Ok Gay people is it a choice or are you born this way?

Question

Seriosuly I asked the straight folks and they mostly said it's a choice. I think it is. You choose to be with who makes you comfortable. To me to be born with something is to say one can never change it thier entire life. I can't change the fact that I'm black ever. Some people date women thier until mid 30's and then ohh I'm gay and vice versa. I can say I was born black and I can't change but when it comes to dating of course it's a choice I choose women, and you choose who you choose. It's not forced on you so it's a choice right? I just want to be done with this question. You are Gay becasue you want to be if people don't agree whatever theres people that don't agree with me dating white girls so disaprroving families is nothing new. People don't agree with alot of things but I cant stand the excuse I was born this way and I can't help it. Thats like me saying I was born black so I can't help commiting crimes or something stupid. It's not true I make my own choices so do you right

Yes I choose to be straight. As far as I can remember I was always sneaking kisses under the Big Toys in Grade school

From girls

Straight people ask because we don't know it's not something we deal with. It seems like a choice in our minds. So why not ask but as far as I'm concerned whatever man you gonna take shots at me for asking. To me Being black is something I couldn't choose, my attraction is. I don't hold my Blackness in the same categoery as some one who is Gay. No way.

Whats up with the sermon? I'm not gay

Answer 1

Well, yes... Um... I am gay so...

I don't believe I was born anything, hell, I don't believe any of us are born straight or gay. When you are first born you aren't attracted to men or women, something happens along the way that may cause attraction to either sex. It is not a person's choice to be gay or straight, something during your life may have caused you to go either way.

I myself had sexual encounters with both men and women, from an early age. So, in that I discovered that being attracted to a guy wasn't all bad. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it because a man is a person. Just as much as a woman, a man could physically and emotionally effect me in such a way that attracted me to them. As time moved on, girls started to bore me... For some reason or other. I've never had a boyfriend or anything but I've had many girlfriends, in which I never felt that drive to have sex with them. So... my... relationships didn't last.

So... well... I believe it is neither.

You aren't born gay and it isn't a choice. Something just happens along the way, not something bad really... Some people are just more open to different ideas, these people who are open risk becoming gay or considered "odd" ... They can't help but move against the norm, for they are not normal. And there is nothing wrong with that in the least.

Answer 2

I'm bisexual, so I f*ck the whole thing up.

I never choose to be bi. I never choose what kinds of things I find attractive. I never made a choice to like both women and men. I've just been me for my entire life, and when I was older, bisexual became the most correct label for what I've always been.

Now, I can choose who to date. I choose to date both men and women. Right now I'm with a woman, but I was with a man for three years before her. That I can choose. But I can't choose who I find attractive.

Now just to make it MORE complicated - I could marry a man and be with him forever. And I would STILL be bisexual. It doesn't matter who you date or what you do. Your sexual orientation is not an action, it is a state of being. You can never ever ever even touch another man and still be gay. You can be in a 50 year long lesbian relationship and still be bi. It is something that is internal, not external. That is how bisexuality tends to f*ck with everything - for bisexuals there is no black and white answer, no neat little package of nature or nurture. If we can choose to date women and men, then so could you... so in that way, everyone becomes bisexual. But we also screw with the idea that sexual orientation is strictly genetic.

Now, leaving me and mine out of it. Notice the answers you get here. Almost every gay person is going to tell you that they didn't choose a damn thing (because someone asks this question every day and it always goes down the exact same way). Now either 1) Gay people as a group are all too stupid to know their own feelings and are collectively deluded or 2) They know what they are talking about. Ask yourself why you would believe someone who doesn't live the experiance over someone who does. Would you believe a white person if they told you that racism doesn't exist anymore? Would you believe a rich person who said that all poor people are lazy? Or would you believe the persons whose actual life it is? Think about that as you watch the answers roll in.

Answer 3

What you are saying is kinda true, but mostly not. For instance I can choose who I date, but I can by no means choose who I fall in love with. If it was a choice wouldn't people choose the easier path and be strait? Do u honestly think that anyone wants the kind of "negative" attention we get. Saying that it is a choice is simply not true. It's no different that being born a man or a woman.

I would like to offer myself as proof. I knew I was different when I was about 9. I was strangely attracted to the same gender? Hearing all of the negative remarks about gay people I of course thought it was wrong. I tried EVERYTHING to change for about 4 and 1/2 years. I tried to force myself to be attracted to women. I would do everything I could to avoid looking at men. Until finally I was old enough to understand. I finally decided to change and now I accept myself and I am actually quite happy. It is passable to not be gay I guess but it's a horribly way to live, your constantly fighting yourself. I believe that love is love, no matter who it's between.

BTW...
I wasn't suicidal or anywhere close, but I would like to take this time to point out that 1-5% of the population is bi or gay. Yet over 30% of TEEN suicides are related to being bi or gay, surely these thousands of kids would simply just rather change?

Answer 4

The number of gay people who change to straight later in life is a TON smaller than the number of straight people who change to gay later. That alone should say something about the biological influence of preference. Why would more people choose a lifestyle that's so much more difficult and persecuted unless there were something deeper compelling them? If it's just choice, what explains the way attraction is mapped more similarly in gay men's and straight women's brains than in gay men's and straight men's brains? Why do scientists generally agree that biology is a major determining factor in most human behavioral traits? I'll admit, I could choose to be straight. But would it make me as happy? Been there, done that, tried it, and never went back.

I'd suggest, in the future, that maybe you should ask questions that you don't plan on answering yourself in the question's subtext. Ask the question to learn something new, not to tell people that they're wrong. That's the purpose of this site.

Answer 5

Born

Answer 6

Just like many others have stated - BORN and choose to be myself instead of trying to contain my feelings/emotions/ true self..... Which by the way if I hadn't finally accepted myself I'd be very miserable. I think if I had a choice at birth I would've chosen to be "normal" and have all the rights to love and marriage that str8 people do. That's what I would have chosen at a younger age, now I would have to think long and hard about it, cuz I am who I am and that is NOT a bad thing, so I'd most likely stay just the way I am.

Answer 7

It's really funny. All the heterosexual folks say being homosexual is a choice. While all the homosexual folks keep telling them it's NOT a choice - were born that way. Now, when we ask the heteros if being Heterosexual is a choice they say no were born that way. So how come someone can be born hetero but not homo? What proof do you freakin straight people have that says NO HOMO is born gay...but we are born straight!

To answer this question, AGAIN - WE ARE BORN HOMOSEXUAL....for the love of God get that into you freakin thick heads.

ADD ON:
Congrats to Juila - she has finally got it. Yes, you can control your behavior....AMEN!

Answer 8

Oh dear, you really did yourself in with this one...

If you feel in love with the dorkiest girl in the world, you would hate it, but you wouldn't be able to prevent it. Maybe it wouldn't happen to you, but if it did, you wouldn't be able to change that it's how you feel.

You say that you chose to be straight, which means that it's possible for you to be gay, right? It must be if it's a choice we make at some point in life. So could you make yourself gay? No, I don't think you could. Maybe if you went through some traumatising event that changed your life, but otherwise, I don't think you could make that decision.

Gay people, most of the time, were born gay. I think it has to do with developing in the womb. But other times it's an event that changed them or something like that, but they don't just look up from their dinner one day and say, "Being gay would be a nice change."

Gay men thought about little boys when they were five and they looked up to older men not so much as role models, but as beautiful people, instead of looking up to women like that.

Lesbians thought of kissing little girls instead of playing house as the wife. They grew up thinking of girls in the same way that their friends were thinking of boys.

They are the same people as you, they love people the same way you do, the only differnece is who they love. And it's really not that big of a difference when it comes right down to it.

You should get to know some gay people and talk to them about it. They probably won't be offended because you want to know in all honesty.

Answer 9

Gay people are born that way. Most gay people would rather be straight. A lot of gays only know that they are different till they are in there mid 30's But we should not judge people because they are straight or gay black or white. I am white and straight and 64.I like a person for who they are, not what they are or what color they are.

Answer 10

Why do you choose to be straight? if it is a choice as you say why choose to be straight? If you are straight you might get a girl pregnant. Gays don't reproduce. We cant get each other pregnant. Tell me how to choose not to be bisexual I am married I live a straight life but still have desire for both my wife and men. I want my wife I desire my wife and I love sex with my wife. But at the same time I desire men and want to be intimate with a man. I don't act on it does that make me straight. Hell no. I still burn with desire when I see a man who is hot I still ache to reach out and touch a man if I see one that is attractive. For years I would have given anything not to have this desire but it is there and I accept it and I am finally happy with that.


Edit:
So you choose to be straight then could you in all honesty choose to be gay if you wanted to? Ask yourself that honestly.

2nd Edit:
dani_kin
I love you! You deserve to be chosen as best answer.

I'm bisexual, so I f*ck the whole thing up. LOL priceless I feel the same way babe.