i have w my man for 7years not married but living together for the same amount of time.. others say i should get married first.. or wait a few more year until iam out of debt.. which it would take me that long to really get out of debt.. i dont know, i just dont want to wait any longer.. iam 32 years old... just want to know if iam doing the right thing..
2006-06-21 15:49:58 · 12 answers · asked by ms janice 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
You mentioned that maybe you should wait until you are out of debt......most people will never be out of debt but consider the added expense of raising a child. Plus the amount of time from work you will lose during the pregnancy and after they are born from illness and checkups, etc. The following is bare minimum.
Child care: (0-11) $4,300
Groceries: (0-18) $1,525
Clothing: (0-18) $606
Gift giving: (0-18) $330
Bigger home: (0-18) $2,900
Bigger car: (5-18) $1,250
Education: (5-18) $600
Recreation: (0-18) $330
Additional insurance: (0-18) $300
Health care: (0-18) $300
Miscellaneous: (0-18) $330
Total amount needed to raise a child: 0-4: $13,891/yr; 5-11: $12,771/yr; and 12-18: $8,471/yr. Total for 18 years $190,528
Can you afford it?
Also, is your relationship with your man solid? Will the extra burden cause a problem for your relationship? Can you afford to raise the child on your own if your relationship can not withstand a child? Lots of things to consider......
2006-06-21 16:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by thematrixhazu36 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You will know when it is "right". I suppose as far as risk factors are concerned during pregnancy, I think before 40 is ideal. As far as the money goes...how much do you have left over at the end of the week? Scout the Baby Isles at your local store/market. There is a fabulous program in PA called WIC. I do not know if they have this in other states. Either way, it is not the misconceived welfare that people think it is. Taxpayers in general afford this privilege, including you, so take advantage of that. Also...having a baby is very expensive, I mean literally having it. Does your insurance cover births...and how much? How about your boyfriend? Is he on board with this? If he will be helping financially (I hope so.) then if he is not in debt this will help. And by the way...marriage has its perks. If you are serious about each other, go for it. You will then be able to take advantage of the fact that you can be put on his health insurance policy, etc. If all of this is sounding like too much then you are not ready!
2006-06-21 23:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband were not financially stable when we had our first child. Something I do not regret although it did not make things any easier when it came to buying diapers, food, formula, etc. If you chose to wait till you are financially stable you may never have children, that is how we looked at it.
As far as not being married that is your choice but a child is a big decision, and from experience I would definitely recommend being married before having children. Being a parent can be very stressful at times and unless you have that support and commitment that if something were to happen you know he would stay I would get married first.
When you chose to start a family is between you and your partner. Just remember it is a big decision and nothing to be taken lightly. Maybe ask other couples who had children before they got married and see what their experience has been. Whatever you decide Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2006-06-21 23:31:25 · answer #3 · answered by mom2abigsis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what u think is right..I will say though that if most people waited till they were out of debt, or till they thought they could "afford a child" than there would be a lot less pregnant women in the world...Sometimes the time never seems perfect until u are already preggo...Good luck!
2006-06-21 23:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are never ready to have a baby. When are you ever ready to stop the life you know and start a new one? Kids cost money but when you're pregnant the gifts and hand-me-downs come out of the woodwork. Do yourself a favour and start paying the debts but don't wait forever or you'll never think you're ready.
2006-06-21 23:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by chrissheather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the older you are the more complecations that you can have with your pregnancy. But you should really talk it over with you boyfriend and see what and how he feels about the situation. if you really want to have kids then do it i wouldn't wait, but make sure that you have enough money to take care of the child(ren). Don't do anything that you don't want to do. And good luck
2006-06-21 22:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by hott_n_sexy_grl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when you are financially ready and stable because it really isn't as easy as it seems.Also, when your body is ready make sure you are healthy get checked out to avoid complications and unexpected worries. Im 23 and its hard raising my daughter sometimes i have to struggle, I suggest mentally being ready to and if preventable have a reliable companion to help you and support you.
2006-06-21 23:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by leandria b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about everything. Discuss it in depth. Then...stop thinking and follow your heart. If you go into it with no thought, it may *not* be the right time. But if you wait until everything is perfect, you'll never have kids.
2006-06-22 07:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you grow older complications related to pregnancy increases,its better you get pregnant but see to it that you are married.
2006-06-22 01:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what you want to do, and what you think is right! It is always cool to have your own child as a flower girl, or ring barer!
Love,
Lexa :)
2006-06-21 22:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by 7abibi♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋