Why would men do that???

Question

I was sexually assulted over 2 years ago and it took me years to deal with it well almost, i had relationship problems which also saw the end of a beutiful 5 years with my ex.

Ive been in a relationship since january and its wonderful, for me its a new start to a new life, even though i still have some hang ups my boyfriend is fantastic and truly loves me.

My question is and has been since that night is what was going through his head to do that to me, the police never found him and because of that i moved away.

What drives men to do such terrible things to women i dont just mean rape i mean abuse and murder as well.

I wish that i could have the chance to ask the man who did that to me myself and what he achieved in stealing a part of me that can never be replaced.

Answer 1

As a man, apologies to you, sister. I believe it's all about control, and the Dark side that lies in us all, to a greater or lesser degree. Some man saw you, believed he could overpower you, and take what he wanted. Without a strong sense of control over ourselves, are we not animals? Do dogs go through a dating ritual before mating? Of course not. Testosterone got the better of the S.O.B. who did this to you, his conscience didn't shout loud enough, and he believed he could get away with it.
I hope the police do find him, and he is put where he is unable to do this, ever again. My wife, as a young girl of nine, was axe-attacked by a double-murderer and left for dead. If anyone else did anything to her, the law could deal with them, then I would.

Answer 2

I'm so so sorry...

I don't know why men do it either. I guess there's just some questions that can't be answered. But I wish you all the best and please take care of yourself. It's NOT your fault (many women end up thinking that). Some men just don't understand how deeply and emotionally that can hurt someone. Love and sex are supposed to be beautiful, passionate things, and when they are made into horrible, devastating crimes like that, it can scar that woman for her entire life. Everyone needs to be more aware of that. Try to spread awareness by doing speeches or talks if you can. Go to awareness tables and booths at carnivals or other things. Help get the word out. People will listen to you.

Good luck and always keep your chin up! :-)

Answer 3

Lots of people try and make excuses 4 people like that u know the usual things some of which can be valid it has been proven beyond doubt that the abused become abusers ! But I think also some men do it because they think they can !!!!!!!!!!!! its gives them a feeling of power. But have you had any professional counciling since this occurred ? That may help .But try and not let this piece of sh#t ruin your life if he do,s he has succeeded have you told your new guy about this assault if you are happy with the new guy maybe you should tell him before he thinks it is his fault . sorry about your past but try and remember we are not all like your attacker hope all is works out for the 2 of you

Answer 4

theres no right or wrong answer to this question. Its a difficult issue to deal with and something, im sorry to say this, that you will probably never get over. But you have to remember not all men are like this. And women can also be like this too. Many men believe that they can tell women what to do. Feminism has changed the world. More needs to be done to change peoples attitudes.

Answer 5

You seem to be trying to find a reason why this happened to you, when actually there was nothing that happened that was your fault. Who knows what dark stirrings there are in the sick, disturbed individual? Even if you knew why, it may not make sense from your point of view (how could it?). You want closure and the security of knowing that he can't get at you again. that is hard when senseless things happen and the person responsible is still out there, but most likely very far away from you.

Answer 6

Sorry to hear about your experience. Some men are creeps. Most are not though. Everywhere you go there will be men (and women) who do things that are incomprehensible.

Only a tiny infinitesimal fraction of men would ever rape a woman. There are many more men out there that would stop a rape from happening if they could.

Answer 7

Listen, anyone who would do that is not right in the head. It's beyond understanding.

I hope you have someone to talk to about this, anyone, who at anytime will listen to you. That's really important. That and realizing that not every man is like that.

I think rape is the worst crime a person can commit, because the victim has to live with the consequences. It saddens me that rapists get less time in jail than people who commit fraud.

Answer 8

i cant answer your question but i understand completely what your going through, the same happened to me in '97 and the lad i was with at the time was convinced i had 'made it up', we parted minutes later but still now even though after 9 years i am now married to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful kids there is always that night deep in the back of my mind and the one question only that person can answer, why?

i hope you find the answer to your question xxx

Answer 9

honey i sympathise with you i know what your going through the same thing happened to me when i was 14 -15 the waste of space that did it was never found so closure was never an option i am though a great believer in therapists & also councellers they are there to help tell them how you feel i still see my therapist 7 its been15years i hate to say it but you never really get over it but it gets easier to deal with but always remember that is was or never is your fault blessed be & be strong & confide in your new guy.x.my thoughts are with you...

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe you should read a couple of books on the matter - feminist stuff. there are many ideas and thoughts on that matter. I personally believe that many men have complexes - be it about their power-status or deep psychological dementia. There are many factors, and the answer is not that simple.