Do u kno jokes?

Question

If you kno any good jokes pleaz leave one but none that are hurtful to other people pleaz!

Answer 1

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?



He was looking for POOH! ;)

Answer 2

I know a great knock-knock joke. You start it...

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Three Texas surgeons are playing golf when they begin bragging about their accomplishments.

First surgeon says, "I reattached four fingers for one of my patients and a year later, she played piano at Carnegie Hall!"

Second surgeon says, "That's pretty good, but I reattached an arm and a leg for one of my patients and a year later he won a gymnastics gold medal in the Olympics!"

Third surgeon says, "Doctors, I've got you all beat! I had a cowboy who got run over by a train. All I had to work with was a cowboy hat and a horses ***, and now he's President of the United States!"

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Look around this site, they have jokes that people submitted and voted on. They say they found the world's funniest joke, and it's pretty good.
http://www.laughlab.co.uk/home.html

Answer 3

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses that guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joey Shasta, retired pilot, of Pittsburg, PA."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he flew, people prayed."

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An Air Canada plane took off from Torbay Airport in St. John's.
After it reached its cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the intercom:

"Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop
from St. John's to Toronto. The weather ahead is good and we
should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and
relax . . . . OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed.

After a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "I'm sorry if I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally
spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front
of my pants!"

A Newfoundlander passenger yelled, "That's nothing guy.
You should see the back of mine!"

Answer 4

Q: Why did the chicken run across the road?
A: There was a car coming.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
A: She wanted to lay it on the line.
Q: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
A: She wanted to stretch her legs.
Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
A: She was afraid someone would caesar!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

Answer 5

A guy goes to see the doctor. The doctor comes and says "I have bad news and worse news.". The guy asks for the bad news and the doctor says "You have 24 hours to live". The guy frantically says "What is the worse news?". The doctor replies "I forgot to tell you yesterday.".

Answer 6

A tropical gent walks into a bar with a magnificent parrot on his shoulder. The bartender is astounded by what he sees, and quickly asks, "where did you get him"? The parrot says, SQUAWK! DOWN IN THE ISLANDS, THERES A MILLION OF THEM!!

Answer 7

Report "Keep. It. Simple", Tigger hurt Pooh by his joke.

Answer 8

man and wife are working in the garden. man tells wife "hun I think you bottom has gotten bigger. in fact I think it's bigger then the Bar B Que." wife says "thanks hun." man goes and measures Bar B Que and then measures wifes bottom. Man says "I knew it, your bottom is 2 inches wider then the BBQ." later that night man is trying to get romantic with wife. wife turns and says "do you really think I'm lighting this Big "A" grill for one little wiener?"

Answer 9

Yo momma is so stupid that it took her 2 hrs to watch 60 mins.

Yo momma is so stupid that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Answer 10

Who are the people do their job by driving customers away?




Taxi drivers...LOL