My fiance loves our son, I know this. But he's too consumed in his own life. He wants to be gone all the time having fun, while me and my son are stuck at home all of the time. Sometimes I think he cares more about drinking and being with his buddies than he cares about us.
2006-06-21 16:06:40 · 7 answers · asked by Abbi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm 20 and he's 24.
2006-06-21 16:10:58 · update #1
I am guessing that he is young, immature and oh so selfish, right? It's not really his fault, men just don't mature as quickly as us women do. Not fair, to you, no way, though. I totally understand how you feel. However, you made the choice to get pregnant and have the child, and now someone has to take care of it. If you can, get a sitter, and go out with your girlfriends once in awhile, you deserve it. Or, try and make a deal with your fiance that he gets to go out on Friday night, but, on Saturday night, he stays home with the baby, so you can go out. If you want him to take more responsibility, then you will have to force it upon him. Good luck to you.
2006-06-21 16:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jeanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that he is missing the best potential memories of your son being small.
remind him how fast your son will grow up and say it hurts you both when you leave all the time.
Tell him what you wrote here and say this is how I feel. He will probably get very defensive so break it to him lightly. But say things that will play on his guilt. He knows where he should be.
Say things like, 'you have the rest of your life to go out and drink with your friends, but our son won't stay young forever, please give him good memories of his father and not always walking out the door and coming home drunk.
Also, try to make more dates with your son and him. Have things planned out in advance,--a lot of things. so start thinking about them. Maybe going to an arcade, the beach, picnic, park, out for ice cream, a kids movie, play miniature golf, etc. When you do go out, make it fun and try not to fight or get on him at all when you are out with him. Make an example of yourself, 'look how much fun I am having with our son, you can do it too'
remember, friends come and go, this might just be a phase because he feels 'trapped' in family life.
Try to discuss these feelings with him, try to get him to open up as to what the real reason is he is running out all the time. And meantion how unfair it is to you, say to him: 'and what life are you leaving me with while you woop it up with your friends?thanks for shoving all the parenting on me while you bail out'.
most of all tell him it's hurting your son. Make a compromise with him that he has to spend more time with you and the boy (his family!) than his friends and that's the deal because it is only right that you get more time. You say, who do you love more? booze and your stupid buddies or me and your son?
2006-06-21 23:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that he does love you both, just that he has his priorities messed up at the moment...Maybe this can be resolved just by talking it out and making him see your point, or maybe if u "switch places" for a week and make him see what u see through your eyes...Good luck and hope u figure it out soon.
2006-06-21 23:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might think that he is too young to be at home with you and also to be a father. Remember girls mature faster than guys - how old are you both?
2006-06-21 23:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by Beccygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is definitely not a good father if he would rather spend time with his buddies than you and your son
stay away from him
GOOD LUCK
2006-06-21 23:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by citygirl18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question
2006-06-21 23:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by bstevko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might think twice before making any more babies ... their future doesn't sound good.
2006-06-21 23:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋