I have a problem with my daughter...?

Question

My daughter Is 13 years old. I have heard her...blech mas+urba+e
late into the night, and i have looked at online history and i see alot of p0rn on there. She is an only child, and i was wondering wether this is a phase? Will it pass? Or should i talk to her? I mean I know young boys Mas+urba+e at this age but girls? I don't know what she does, but you can tell by the noises coming from her bedroom... She has only been Doin it this past year and the year before, But i am getting concerned That this will be a problem. I don't want her to look at p0rn, so are there anyways to stop her from looking at it (other then blocking sites)?? thank you soooo much for any help.

Answer 1

Masturbating at 13 for a girl is absolutely normal. Even earlier. Making sounds loud enough for you to hear is not right. Watching pornography, especially regularly, is not right (once out of curiosity is normal). You have to talk to her without having any doubts that you are within your rights, even if she tries to be defiant and say that you are invading her privacy. Tell her that you think that masturbating is normal but very private and should not be done in a way that others are aware that it is happening. Ignore her if she deines that she does it. As for pornography, go ahead AND BLOCK THE SITES. Why do you not want to do this? She's 13. Pornography totally debases women and will damage her self-esteem, her respect for her body, and her understanding of sex as an expression of equal pleasuring and love making.

Answer 2

Masturbaiting.... wel Most teenagers do this. I doubt it will get into anything serious. And it's not always boys like you say. Most girls masturbate aswel,but usually (both the girls and guys) keep the sound down so the parents won't know.

As for the pornography.That could become a problem. I suggest you take the computer out of her room, approach her about it, or get some sort of child protection program that blocks out pornography. You really need to do something about this.

Like I said, the masturbaiting is normal for teenagers and single people. But you CANNOT let her look at pornography. It needs to be stopped. She could become so desperate for what shes looking at on the internet that she could make some big mistakes in life.

Answer 3

It's very clear to me that you are not really comfortable with the situation and, if you're anything like most parents, not too keen on the idea of your child EVER having sex - even after she has hit adulthood. We can all, grudgingly, agree that young people exploring their bodies is natural. What we can't accept is that boys and girls are becoming sexually active, at younger ages, every generation. Yes it's natural for her to be touching herself, checking things out, finding out how her 'parts' work and learning to accept her body but her advanced behavior may be harmful. In my case, I started masturbating at the age of 15. The 'first time' concluded with a feeling that I had broken something internally and would probably get very sick and possibly die (ok, I was very sheltered and a little repressed). After a week or so it was clear that I wasn't going to die anytime soon, so I tried it again. thus began the road to an (confession here) addiction to sex and pornography. I have to have it almost every day (sometimes two or three times a day). Most guys would claim bragging points right about now - but I'm 42 years old and trying to do some honest sharing. It sometimes seems that there is no one who can
'please' me better than I can please myself. Yes this has created problems in my relationships.
Many people have tried to justify the premature sexuality of our young people as natural. Some blame it on a permissive society that has abandoned the morals of our predecessors. Some blame it on the constant barrage of sexual imagery coming from all commercial-art industries. Still others (and this one will keep you awake for a couple hours) blame it on the milk and meat from cows that have been given growth hormones (hormones cause cows, and other 'meat' animals to grow and mature at a faster rate AND give milk all year round - highly unnatural). We'll probably never know the real answer.
My suggestion to you is to take her to a psychologist (sorry - Therapist...and NOT yours) which will give her a chance to open up to someone unbiased, someone who will not judge her, someone who she will not have to hide her face from the next morning and someone who is not in her peer group (who is just as hypersexed). You don't have to tell her the reason why (for practical reasons: could'nt we all use a little therapy once in a while?). If you need a reality check, here it is: Fourteen is now the average age a kid will have their first encounter; the number of girls who give birth before they graduate (if they graduate) is increasing exponentially; there is a current trend where teenage males earn 'cool' points by bragging about the number of children they have fathered; many girls are trying to get their first time 'over with' because most of their male counterparts are seeking girls with more experience (aka a 'freak'); young people are engaging in risky, advanced forms of sex - sometimes under the influence of drugs or alcohol and, often, without protection.
If you and she had a relationship where you could have an open discussion about sex, and it would be a wonderful thing if you did, you'll really have distance yourself from those 'forbidding parent' that will try to push through. Some constructive wording will be necessary. You're going to have to talk to her as an 'understanding' adult AND a parent - without being too 'preachy'. Ask questions (your questions for her will have to be a little softer and 'non-confrontational - but you have to ask. What good is listening if she's not talking?) Remember this: she's YOUR daughter and it's your responsibility to raise her to be a whole, happy and healthy adult, emotionally strong with a sense of pride and self esteem. Lastly, let her know that you love her, and always will - no matter what.
I kinda wish that someone had seen the signs and intervened in my case. BTW, thanks for being a nosy parent - you are a dying breed.

Answer 4

Well boys and girls both masturbate and this is a normal thing . However, sit down and talk with her no matter how uncomfortable it is for you. And for her. But talk about this is a challenge that all parents must face at some point or another. As for the porn stop it now!!!!! I think the porn thing is her way of trying to learn about sex and not having to talk with you about it. Kids these days are much more sophisticated than I was growing up. The have much more access to things that we wouldn't ever want them to see !!! If her computer is in her bedroom remove it and place it some where out in the open. Talk to her and talk openly maybe she will open up to u as well. Good Luck

Answer 5

Don't discourage her from masterbation. That is a natural thing in many people. 13 is about the time she will start to discover her body and she is becoming a sexual person now that her hormones are coming into play. Try to confront her about the porn on the computer. Not in a confontational way, it will only embarass her. Have a sex talk with her about everything, and be as open as you can. Answer any and all questions in a non-judgemental way. If she feels she is being condemend, no matter what your feeling on masterbation or porn is, it could make her feel that what she is doing is wrong. It can turn into a hidden obsession or addiction if she feels it is a bad thing to do. While porn is not necessarily made for teens, curiosity about sex, especially at that age is natural and finding porn online is easy. You can go in and put all the parental blocks on it that you find necessary, but its more important to talk to her and get her opinion on sex. She is curious and trying to explore and see what it is all about. Its normal and natural. But you need to explain to her the consequences of havnig sex and explain how its important to wait. You shouldnt be embarassed, most parents dont talk to their kids about sex and they end up grandparents before their kids graduates high school.

Just remember everyone has a different curiosity about sex. This is how she is finding out about it. If you notice what she is looking at is BDSM or extreme sex acts, then you should be concerned. But if it is just normal sexual content (I know that sounds odd) but nothing out of the ordinary, dont get too upset. Sex is in their faces every day on TV, magazines, movies, radio...everything so how can they avoid it??? The important thing is to talk to her and no matter what your feeling on the subject is, you need to find out how she feels and what her questions are. If you feel that she cant open up to you, or if she would be more comfortable and she has someone she is close to, like an aunt or cousin or someone that is close to you and can answer her questions with out being embarassed, you can go that route too. But dont go dragging her off to a shrink and tell her what she is doing is bad.

Just remember...this is normal. We all do it or have done it. Some start at different ages. I hope this helps some and calms your nerves and puts you more at ease. Just confront it now before she gets older and lets it potentially become a sexual addiction or obsession because she is curious and has to fulfill the curiosity. I know its hard thinking about your daughter as a sexual being, but she is human, just as you are and she is entering the age of sexual curiosity.

Answer 6

wow this is kind of an embarrising situation, im only 16 but i suggest talking to her about it even tho it would be hard for you and her at the same time but how will you get out what you feel about her doing these. just becuz boys are masturbating at this age doesnt mean girls arnt going to do it either. its a fact of life when you get older you feel more ready to start exploring you body its normal i guess....but i suggest bringing the subject up to her and see what she says but dont acuse her of anything cuz that might ruin a perfect secure relationship you 2 might already have. thats what i think you should do but its whatever makes you and your daughter feel comfortable...good luck

Answer 7

there is nothing u can do about stopping her from this. I mean u can get help but at that age she is being exposed to so much in today's society and u can block off anything online but it's what her eyes see and ears hear in the streets keep watch on her because she's there

Answer 8

Normal, 41yr old father of 3 daughters @ 1 son ages 21, 19,14 @ 12, All humans are sexual beings and its normal @ natural.

Answer 9

well...i think its normal. But yeah too much of it i think might get her to develop(grow up too quick). She might have more advanced ideas in the future. Are you sure she's masturbating? what if she's with a guy and you haven't even checked. No offense or anything. But yeah i suggest you talk to her about it. Tell her good and bad things to future things....you know...well hope this help...good luck

Answer 10

you sld talk to her. U needto stop her from looking at the porn before it escalates. Well most teens mataurbate. But there's a limit it sisn't somethign she sld be engaging in constantly. JUst try to talk ot her and she wah she has to say and ey maybe cld try to allevviate the porblem.