him as a person.
Read His Needs, Her Needs, By Willard harley Jr.
The 5 Love Languages, By Chapman
( HOW TO WIN FRIEND AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE) By Dale Carnegie
This is the best book for communication skills
followed by
7 Habits of highly effective people. Covey.
God Bless
2006-06-21 23:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nagging is when you ask the same question more than once even when you already know the answer, or can't wait until the husband is ready to do something before you ask again.
2006-06-22 00:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah yes.. nagging.
say something comes up like mowing the lawn. if it get time when the lawn is past when it is usually mowed, simply ask 'when were you planning on mowing the lawn?' .. answer given leave it at that.
nagging would be asking every day when he's going to mow the lawn. we forget, sometimes have to be reminded but not constantly.
2006-06-21 23:18:53 · answer #7 · answered by bludyone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer is to POST a "Honey Do" list in prominent place for both of you !! If one or both of you don't take care of your own list , then you have a reason to NAG !!!!
2006-06-22 10:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by andyinramona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nagging is telling me to do something, that i DO NOT want to do at this exact point in time, when you know i can do it later (ie. watching the game, relaxing, watching the game) Believe it or not..
2006-06-22 13:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
usualy what woks with me is to just ask in a manner of respect and it seems to work better and not like nagging.
2006-06-22 00:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋