is it bad that my Boyfriend works 12 hrs a day but I stay home and do nothing???

Question

does anyone else have this problem? I feel so guilty all the time. he works so hard for us to have nice things but I dont do anything.... is this wrong?

we dont have kids, but I look after everything else!(cooking cleaning....)

Answer 1

my husband works alot too plus he works night shift for awhile i lost my job and he told me to take time off or not work at all anymore i kept my house very clean and cooked everynight and like the others said before just catered to him i got bored after a while now i work a part time job and still keep up with my wifely duties soi'd say now were equal if its not causing a prob for u to stay home then try takin on a pt time job or selling stuff like mary kay or stuff like that just make sure u keep da house clean and show how greatful u are

Answer 2

You shouldn't feel bad. Let me say why. Before my wife felt bad because I was running the business myself. She would clean and cook. When I came home, I knew I had peace of mind because our home team as one would say, was brill.

Now, one day, I found out from my sister, she was feeling same way you was feeling. So I sat her down, and we talked, not in a bad way but talked because she's my wife. I didn't want her to feel this way.

I said that without her doing what she did, I wouldn't have had the peace of mind to go out in the world and fight to pay the bills and make the business work. But I also said, "I would love it if you would be with me, running the business. You can even run it from home love, help me with the phone calls, the clients, and help me build the business, together."

When her eyes lit up, I knew, that is what she wanted, and because of her, my business went big. Because she had people skills, organisational skills, she could communicate well and I find women are great in business but it also brought us even together more.

Now, I understand you boyfriend is in a job and you're not. Maybe run a business from home. Or even do a part time job if it makes YOU feel better. Talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels, but remember, doesn;'t mean if he says no, that you don't do it. Life is for living and there's so much out there for you.

His job is there but jobs are not permanent. Never will be. So mayb run a business, part time, something you enjoy and something which can grow over the years.

Talk to your boyfriend first, communicate with him about your feelings is very important. You never know. He might be feeling same thing or not. But at least you have grown and so has he, in communicating your feelings to each other.

Last thing you want to do, is assume he is feeling anything without having a talk.

Answer 3

Is there something that is stopping you from getting a job? I think that if there really is guilt involved than you would go out and get a job; but if not, just worry about keeping the house clean and meals on the table for him. Perhaps you should find something to keep your mind occupied so that you don't have such depressing thoughts (charity work, etc.). Don't worry so much, just be happy that you have a husband that is willing to take care of you, he must really want this or else he would ask you about getting a job.

Answer 4

When I first got my 12 hour shift job it bothered the heck out of me that my wife sat around all day and did not have a job. after some convincing and list of things to do around the house was made and now she does house work for part of the day. doesn't need to be a lot to look like you did anything. maybe 2 hours or something of picking up and doing laundry. it makes a world of difference to me and the house. now i don't have to come home and start in on choirs when i get home from work

Answer 5

I'd consider a hobby, but more over, a volunteer opportunity. That way, if you do want to work in the future, you have something to show your future employers that you've been doing for the last couple years.

I had a couple of children, and did feel very guilty also staying home and doing "nothing". But in reality, I was doing quite a bit. In our society, if you aren't bringing home the bacon, your considered a nobody and no good. So do something good for yourself and your community! Your either growing or dying, there's no inbetween!

Answer 6

I assume you at least take care of all the housework, cook him dinner, do his laundry, and cater to him when he is at home? If so, then no. But if you feel guilty, get a part time job to get out of the house and make a little cash for yourself. I'm sure the bf wouldn't mind extra money!

Answer 7

IF you actually stay home and "DO NOTHING", litterally, then you should feel guilty. My wife stays home, but she is far from doing nothing. She keeps the house clean, she fixes me dinner almost every night, she does the laundry, she creates things for the house and yard, does landscape, builds things, so she is very busy. Staying home is not a bad thing, unless you actually DO NOTHING.

Answer 8

Then why don't you get off the computer and go get a job??? Do you have a disability? Is there some reason why you are not working? If you simply choose not to, yea, I would feel bad if I were you.
Or, is it that you have kids? I choose to work for a living so I can pay for all the welfare moms who keep popping out kids for a living and it infuriates me!

Answer 9

No. It sounds like he is trying to make a living. To get rid of your guilt, be a good homemaker. My husband works and I take care of everything else. I take care of cleaning the house, laundry, yard work, etc. And don't say that's a bad trade off. My work load takes me at least 8 hours per day and when my husband comes home, he likes it.

Answer 10

You should not feel bad because my guess is you keep the house clean, you cook the meals, you do the laundry, the grocery shopping, and all the other million little things that need to be done to run a house? Am I right?