Please, my friend was raped recently, and she is started to get worried about the upcoming trial. She thinks she will be emotionally damaged if she has to face her attacker.
Has anyone had to do this? Was it a time of closure, or did it rip open emotional wounds? I need to be there for her with encouragement.
2006-06-21 11:30:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She needs to do this. This part is going to be the closure she needs. If she does not he can go free and rape someone again. I know thats not what she really wants. Continue to be a great friend to her and remind her that what that POS did is not her fault. It will not be easy looking him in the eye but she needs to let him see that he may have raped her but he didnt take her spirit away. Please tell her I will pray for her and good luck from me.
2006-06-21 11:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by sonione 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not say that I have ever had to do this before~because I have never been raped, or been in this type of situation~I do believe that YES this will open wounds for her~and at this point in time~will be very traumatizing, however, I would also think that this would be a type of closer for her~to face her fears~in which this case would be this person~the best I could say to you, is no matter what don't try to answer her or have an opinion on this situation, unless you have gone through it yourself~just make sure you listen to everything she has to say~or just be there for when she needs to sit in silence~hold her hand and let her know, no matter what this is NOT her fault!!! Nothing that she could have done different would have ever changed what happened~she will probably need counseling after this is over w/court if not before~it is better to talk than be in silence~I wish her the best of luck, and pray everything turns out!!!! Good Luck to you both!!!
2006-06-21 18:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by click 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was interviewed over three weeks by the police and the crown about abuse I suffered.
I was to young when it happened and I was told because of my history I would not be a credible witness. They told me this after hours and hours of videotaped interviews. To what end I will never know.
I faced my attacker in his living room. I explained to him I remembered everything and told him the fact that I had children was why he was still alive.
This will rip her up. It still tears me up. If her attacker is convicted in my mind it will be a small victory. Nothing he did to her will ever go away. She will learn to live with it, but it will always be there.
I hope she gets some counseling so she can get beyond being a victim and become a victor.
My advice, support her. Be her friend. Tell her the fact that she can face a coward like the scum that hurt her demonstrates that she cares about the danger this guy represents and she will be responsible for protecting other women by facing him in court.
Tell her everyone who has ever been raped is behind her, I know I am.
2006-06-23 11:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this counts, but because the man died three months after the rape in a swimming accident, I did not face him, but faced his whole family and the congregation in church where I was excommunicated. In their eyes I was guilty. I was also still in high school and had never been with anyone before.
Even the police seemed to be skeptical about it and I did not get support from them either. Their persuasion was not to prosocute.
Since then attitudes have changed toward rape victims and this guy should be forced to pay for that awful crime. Your friend will feel so much better about herself when she is exonerated. If she doesn't go through with it she will face a lot of self loathing, anger and shame, not to mention how her reputation will be destroyed.
I am glad to know there is someone who will stand beside her through this ordeal whatever she chooses.
2006-06-21 18:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Madeamove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry it has happened to your friend, I hope she'll recover soon. She needs everyone's support, encouragement and care more than ever before.
To be honest with you, if she'll come to court and no matter how painfull it will be sitting there and testifying against him (what happened to her might be discussed openly in front of everyone), she'll be able to show him that even though he did that ugly act towards her, she's still standing tall and holds her head upright and show him that he won't get away with it no matter what. Ask her attorney to talk to her and guide her through the court procedings, questions, answers, and HER RIGHTS, this way she won't become a victim of scrutiny and ugly looks towards her.
I love and respect all humans, but people like him... I hope they won't let him walk and let him out of the prison for a very long time, because that kind of treatment just shows that he's disrespectfull to everyone else especially women.
Best of luck to you and your friend in court. Just think positively that it'll work out and you'll win this case. A Judge will be a fool if he'll let that jerk walk away from this. Please let us know how it went and worked out. We're all here for you whenever you'll need us.
2006-06-21 18:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by tiger_pisces7483 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was never actually raped but I came close enough to it that it effected me. It was hard when I saw the guy for the first time after it happened. I wanted to cry but I didn't let him see that and after I saw him I felt better about myself, plus the fact that my friends gave him H***. Just sit by her. It will be hard for her but in the end she will know that he is behind bars and can't hurt her or any one else ever again.
2006-06-21 18:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by sexylilgirl_idealmgf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way I did. My ex-husband was physically abusive to me and I had to face him in divorce court. It is very emotional. I am glad you are willing to help her because she will need it. I don't know that it will be closure but it will stop him from doing to another.
2006-06-21 18:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have never been rape but almost thank god 4 my big brother who dealt with d matter. i may not know what u r goin through fully but i hav a idea dear make sure u send that asshole to jail i hate them suckers this your nightmare dear but dont b afraid will get rid of him once n 4 all. stand up n b bold. those so called male r perverts
2006-06-21 18:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would be closure if he was convicted. It would make me feel better that he isn't getting away with it and it will be on his record forever.
but if he is found innocent I would be emotionally damaged...but im sure she'll be ok
2006-06-21 18:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No fortunately for me I have never been raped and I thank god for that
2006-06-21 18:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by Hot KC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋