I have been married for nine years, to a man that has tons of problems, and everything that can go wrong in a marriage can...I have been on anti-depressents for four years and I can't live without it...I look in the mirror and the girl I knew is gone and what is left is a bitter woman, who lost her smile. The only light in this world of darkness is my daughter. She breaths life into me and gives me some of her spirit. So why can't I leave and mean it. I know what is going to happen, their is no romance, no sex, no love. I am not the first thing or the last on his list of thoughts. My insticts tell me, he doesn't love you. There is no christmas, no happiness..I am alone and living with a person. When he looks at me, the word c...t!! comes to mind. I am so lost..Do I trust my insticts, to know that the rest of the marriage is worthless?
2006-06-21 15:54:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was married to a man that was verbally and emotionally abusive. It is hard to leave, but actually it is a lot harder to stay. After only 2 weeks of being separated from him I felt such amazing relief that I had no problem finally admitting to myself and to him that I wanted a divorce. It was the best decision I ever made. Luckily I did not have a child with him, I am glad an innocent child did not have to witness that kind of life. I do hope you will get out of that situation, for your own sake *and* for the sake of your daughter. You do not want her to grow up thinking this is how "love" is supposed to be and have her end up with the same kind of man. If you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, please find the strength to do it for your sweet little girl!
2006-06-21 16:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by lala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this...if it were daughter being treated by a man like your husband treats you, would you allow it? I think not, and by staying with this guy all you are doing is telling yourself and your daughter that he is all you deserve. And that is so far from the truth, that it is scary. You and your daughter deserve happiness, you deserve a kind word, you both deserve to feel loved. You don't want you daughter to fall in your shoes, but how will she know different, if you don't put an end to all this right now. Leave him, get out of that house as fast as you can, get some good therapy, and hopefully you will begin to heal, and you will be there for your daughter, and be the best that you can be, and you will be great, I know that you will. I wish you and your daughter all the best. Your future is bright, walk towards the light.
2006-06-21 16:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and formost... speak with a Battered Woman counselor. They can tell you if he has rights in terms of you taking your children out of the state. Don't think he does though. Once you find that he has no right to keep you or the children against your will you secretly call all your muscle bound male relatives tell them to drive down with cars, trucks, SUV's or a few U-haul trucks on day you all agree on (make sure they leave together.. Let them pack your stuff... and get to steppin and PLEASE NEVER RETURN. It may even be a smart thing to call the police and tell them to have an officer waiting curb side outside the home. Go your local police department and tell them what's going on and that you need their assistance. Understand this... if you go back to that situation ever again... you should be considered "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" Don't fall for that crap about him changing.. It bad enough you allowed him to fool you with his smooth words and then isolate you from your family by taking out of the state. This is typical behavior for an abuser. RUN! and stay gone this time... because the next time you may not live to ask any questions on this site.
2016-05-20 10:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too was once in an abusive relationship and i stuck around for a while until it got extremely scary. All that I can tell you is that it sounds like your marriage has been over for a while so i strongly suggest getting out now before you don't have that chance anymore. Trust me it will work out better for you and your daughter.
2006-06-22 04:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by amybebe1986 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your instincts are never wrong, get out while you can. When you stay in a situation like this all you do is show your daughter that its ok. My ex beat me on a regular basis. I have a son and a daughter. I thought I had no way out either until one day I saw my son do the same thing to my daughter and after he punched her he said now see what you made me do, he used the same words his father did. That is when I got out with my two kids and now im married to my knight in shinning armour. Get out and show your daughter she dont ever have to put up with a husband like that. Pray to the lord for guidance. Good Luck. If you ever need someone to talk to im always here just let me know......We are all brothers and sisters in gods eyes.
2006-06-21 16:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your insticts. I was in a marriage and relationships like this--relationships with men abusers and friend relationships with women abusers. I learned to not let my feet get cold and leave in a hurry. Save you and the baby.
2006-06-21 17:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u're daughter is the most important thing & u need 2 leave 4 the sake of her. U don't want 2 stay in a relationship like that. And if you need to learn how to leave act as if going shopping w/ u're daughter and go 2 a shelter.
2006-06-21 16:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mickey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you truly learn to love yourself, you will be stuck in the relationship. When you find love within yourself, only than will the true answers come to you of knowing just what to do and say. The first thing you can start with: is demanding the respect you deserve. We all have that right.
2006-06-21 16:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, trust your instinct, it's over. Someone who is suppose to love you does not abuse you in this way. Take your daughter and tell him your leaving. You will have a light at the end of this dark tunnel you are in once you are free of him. Bless you.
2006-06-21 18:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You staying with him apparently isn't helping you. And if you feel this horrible, it is worthless. you have to live for you and no one else. My mother was in an abusive relationship for 6 years and had 4 kids by him and was scared to leave. But a friend said to her do you worship god or him and she left him, even though she was dead broke. He's not worth your soul.
2006-06-21 16:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by mk4life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋