I forgave him eventually and we moved on. Sixty one days later I found out I was pregant, we were both ecstatic. When I had my ultrasound it gave me the date that I concieved and it was on the night of the forced sex and abuse. I have not made him aware yet. I dont even know if I should tell him, but I feel that this child was not made because of Love it was made because of forced intercourse. I feel numb and shocked and I dont know what to do, or who to tell. My boyfriend out weighs me by 70 pounds, He is extremly strong and I told him stop as he was holding me down with one arm and ripping my pants off with the other. He was extremely jealous the day of the incident. I had sent off my ex huband to Iraq. The only reason why I went was because of our daughter to say goodbye to her daddy. I dont know if I sould tell him, but I feel numb and sick now that I know how and when this child was concieved. He is extremly happy now and I dont know what to do. Please help me understand.
2006-06-21 13:48:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He rapped you, report him to the police, and leave him straight away, get a restraining order so that he can not come near you again, tell your ex-husband as it effects his daughter that i assume is living with you. But make sure you get away from this rapist as soon as possible, neither you or your daughter is safe from that man.
You have options with what to do about the pregnancy, you can either keep it or abort it, it is your choice, don't let anybody tell you that abortion is wrong, you was rapped by this animal and it would be normal not to want the offspring of that union. Speak to a councillor about this and then make your own decision.
But above all LEAVE now!
2006-06-21 14:50:50 · answer #1 · answered by kel 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's plain and simple: your 'boyfriend' raped you as well as abused you. There is NO excuse for what he did. Do NOT explain away what he did. And please don't think that he won't do it again. Once someone does this, they will do it again and again. It will only get worse, he will eventually go after the kids (and who knows in how many ways/how/when). You do NOT deserve to be treated like this. This guy not only is an abuser, he has major, major issues (control, jealousy--which will only get worse and break you up--power, etc).
When a guy rapes a woman, it is not out of need for sex or because he loves them. It is a need for power and control over the woman. I wouldn't be surprised if he was being verbally abusive and controlling in other ways.
You say that he is happy. What about you? Are you truly happy with him? How can you ever forgive a rapist, then live with him, especially with a young daughter in the home who depends on you to protect and take care of her?
Personally, as soon as he raped me, I would have kicked his sorry a** out the door, told him not to let it his him in the a** on the way out, and moved on as I called the cops. Do you want to get married and have this happen then? Then you would have to go thru a divorce, custody battle, etc. Then it would be even harder to walk away.
I think that this guy also should know when this child is conceived--so he can feel guilty. I have absolutely NO mercy for rapists and abusers. I have had it happen to me and wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Good luck.
2006-06-21 21:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your bf about what he did to you - no one has a right to rape/abuse anyone. If he did it once what is going to stop him from doing it again? I don't care if he was jealous or not - if he can't understand that your daughter needed to see her dad off to Iraq then this guy has serious issues.
As for your baby - children are a blessing, you need to keep that in mind. Your baby might not have been conceived under the best circumstances but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with the child. As long as you love this baby and your bf loves this child your baby is going to be fine.
You telling your bf about when the child was conceived is up to you - if you do tell him what will it accomplish? It will probably cause drama and you may become overly emotional. But if you want him to know then you should tell him.
2006-06-21 20:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a touchy subject and a very tough question to answer. I had written out from my experience on what you should do, but since I am not a professional, I don't want the responsibility of giving you bad advice. You should talk to a professional, or at least ask Dr. Phil for an expert's point-of-view.
2006-06-21 21:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him as he is a time bomb and will only abuse you again or perhaps one of your children. His abuse will happen again when you are not willing to satisfy his needs. It may be too late to charge him with rape because you have been with him since but do not continue to trust him. Once a man does something like that he is no better than a rabid dog.
2006-06-21 20:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He raped you, he doesn't deserve to be a daddy. He does have the right to know when you got pregnant tho. Good Luck to you and I would hope that the next time he abuses you, that you would kick his *** out and call the police.
2006-06-21 20:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u in love with this guy?....really i dont know what to say about the baby thing.. dont give yur child up because of something like this .. it may not have been made out of love but it is still a part of you...this baby may be a reminder that there is love left out there some where....and the baby doesnt need to end up being stopped of life or given up... love this baby.. this baby is not only him .. its you too...
2006-06-21 20:53:29 · answer #7 · answered by crzy b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A man who would do such a thing does not deserve to have a child....if he dont know how to treat people right, he shouldnt have one. if he was jealous over that, hes an asshole. YOU raise that baby
2006-06-21 20:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by thats_life07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh. I feel so sorry for you. The only thing I can tell tell you is call 9-1-1 before your situation gets worse
2006-06-21 20:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by sexy-stephie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a no brainer...leave him. If he is going to abuse you in any way, why would you stay? Please don't say " for the sake of the kids." For their sake is why you need to leave. ( and your own!) The choice is up to you, in regards of the conceived child; We can say all we think and it still is your choice.
2006-06-21 20:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by T C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋