Does anyone else suffer from Literalism? I read the literal meaning in words not the intended meaning.?

Question

Here are some classic examples.
"He opened the door in his dressing gown." Why would there be a door in his dressing gown?
"When you have have finished using the teapot stand upside down on the draining board." I can't sit on it let alone do handstands.
"This door is alarmed." What is so scary that it can frighten a door?"
"Time flies" Why? I don't care about the speed of insects.
Any other "Literalists" got any examples?

Answer 1

I don't suffer from it, I laugh and enjoy it completely.

Answer 2

Biblical literalism all started with Martin Luther and hit that is intense factor close to the end of the nineteenth century. interpreting the Bible from a literal point of view, hence, is going adverse to each and each and every of the individuals who compiled it contained in the first position. Jesus himself describes the Torah and Jonah as metaphor and parable, yet yay-hoo's that say that they save on jointly with his teachings nevertheless attempt to study Genesis as no matter if that is really historic previous. form of humorous when you consider that Jesus not in any respect concept that it became traditionally precise or literal.

Answer 3

How do you feel? With my hands.
Do you know what time it is? Yes.
Can I have some of the pie. Maybe, is your jaw functional?
Would you like peas or corn for dinner. Yes.
Where is the shampoo? In a bottle marked, Shampoo.
Have you fed the cat? Yes. I think it was a Thursday.
Does anyone know how to fix my computer? Yes, I'm sure someone does.
Have you seen my keys? Yes. (slept on the couch for that one)
We never go out to eat! I beg to differ; I took you out four months ago for your Birthday. (Did allot of begging that night)
Honey, do you enjoy sleeping on the couch? *silence*
Even someone who suffers from literalism can figure out the answer to that one.

Answer 4

This is the best, but it only works with British English, Americans might not understand both the intended and (unintentionally funny) misconstrued meanings: "Refuse to be put in this bin."

Answer 5

I usually see the funny side of such things.

Consider, "Jimmy, you've grown another foot since I saw you last."

Then there are all the wonderful idioms in the English language, including:

It's raining cats and dogs.
Don't set the world on fire.
A house divided against itself cannot stand.
A leopard can't change its spots.

This link is fun.

Answer 6

My mum says:

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like bananas.

"Refuse to be put in this bin" above really made me laugh. I am generally quite good at seeing funny meanings.

Answer 7

i dont know if you are being serious or not but autistic people take things literally
one of my daughters has a degree of autisim and wanted to go to somerfield (because it is summer)

she once put on her winter school dress and i hadnt got any blouses that she needed to wear with it (someone had only just given me the dresses for her)
i told her she needed to put something else on so she did she put her summer school dress on on top of her winter one (something else not something different)

i dcant call her a sweetiepie or clever cookie etc as she says she is not to be eaten

Answer 8

I think Groucho Marx said it best in Animal Crackers when he stated "Then I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my pajamas I'll never know."

Answer 9

YOU aren't suffering from Literalism. You are suffering from the imprecise meanings of others. I should know. I'm one of you.

Answer 10

sometimes my gran watches the tv, hears something and says that's not gramatically correct. like "the black ladys gloves" - is the lady black or are the gloves black? or "the scared dogs owner" - is the dog scared or the owner?
it's so bad i even catch myself doing it now!!