Has any guy ever tried to listen? If you payed attention, maybe you would realize that she's just trying to tell you how she feels? It turns into a fight because you guys don't want to listen. It's very frustrating. There is a difference between hearing and listening. It's one thing to hear jibberish, but it's quite another to listen and find out what she's talking about. It's so frustrating!
2006-06-21 15:54:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that its ok for a relationship to be one sided. I think that if a woman wants to talk about something, she should have the right. Men just never want to listen. No matter what the conversation is about. I don't use monotone. I talk to him like I would talk to one of my girlfriends. He should be my best friend. Usually we do get to talk in a good manner, But there are times when he'd rather watch T.V or drink a beer. Men are so different from women.
2006-06-21 19:04:58 · update #1
Well if your using the same tone and syntex that you used in this question I can easily understand why your hubby would call you a nag.
First in good communication skills. it's one thing to express an opinion. it's another to undermine your husband behind his back.
(read the book His Needs, Her Needs, By Willard Harley Jr. )
Now do you understand how men and women listen to conversations?
women empathise during a conversation. Men listen with the goal of solving a problem.
one suggestion you could use is before you begin ask your hubby if he would be willing to listen without judgement, as you have a (NEED) to just vent. this will let him know your not asking for help to sove a problem, but you just need to have someone to listen to what you have to say without judgement.
after a couple times doing this HE might actually learn when you need help, and when you are just venting. Sorry but you women have done a piss poor job of teaching us men which is which. especially since each woman is unique and has her own method of expressing herself.
Another technique is to read the Book by John Gray called ( Men are from mar's women are from venus) excellent book.
This one has excellent communication educational tools each can use to enhance gender communication.
I also suggest you read ( The 5 Love Languages, By Chapman) your need to ( TALK ) so you can hear the sound of your voice might be a significent IRRATANT to your husband. ( did you talk to your hubby like you did back when you were dating? I'm willing to bet you did not. Women have no clue how damaging words they utter to their man can cause intense pain for us. no it's not a physical bleeding, but they do hurt and usuallly is the first steps leading to an extramarrital affair. women balme the men but they rarely accept responsibility for the actions that literally drove their man from their warm embrace. if you abuse his (LOVEBANK) you have no one but your self to blame.
Suggest you work on fixing your self. since you have no control of any one else. and try a little compasion and education with your mate. it can go a long way twords building a strong marriage.
God Bless
2006-06-21 16:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sully 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It becomes nagging when you keep wanting to talk about the same thing. If we have a great relationship why do we have to have a heart to heart? Conversation should be easy and come like the flow of traffic. If we have to sit down have these long boring conversations about your feelings then it's obvious you're not happy. Men don't have to think about what they are going to say they just tell you if you like it cool if not life goes on. What's wrong your man not giving you enough attention?
2006-06-21 16:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh I so know what you mean. My husband says that I complain too much...but if he would sit and listen that maybe since I say the EXACT SAME THING every time for the last 4 years that maybe there is something that isn't making me happy. They always want us to just shut up and not say anything when we're not happy so we're suppose to just keep it inside until we blow up. and my husband always says that he is the way he is and I knew that when we got married...yes but he knew who I was too and he knows the things that make me mad...like he always says you know that makes me mad so why do you do it...but he can say that...if I do...then its complaining. I tell him to me its my opinion but to him its complaining and nagging. I definately know what you mean! and agree with you! Especially about the hearing and listening thing. He always says I'm listening to you...or I heard you...but instead of going in one ear and out the other is it sticking in the big thing in the middle?
2006-06-21 18:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't of said it better myself. You hit the nail on the head. They DON'T listen. Guys just don't like to talk, never have, never will. Thank God we have other women to talk to.
2006-06-21 15:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree!! I try to be nice by "suggesting" to my husband that he helps me with something, and when he doesn't, I get annoyed and flat out ask him, then, all of a sudden, I'm nagging!!! You can't win.
2006-06-21 16:00:53 · answer #5 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys just think we like to *****. They're like cavemen, they want conversations with one word answers. If they have to actually use their brains, they might die.
2006-06-21 15:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by qtpie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i want to talk my hubby asks are you fixing to start your cycle i think its pointless sometimes to talk
2006-06-21 16:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by klynnd1981 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haaaahhaaa my guy listens cuz i got him on S~M~A~S~H!!!!! lol
but most guy are dumb shits thatDONT listen
2006-06-21 16:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by jazzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you say something?
2006-06-21 16:01:30 · answer #9 · answered by lowIQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋