14 and pregnant!?

Question

Hey, i'm Hailey and my best friend Farrah who is 14 like me told me that she was pregnant and she told me to tell her if she should tell the father and her parents then have the baby or get an abortion and keepit all a secret but i'm only 14 and I can't make a big decision like that, someones klife is in my hand and i'm only 14!

Answer 1

Farrah absolutely should not kill her baby. Please show her the photos of aborted babies here:

http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

and the photos of unborn babies here:

http://www.JustTheFacts.org

She can read the stories of other pregnant teens here:

http://www.StandUpGirl.com

She should go to a pregnancy care center right away, and they will give her good counseling (and lots of other services, like free maternity and baby supplies.) She can find one near her here: http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp All their services are totally confidential and free.

The people at the pregnancy care center can also help her tell her parents and her boyfriend about her pregnancy, if she wants. Or, she can get advice on telling her parents here:
http://lifehouse.glorifyjesus.com/questions/pregnancy/tellingparents.html
and here:
http://www.silentscream.org/momim.htm

Abortion is very dangerous and traumatic. You can learn more about abortion here:

http://Abort73.com
and here:
http://www.abortionfacts.com

You can be a good friend by encouraging Farrah to protect herself and her baby.

Answer 2

Hey Hailey, I'm 14 too. Wow, that sounds tough! But I think your friend probably knows what needs to be done. She has to tell the father, but most importantly her parents. They need to be there to support her and help her, even if that goes with a lot of discipline. Since she's fourteen, she's probably not capable of raising a child.
The fact that she's having one at such a young and vulnerable age means that she probably is not mature enough to deal with that (I don't mean to sound harsh, and I don't know the situation, but this is definitly serious stuff). If I were in Farrah's situation, I would first tell my parents, then tell the father, then look into either a)adoption, or b)have my parents raise the child.

Either one would be very hard, but even harder would be an abortion. That kind of drastic procedure leaves emotional wounds that never heal. I personally would probably choose option a. There are so many good families out there that she could choose from with the help of her family. By choosing a healthy family, your friend would be able to feel more comfortable with giving up her child. With option b, she'd probably feel awkward around her child and it could turn out badly.

I encourage your friend to look beyond abortion. A mother atomatically bonds with her child even before they are born. Even while the baby is not fully developed, they are still alive and being nurtured in the mother's womb. It would be a painful and terrifying operation and it doesn't "get rid of the problem" it just adds some more.

I hope your friend will make wise choices, I will pray for her and you in this hard time. Know that you are not being forced to choose to do anything. Your friend does need your support more than ever, but you don't need to feel overwhelmed and helpless.

Answer 3

Unfortunately you need to move fast for both her and her baby. I was faced with this at 15 and my best friend and I decided she should have an abortion and we went together without any one knowing. She ended up staying with him and marrying him 10 years later and they did have a child together but there was always the stigma of the abortion hanging over her head. It truly is life changing. I wish we had never done it on our own and I have always wished we had consulted an adult first. It was a really sad day and I felt like I had been a part of something awful and yet once it was done we never spoke of it again and I don't think a day went by for a year or so that I didn't think about it. I highly suggest talking to her parents with her boyfriend and making a family decision, especially if you have a basically normal relationship with everyone involved. Her parents will most likely freak out but that's their love talking at first. A good parent would hate for their child to make such a life altering decision on their own and once they had a chance to think about it for a night or two would begin to think of their child again and not themselves and how it would affect them. It is hard to think of raising another child for their child and that would be their biggest fear at first. Take a day to think about it before making any decisions and encourage her to talk to an adult first such as a guidance counsellor (no matter how dorky they are, they are trained in this stuff) or a trusted adult before consulting her parents. Good luck and remember you've only been on this planet for 14 years so let someone who's been here longer help you both out.

Answer 4

This is a big decision especially for a young person. That is why you should tell her to tell the father and then she needs to tell her parents or at least an adult she trust. It is unfair of her to put all that pressure on you plus it is not up to you. She needs to discuss her options with her parents as well as his parents and a doctor to determine what will be right for her. Having a baby is a big thing and you want to stress to her the importance of telling someone and not keeping it a secret. It is not something you want to go through alone. Good luck

Answer 5

You don't hav to make these decisions. Your friend does. Yes, she should tell the father, first, and both should go to either her parents or a family planning clinic and start being adults, since having sex is an adult thing to do. Whenever they tell someone in theri family they should be prepared for them to get upset. Let em. They should make up their own minds about what they want to do. Yes it is scary but it is lfe. Abortion is an option. Having a baby and giving it up is an option Being parents is an option also and very difficult. You?

Listen...ask questions, especially "what do you want to do?"

be supportive..obviously you are a very good friend.Learn from the mistakes of others...

I am a retired midwife, and I have worked in family planning and abortion clinics. It is ultimately HER decision.

Answer 6

Your friend should have never put you in this position in the first place, I strongly reccomend that she tell her parents, and if she needs you to be there for support when she tells them, it would be a good idea, but remember, there is going to be a lot of yelling, etc.. Secondly, tell her not to have an abortion, if she has one she will regret it the rest of her life, if she doesn't want to keep the baby, then she can put it up for adoption, there are a lot of adults that can't have children, that would really apprecitae and give a baby a loving home, just remember the next 9 months of her life are going to be very hard for her, if she decides to keep the baby, then do what you can to help her, and make it a learning experience for you as to why unprotected sex, and sex at a young age is not a good idea, because this is going to change her life, her family's life, and yours as well

Answer 7

I'm looking to adopt a newborn baby right from the hospital, willing to travel reasonable distance to adopt and sign any necessary forms for the adoption process. I was wondering if there's anyway that I can get a hold of a mother to be and adopt without going through lawyers and a bunch of court fees. If there is anyone out there that can help me with this or is considering adoption please post an answer or contact me at [e-mail]...I posted this and well if this girl is considering abortion I would be very happy to adopt the baby. If you could contact me.

Answer 8

It sounds like you are a good friend to ask such a hard question for your friend. Maybe you can try talking to your mother and ask your mother to help her talk to her parents. A baby is a huge responsibility and an abortion is also a huge responsibility. You two need an adult to help you through this. Hailey is lucky to have you as her friend. I wish you the best.

Answer 9

i think that if she was "big" enough to have sex then she is "big" enough to take care of a baby...im 16 and having my first son....im about 37 weeks so hes comin any day now...ive learned that being pregnant is no picnic....but i made my bed now i have to sleep in it too...so tell her she is a big girl now and needs to fess up to what she did....in other words tell her to tell her parents they might be pissed at first but if they love her (which im sure they do) then they will help her along the way with whatever she needs...im not hatin im just telling you that sex is only good for that time but can change your life in an instant if you decide to act grown up and have unprotected sex....i know this might sound mean but hopefully she miscarries cuz that would be the best for being only 14.....im still pregnant and its hard i just cant imagine life after my baby is born but im ready she should be too! well good luck....if you or her has any other ?'s feel free to email me at [e-mail] alrighty =)

Answer 10

Tell at least her parents!!!!! If she doesn't want to keep the baby or can't take care of it she could put it up for adoption. This is too difficult a decision for a 14 year old.