what do you do?

Question

when you're married,living together for financial reasons,and love is no longer there, what do you do?i know as far as love is concern i'll never love another man , i feel like i'm incapable of love.this is my 2nd marriage same bulls**t , i'm tired of being the woman and the man of the house.my husband and i rarely have sex, maybe if we're f***ed up,we will .sex is not a factor but should i feel guilty if from time to time i go elsewhere for satisfaction?

Answer 1

Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result... this is the correct definition of insanity.

This is your 2nd marriage/living together situation, you fell in love with a man, married him, found he didn't satisfy you, found another man, moved him with him, found now he doesn't satisfy you. Now you think the solution is to go out and find someone else who will satisfy you.

Haven't you learned anything yet? Every relationship has the rule of 10. There will always be 10 things that you grow tired of, can't stand, hate; in every relationship. Going from one relationship to another is just trading one set of 10 for another.

Try one of 2 things.
Try to be committed to this relationship. Being committed to a relationship when things are easy is no challenge. Being committed to a relationship when things aren't so good.... that's when you find out just how 'committed' you are. Is it worth it? In my experience it has been.

Second option; leave this guy and don't, I repeat, DON"T get involved with anyone else. You will just end up destroying someone else. Get some help. Find out what it is that makes you attracted to men that you eventually want to leave. Find out how to be happy being alone, by yourself, without anyone else. There are plenty of churches and support groups around to help you.

Either way, get some help. You're going to need it no matter what you choose.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Why did you get married in the first place, I am in a marriage without sex right now but I am not going to give up because I have hope. He isn't perfect but neither and I and we got married for better or worse and right now it's worse. But we both have a third strand that holds our marriage together you don't so I guess that is why you probably committ adultery and will be working on number three then four ect. True love isn't just a feeling. There is more to it.

Answer 3

If you still love him - talk to him. No marriage is beyond repair if both people are willing to put in the work to get a pulse back in the marriage. See if he's willing to put the effort in. You both need to talk about everything - he needs to know how you feel and how overwhelmed you feel in the marriage. You shouldn't be pulling the weight for two people - he needs to carry half.
If you are both willing to try and give your marriage another serious try get into marriage counseling asap. Counseling will help you both tons - it will provide a place where you can say exactly what you feel without having to worry about your spouse flipping out or taking it the wrong way.

Answer 4

You begin to realize that the man in your life doesn't respect or value your sense of Trust or your sense of People, and then you also realize that you've never had Trust, Honesty, Respect, Caring, Sharing, Appreciation, A Sense of Humor, and Unconditional love either. You've also never experienced open communication and genuine friendship either from your man as well.

It takes time to find the right person. It is a challenge. It isn't easy either. There is always hope. Regardless of how many times you've married, you CAN find the right man for you.

Answer 5

you should feel guilty if your husband is not aware that you are going elsewhere. However if this is a mutual decision between the two of you to be basically seperated besides the finances then I would say do it. As long as its not one-sided and you dont go off on him if he "sees" other people. Lying is wrong. Laying is right.

Answer 6

I think that you should feel guilty, I mean he is your husband. The key to marriage is trust and loyalty. I think that you should talk to him about it, and see what he says. If there isn't any room for coroperation, then just ask for a devorce. But if I were you, I would try my hardest to make the marriage work and grow the love back.

Answer 7

Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Get counseling from a certified marriage counselor. You got married for a reason, try and find it again!

Only 2 reasons a marriage should be dissolved: 1) infidelity 2) abuse

Answer 8

No. you are entitled to. it is how i survived 20+ years of the same bullsht in a marriage. you're right after an experience like that, love and sex seem highly overrated. i just want to be left alone.

Answer 9

Going elsewhere for sex isn't going to solve your problems, it's going to add to them. You need to decide if this relationship is worth staying in and if not, move on with your life in a positive way.

Answer 10

Gosh I'm in the same situation, but I have two kids to think about but right now I'm in the process of getting my own place. We have been together for 8yrs and he never wanted to marry me, and now that the love I once felt for him is no longer there he want's to marry me, all of the sudden I'm everything he always wanted. but like you I just got tired of being the dad & mom. believe me you can love again, I know it's hard but it's been done.
we just need to keep our heads up. and stop believing their lies.