Step Daughter?

Question

I have an 11 year old step daughter and Ive noticed over the months, she has become very snappy, very mean, and when I tell her no for something she gives me a real attitude, she also told her real mom she didnt like me and Ive been in her life for 4 years, the only time she acts sweet to me is when she wants me to spend money on her and the truth is I shouldnt have to do that, Could this be a sign of puberty cause her mom has been having problems with her also, what should I do?? I have an 11 year old son who doesnt even act in this manor or is she just down right spoiled

Answer 1

Part of it is probably puberty.
Ask her father to intervene with the attitude and set some rules of how she may express herself with you and how she may not as well as consequences of the actions on her part.

Answer 2

Listen!!! I am a man and while it should not make a difference I married and became the father of two step daughters. They where four years old and five when they came to me. They are now 24 and 25. I always had trouble with them from the time they were 12 until they left home. They only need to play you against the other parent or real parent. I never treated my step kids like step kids. In fact I have been accused by my real daughters that I treated my step girls better then them. The only reason I did was so that I could have peace in the house with their mother. After a while that proved to be a mistake. I am going to give it to you straight. Unless your husband puts his foot down with her and lets her know that you are in charge there will always be a battle. The other or real parent has to let the kids know that there is actually two sheriffs in town. He or she in my case has to let the kids know that he or she has as much or more control and say in this house as me. If that never happens then the step parent is bound to catch the devil from the kids.

Good Luck
wood

Answer 3

well yes this a slight part of puberty but this is also the stage in life when girls need to be disiplined more or they will get out of control. the disrespect, rude behavior, and later it will turn into sneeking out to be with friends and boyfriend, also grades dropping in school. you need to start now with the punishments. nip it in the bud before it goes too far. you say she is your step daughter. quite frankely it isnt your job to do this. no offense but your not the parent. what role is her father playing in this. does he see this behaivor towards you and her mother. he should do the punishing for disrepecting you and you dont have to spend your money on her at all. that is up to her mother and father. she seems to be a little spoiled. do her parents spoil her? i would definately sit down and talk with your husband about his daughters behavior before it goes to far and she causes you 2 a divorce. the reason your 11 year old doesnt act that way is the way he was raised. there must be disipline or you will have problems with your new family

Answer 4

It could be puberty or it could be that she seriously doesn't like you. I am going through the same exact thing. (as the step-daughter, not the mom) I hate my dad's new fiance. Anyway, just do the thing that my step-mom would never do a day in her life: sit down with her, and ask her whether or not she likes having you around and then ask her why. I can't say it worked on me because I hardly even let my step-mom come within 10 feet of me.

Answer 5

OH Honey, welcome to the wonderful world of raising a pre-teen. My daughter is 12 and she is the same way. Major Attitude! Some days she is soooo sweet and willing to help me out and the next...I can't get her to do anything.Their poor bodies are going through so much and their hormones are running wild.
And teenagers act "Sweet and innocent" when they want something..no matter what!
And as far as her telling her that her mom doesn't like you etc...take it from me...a step-daughter.....that is just mind games. I used that same line growing up if I didn't get my way. TRUST me that is a phase and it will past.

Stick w/ her...one day she will thank you for it. I know I did...I am the person that I am today b/c of my stepmom.....I have the best stepmother in the world!

Answer 6

I dont think it's puberty. Maybe it's just that she's upset that her father found someone eles. I never really like my step mom either. I advice you to have a family meeting. Talk out your differences. What you both could do to make things a little easier for the both of you.

Answer 7

I think it's just a hormone thing....When I was that age I did the same type of stuff to my dad and step mom, only I didn't want anything to do with either of them...It was hard, but now that I'm older things are better.....

Answer 8

yeah, its puberty.. plain ans straight, every teenager is different which explains your sons timidness....and not just that but every parent (that has a girl) knows taht girls are more "snappy"

good luck and just try your best to be a friend as well...
thats the best thing to do.. communication is a good thing to maintain, dont lose that..!!

Answer 9

hun part of it u cant change and part of it is her being a stuck up 2 faced spoiled brat!(sorry)it is true i once was a steap daughter and i took adventage of my step mom untill my dad had a talk with me and told me that she had just as much athority as he does.i thought she was so mean she was always telling me 2 do things i couldnt help but eventually i relly apprichated it !

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo luv ya!

Answer 10

Girls and moms get into it around that age and I hate to tell you, but it lasts a long time. But my mom and I are now bf.