She has tried for three years to get pregnant and can't, also has tried several methods. To talk about it sometimes brings her to tears... How do I talk to her about ME getting pregnant (fears, excitements, etc...) with out her getting upset or mad at me? I want to be sensetive to her yet it is hard when you are planning something as exciting as this! Do I just not talk to her about it? Avoid it? It'll be hard to avoid it if I DO get pregnant, which probably will happen since I have a family history of MANY births.... Help me!! I don't want to be inconsiderate because I know it must be hard for her!!! Serious answers please!!
2006-06-21 13:44:51 · 13 answers · asked by Troopers_Gurl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think you should be straight up with her and tell her exactly what you just said. That you love her, feel terrible that she has had such a hard time and don't want to say something insensitive to her and hurt her any more than she already is. If she says that would be very difficult for her to hear about then just be very quiet about things. However she may want to know how you are doing and try to help you, and you can add that too, that you would like her help, psychological support since she is so close to you.
Even with that said though, I wouldn't talk about it all the time, no matter if she says she can handle it...that could be too much. Gradually she may be able to handle more and more but as the baby comes she may be even more resentful and back away. You're going to have to play it by feel. And you may consider making her a Godmother.
You sound like a dear friend, just hope she can have one of her own someday, my wife had hers at 39. Maybe there will be a miracle of some kind and her body will let her have one someday.
Best Wishes:)
2006-06-21 13:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by rooster2381 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
well I personally would tell her how I feel, now if shes your friend she will understand, that does not mean that she wont get upset or be disappointed but if shes a true friend she will be happy for you.Oh I forgot to say that is in the event that you do come up pregnant. But it depends on how long its been since she's tried it might be a little too much for her. I had (2) best friends that couldn't get pregnant I tried not to gloat about it but just keep them informed on what was going on besides they were about to be god parents. What I'm saying is keep her informed and be sensitive at the same time. But in the initial conversation she may have mixed feelings. But if she's a friend be sensitive to her needs as well. I hope this helps : )
2006-06-21 21:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by linda48217 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk to her about it! Simply because most likely you will get pregnant, and in the process she'll be thinking that same exact thing! It will only make her feel worst! Anyway, take joy in the hopes of a pregnancy! When u finally do get pregnant tell her with a big smile, but don't rub it in! Just be gentle. Say to her, "I know you have been trying, and me telling you this probably makes you fell upset, but I wanted to tell you so we can share in the hopes that one day you too will conceive." Ok that's a little too scripted, but you get the point. When the time comes be compassionate, but in the mean time stay quiet about your trying to get pregnant! Good Luck!
2006-06-21 20:53:37 · answer #3 · answered by strawberrysudha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple DON'T.
I'm serious. if you know this is hard for your friend then avoid this topic at all cost. talk to your other friends about this if you must. I wouldn't bring baby pictures to a friend that had a misscarriage.
and when you do get pregnant she'll deal. she has to see the pregnant people on tv and at work. next time she brings up the topic. you might mention that your trying to have a baby too.
2006-06-21 21:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, until you do get pregnant you should just try to stay away from the subject when you are around her. I'm sure you have other friends to talk to who will be able to get excited with you. This doesn't mean you can't talk to her at all - just don't bring up pregnancy.
When you DO get pregnant you should wait for her to bring it up. When she's asking you about your pregnancy it will be a sign that she is ready to talk about it with you.
That is the best advice I can give. I hope it helps! :)
2006-06-21 20:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Melissa♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest not talking to her about it! If you are a good friend, and you know it hurts her feelings, try and avoid it!
If you do get pregnant, she may wish you congrats and all that stuff, but i wouldn't talk about anything baby unless she brings it up!
Yes it may be hard but you need to keep her feelings in mind!
Think of this in the reverse! If you were your friend who cannot have kids and it brings you to tears everytime you talk about it? Would you want to talk about it?
Plus there are plenty of people you can talk to, other friends, family?! I would try and avoid it to not hurt her feelings!
2006-06-21 20:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk with her about your fears, excitement, emotions, etc. Don't you have another friend whom you can confide in? Obviously when you do get pregnant, this friend will notice. If she doesn't bring it up, don't mention it...just pretend you're not pregnant. If she resents you for being pregnant, then she's not a good friend. It's not your fault she's infertile.
2006-06-21 22:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by ewells1014 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for some people to accept cuz of their "problem" she should be happy for you.I have a 9 year old and I'm 28,been married for 6 years and haven't gotten pregent and it is very hard.
2006-06-21 20:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by winona n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will probably not tell her about my plans, and let her know when I am already pregnant. I know its something girls want to share with one another but in her case is something that makes her really sad, so you have to respect that.
2006-06-21 20:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by Caicita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until you ARE pregnant to tell her...like around the time you tell your boss. Then go into details when she asks about it.
2006-06-21 21:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋