this could be a book, but i'll condense. 5 years ago, i met this guy at work, we hooked up, (he was a 32 year old virgin) hello, red flags, and we ended up married. he has never made a secret of the fact that he likes models, movie stars, blondes, blah blah blah. very immature, mamas boy, blah blah blah. he has improved some, but i cant get past the things he has said in the past. No, he hasnt cheated on me, but i dont really trust him. if someone came on to him, i'm sure he would oblige. he hasnt the balls to come on to anyone himself. he doesnt communicate, is somewhat emotionally abusive. works every day, doesnt drink, or beat me. i want out. the clincher is that he is borderline intelligent, and i feel sorry for him. Will someone who can be objective help me? i made a bed of misery, and i cant stand the thought of the future.
2006-06-21 09:39:47 · 7 answers · asked by caelestisinferno64 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i didnt marry him because i was in love with him. and he rarely talks unless its about how much money is in the bank or the weather. i have been talking about lack of communication for 4 years. i married him because i was vulnerable and newly divorced and stupid. i figured love doesnt seem to work, so i'd marry to be secure, and thats where the bed of misery came in. we married for the wrong reasons.
2006-06-21 10:06:16 · update #1
another thing-it wasnt that he was looking, thats not the problem. the prob is he always has made me feel second best. that just wont fly.
2006-06-21 10:10:19 · update #2
You have to be true to yourself. You married this guy for a reason. Is there a way that your love can be salvaged? If he's open to going to marital counseling, try that. It can really help with communication. Have you communicated to him your lack of trust and your concern with our communication? If you see yourself unhappy with him for the rest of your life, even if he makes some realistic changes, then you know what to do. Just because he doesn't beat you and isn't a bum doesn't mean you'll have a happy marriage with him. On the other hand, you both might have some positive changes if you worked together and talked things out.
2006-06-21 09:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by thecentrecannothold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! dont be so silly! do not leave him.. not just yet...u married him! u made a vow... i think ure giving up too easily.... have abit more faith.. tel him this... go for councilling... SAY IT WITH ME,.. U MARRIED HIM! says enough of how u once felt... if he hasnt cheated, give him the benefit of the doubt.. dont make stupid perceptions that he wud oblige if sum1 came onto him! HOW WUD U NO!! thats just a mere thought, and not a fact! and if he doesnt have the balls to go for any1 else.. that means he 's not looking for sum1 else...so why wud a girl look at him! just give him some more credit, he is ure husband! he seems to be perfect inthe sense that, HE DOESNT CHEAT, DOSNT DRINK, DOESNT HIT U! fair enough, every1 has flaws such as like umentioned like the commuincation problem but that can be fixed! i think once ppl are married they drfit away slgihtly.. thast why u arent so close to him! its nothing that councilling cant fix! AND HE IS A GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!! OF COURSE HE GOING TO LOOK AT OTHER MODELS , MOVIE STARS BLONDES!!!! IT JUST SHOWS HE ISNT GAY! and if u no he doesnt have the guts to come onto anyone else... then wheres the problem with him looking at the pretty blonde model or move stars! GIVE URE HUSBAND A CHANCE... GIVE HIM SUM CREDIT! he has some of the qualities that other men dont have which is the result of a divorce!
2006-06-21 16:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am by no means a counselor, but it seems that you are not looking at the right person here. You might need to get into some counseling you will not find a happy relationship with some of the issues you mentioned above. No offense and please dont stay in something that makes you so miserable. But get some professional help before you jump ship you both deserve that much. Good luck
2006-06-21 16:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce... sounds like you are not in love with him and don't want to continue the marriage. Do the best thing for both of you so you two can try to find someone who you can be happy with. Good luck.
2006-06-21 16:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness must come from within yourself. If you don't feel that the future with this person would be beneficial for the both of you then you must terminate the relationship. Better to have loved and lost then to have to put up with the psycho the rest of your life!
2006-06-21 16:49:02 · answer #5 · answered by Cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't stay with him just because you feel sorry for him. He sounds very childish. You might try getting him into counselling, but it doesn't sound too hopeful. If you want out, go. The future will be better.
2006-06-21 16:45:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get out of that bed and move on. Staying in it with him is not worth the misery.
2006-06-21 16:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋