is they're anyone out there that has the same problem as me?

Question

over the past few years i have slowly lost the desire to have sex with my wife.
so a few months ago i asked my wife if she would have sex with other men.at first she thought i was crazy.but after we started talking more about we both realized i started to become excited about the idea of it.each and every time we talk about it,i can visualize her having sex with other men,and it just turns me on.she can see what it is doing to me,and now she doesn't beleive i am crazy anymore.i feel since i cannot supply the sex in our marriage,that i would be using these other men as the tool to satisfying my wifes need for sex.she is very unsure of what to do,but,is willing to try it,if it will help me/us in the long run to have the sex that i desire to have with my wife.i don't have any desires to have sex with other women.i only want to have my desires back,and hope/wish that knowing other men are not only desiring my wife,but,in fact are having sex with my wife will put the desire back into me.

Answer 1

Two's company.........three's a crowd. Don't force her to stray outside of her marriage.....see a doctor, role play, watch porn, but keep it between the two of you!

Answer 2

Well, from experience I can say..YES it will work and it does work on many different levels.
IF and only if your wife is in agreement and there are no issues of jealousy between the two of you, it will work perfectly ok. Often times, the site of another man craving what is yours, has a tendency to create your own desire to step back up, primarily because it IS yours.
A word of caution: If there have ever been any jealous tendencies between the two of you for any reason, DO NOT DO IT!
In the event that you are able to establish one playmate that you both trust, it may be more beneficial to you as well.
While it is possible that Viagra may help you "get it up" I sense that may not be the actual problem. What so many people fail to recognize is that it's not the physical but often the mental that drives passion.
So- be sure your relationship can handle it. set boundaries that you are both comfortable with. And give it whirl.
You may find that initially, you will want to participate as the main player with another man as a third and after he has left the scene all together for the evening that you and your wife may very well have the best sex either have youhave had in some time.
Good Luck and Have fun!

Answer 3

Not that I can speak from experience, but I am not sure the solution you propose will be a healthy one for the relationship. Considering the fact that your wife was not 100% on board, you might want to think about a few other ways to asses the situation.

I would recommend visiting with your doctor on why your sex drive is in decline. There could be a chemical/hormonal imbalance that could be impacting your desire for sex. Are you stressed and tired from work?

I think that there could be a number of reasons to explore the decline yin your sex drive before you bring another man into your situation.

Again, I can not say I face the same challenge, but would encourage you to seek out other alternatives to bringing the passion and sex back to the relationship with your wife.

I hope this helps!

Answer 4

I can't even believe that you would even want anyone touching your wife so you can get your desire for sex back. There are others ways of doing that! Have you even bothered to look at other alternatives? Why does it have to be your wife have sex with another man. How do you know one of these men won't fall for your wife or maybe they have a disease.

Why don't you get checked out by a Dr. and see if there is anything medically wrong with you. Ask your Dr. to suggest things to you. Look on the internet and look at porn sites if you have to.

Try anything before resorting to that. I hope in the long run your wife backs down and doesn't do anything as foolish as that.

Answer 5

STOP!! Wait. Is this all about desire or sex??? How's your health. Do you realize that most men go through this between the ages of 35 to 45?? Don't surrender your wife to another man. She's yours. Maybe this is less psychological and more physical. Have you gained weight? Does it hurt to pee? Do you pee a lot? Do you feel tired in the middle of the day? Are you loosing your hair? See what I'm getting at here? If you have any of these symptoms then have a check up and then mention to your doctor than you could use a little get up and go in your marriage. Don't be embarrassed please. It's for your wife.

Answer 6

Infidelity is not the answer to solving this problem. It will get old and eventually you won't be turned on by that anymore either. You're probably experiencing some kind of depression and need to look into healthier living. Check into some vitamins and do talk to your doctor. Your testosterone level is low because you could have diabetes! That's one of the signs of loss of sex drive.
Do you chew alot of gum or eat mints? I have read that eucalyptus can cause problems in men. Also smoking will and what are you eating? Your lacking something in your diet and most and likely need a detox. Are you bloating in the mid section? Are you urinating alot more than you use to, like in the middle of the night?
Go see your doctor because when a mans sex drive is low, something else is wrong which is causing it.

Answer 7

It might put the desire back in you, but also creates the risk of losing your wife to another. Is this a risk worth taking......sounds like just the fantasy of this is helping you, so why not just stick with the fantasy? The reason I stated the risk is because I know of a couple that did this and lo and behold she started having an affair and guess what happened next??? No more husband!

Answer 8

You said that you don't have any desires to have sex with other women but you never said you didn't desire to have sex with any one else at all. If it turns you on imagining some guy banging your wife but not you banging her then maybe what really is turning you on is the guy. Whats really going on here. I think you need to sit back and analyze the situation a bit more. And your true desires. Or maybe this is just a plan to end the relationship. Its easier to let go of someone if you see them with someone else.

Answer 9

I really think y'all should try some role playing first...maybe meet up at the local sleaze motel...something. Buy a dildo and use that on her...something. Just do not bring an actual other person in..that will only have negative effects on your marriage. Plus it sounds like you really want to please your wife, you just need a lil spice to get it going again...so I say visit your local sex toy shop..pick up some new fun things and then see how things go. I really think role playing will help..Or if its the idea of other men watching your wife get off...do it in front of the window with all the lights on.....it'll be like you're putting her on stage...very erotic!

Answer 10

If you have lost desire for sex with your wife maybe you go talk to your doctor.Your wife having sex with other men is not right and could cause problems down the road in your relationship.Your wife may end up having feelings for the person she is having sex with and you may end up getting hurt in the end.So talk to a doc and see if he or she can help.

Answer 11

I think you don't realize what you saying:)
You said you don't have desire to have sex with "your wife" ..not in general!
It looks like you want her to have sex with other guy so you can blame her later and walk away from relationship.
Believe me if you are not intimate with her she will find another guy for sure even w/out your approval.I know my answer not helping you but I'm just saying your question doesn't make any sense it's sounds like you hiding something.