My parents got a divorce when i was 2 and my dad is getting remarried now that i'm 14 and i honestly don't want him to i mean before my dad met her he was all mine and now all he ever does is stay with debbie (i mean even on fathers day i called and called and called and he still hasn't called me back!!) am i being selfish??? and debbie has a daughter and i am the only child on my dads side and i don't want that to change!!! plzzzz help his wedding is in just 3 monthes!!!
2006-06-21 11:43:31 · 9 answers · asked by Linz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One of the best things you can do is to show him your question. Tell him you asked for help and received the advice to do that... it will give you a good starting point for an important conversation that you need to have with him before he gets married.
If he is getting married soon, I am sure it's easy for him to get caught up in all the business of life, swept away by organizing the wedding, giving time to his bride-to-be, and continuing with his work or whatever else he has going on... and unfortunately, that means you are temporarily getting short-changed, and that hurts. He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it, he just has to make time somewhere and the time taken from you is one of the places he's doing that, consciously or not.
That doesn't make it right, and that's why you need to talk to him. Open the lines of communication. He is going to live his life, and it's important that he do that and go ahead with his marriage plans. Likewise, you will need to accept his wife and her daughter as best you can. I know how hard it is, my father remarried when I was sixteen and there were four kids in the house, my brother and I and two of my stepmother's kids. Not an easy transition!
I feel for you. Hang in there! Communicate with your father, and also find someone close to confide in about all of this (preferably not your mother, she's too close to the situation)... a friend, an aunt, someone you trust. Good luck and be well!
2006-06-21 11:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by JStrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being just a little selfish. Sorry! Your dad needs the company of an adult woman and deserves it. My parents divorced when I was 14 and my dad married a woman who's my age. I hated it but the only way to have your father is to get along with your new family. If you try he will try, if you start grief, Debbie will keep you away. Your life will continually change and there will be situations you won't like but you have to take the good with the bad and make the best of it.
2006-06-21 11:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by SoulFly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can honestly tell you that your feelings are totally normal. Just try to breathe and say to yourself..."Everything is going to be alright" over and over and over. To get your mind straight you have to repeat things to yourself like that. Say it as many times as you need to. This is a technique that some therapists use. It's called erase and replace. I'm sure debbie's daughter feels the same way that you do. Just try to remember to keep any negative feelings that are hurtful to others to yourself. You can always change your thoughts but once you SAY something you can't take it back. Try to relax and think positively. A positive attitude is your greatest strength in a situation like this. After my mom passed away I had a very hard time seeing my dad date and bring women home and I was 16. So I totally understand.
2006-06-21 12:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by myjamsandwich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your father is being selfish if he didn't even answer the phone on Father's Day. However, everyone deserves happiness and you should not get in the way of happiness (unless this women is the evil stepmother) What I would suggest is that you ask your dad if the two of you can go out to dinner some night and you can talk your problems out because no one else is going to solve them for you.
2006-06-21 11:49:48 · answer #4 · answered by pumkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're dad should be paying attention to you a little more than this lady. But it sounds like he loves her and her kid...you're not being all that selfish, cause you just want to spend more time with you dad.
You should go out together, have a father/daughter day and just talk to him, about how you've been feeling.
2006-06-21 11:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to seriously sit and talk to your dad one on one and tell him how you feel honestly! make sure he knows what things are bothering you, that way he knows how you feel. it is wrong for you to not want them to get married, you should want your dad to be happy, but i understand the whole neglecting thing on your dads part. if you realy love your dad find a way to get a hold of him and talk to him about everything that concerns you.
2006-06-21 11:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should tell your dad how you feel but you should also give the woman a chance especialy if your dad realy loves her i mean my stepdad has 7 kids by another woman before my mom
but you learn to live with it and it has its benifits
2006-06-21 11:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself..is your dad happy? He is still your dad and you will always be his daughter no matter who he is with.
It sounds like you are not ready to share him with anyone.
Do you like this lady who he is going to marry?
2006-06-21 11:50:46 · answer #8 · answered by Catscraddle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to let your dad know what your feeling and tell your mom, if they are still communicating with each other then she can also tell him how you feel about everything.
2006-06-21 11:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by dari98dae99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋