MY HUSBAND ONLY GETS DESIRE FOR SEX WHEN WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE IF I WAS HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? AT TIMES HE IS SURE HE WANTS ME TO SLEEP AROUND BUT THEN LATER HES NOT SURE. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW IF HES THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WITH A PROBLEM LIKE THIS.
2006-06-21 09:06:15 · 19 answers · asked by NEED HELP 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's way more common than you think. It is known as "Hot Wifing" The wife is encouraged to have sex with other men but the man willingly only has sex with the wife. Here is a quotation from the Your Hotwives Forum's (male) moderator that may explain best:
* It feeds my ego. Every man likes to think he's married to a woman who's a tiger in bed. But how does he know? Maybe what he thinks is a great lay is just a so-so lay by "normal" standards. Alas, if another guy keeps coming back for more? You know she's good in bed. That's one heck of a compliment.
* Sex becomes more frequent and better. Just as every man likes to think he's married to a hottie, so too every woman likes to think that she IS a hottie. Being pursued by other men lets her know that she's sexy. And when she feels sexy her libido follows. As a result sex with Agatha is much more frequent and much hotter/wilder when she's been getting some strange d*ck (or is expecting to get some soon).
* I'm a voyeur! Most men are. We love watching porn! And what could be better than watching porn? Why, watching the hottest woman in the world (ie, your wife) get it on right there in front of you. Further, when I am having sex with Agatha I am often overcome with my own sensations. The fact that she's a great f*ck interferes with my ability to really appreciate watching a magnificent woman in action. But if it's some other guy doing the f*cking? Hey, I'm not distracted. I can also move around the bed and get views that are quite litterally impossible to get if I'm the one doing the f*cking.
* A used p*ssy feels amazing. I have no idea why it should be, but a c*m-filled p*ssy feels wonderful. Maybe it's the extra lube. Maybe it's a p*ssy that's actually hotter (temperature). Maybe I'm a homosexual in denial. Maybe it's simply that I'm even more turned on than normal after watching Agatha f*ck the other guy first. I really don't care why. What I know is that sloppy seconds feel amazing and that's enough for me (thirds? hmm....).
* It's a gift to my wife. As a loving, caring husband I want my wife to have the best of everything. And that includes sex. And let's face it, there are things that two men can do that one man simply can not. For example one man can NOT suck on both of her nipples at the same time (something Agatha loves). The only way I can give my wife those kinds of experiences are to bring in a hired gun (figuratively speaking). In addition, I admit it... I don't have the greatest stamina in bed. Bringing in an extra d*ck allows for us to tag team her; giving her a much longer (presumably more satisfying) experience.
2006-06-27 07:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by centralcoasthotcpl 1 · 6⤊ 1⤋
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2016-07-30 01:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by Domingo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every person and their motive is different. If the husband is caring and has non controlling behaviors, knows when to stop when you ask, does not use alcohol while he allows other men to have sex with his wife. Treats you with respect when you are out with friends, doesn t take all your time away from your children so he can have you to him self alllllllllllllll the time. Does bot demean you as a women or call you names and screams and put u down or bring up his sexual past while with friends in the room. He doesn t call you a whore after you have done his wanted deed, and say he would win in court because you are a whore. When you just want a hug from him he will turn around and say you must be horny you want to go out and get ******. If he shows abusive behavours do not go through with it it will ruin your life like it did mine. I slept with over 150 men trying to keep him happy, but he was a drunk and verbally abusive, lacked empathy, I was there to be his sex slave not a wife he loved. Sex was used to hurt me emotionally he wanted people to see me as a whore and that he had no knowledge made people think I was cheating. If this is something you can keep up with and know that his intentions are to destroy your sexuality as a women because he is a women hater than don t do it. If he spends 24 hours on the subject get out of the relationship now before it ruins you sexually. If you can go to a mall with out him pointing out how big some womens ***** are or go to the beach with out him wanting to go home in half hour so he can sit on the couch while the kids are in their rooms so he can rub his pecker for the next 2 hours while talking his fantasy out and never kissing you or touching you and when he gets off he could care less if you had an orgasm. you may be a very sexual person but with the wrong man you may end up bitter and shameful for what you did expecially if its sexual blackmail and if your emotional needs don t get met nothing in the bedroom will meet that need. I know my grammer isn t the best but writing this out is making me feel better.
2015-04-08 09:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by Jeannette 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't really trying. Get him drunk & lay him down & give him a massage, then suck his dick. You'll be having sex in no time. Do that a couple of times & maybe he'll finally get the idea & start laying you down & giving you massages, etc etc etc. Continue for a few weeks & before you know it, you have a sex life again. But that's going to take you being selfless to get things started (someone has to do it, why not you?). If you're too resentful to even try to do that for him once, then you can't sit there and complain that you haven't had sex in 9 months. You're probably both sitting there frustrated & holding onto your big lists of things that the other person isn't giving you. Instead of just letting it go & giving.
2016-03-18 03:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is obssessed with the idea of you being with another man and can only get ready by using that fantasy as a prop you have a serious problem. He is either very submissive and gets off on the idea of you cuckold him (he is fantasizing that you are having sex with other men against his wishes) or he is gay. He is putting himself in your place while you have sex with men. You are like his surrogate, doing what he would like to do but can't admit to himself. It sounds like the former.
Both these thing are completely different than a 3 way with a friend or acquantence which I think someone else described in their answer.
2006-06-21 09:20:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Nope he's not...my husband was/is the same way. But a few weeks ago we had a 3 some with another guy and things have been great between us about that since, we plan on doing it again sometime soon too....it greatly improved our sex lives.......even though people swear that it's wrong, and you shouldn't do it...but its not that bad.......like I said things have improved greatly with us after it
2006-06-21 09:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by MeMyselfandI 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has done the traditional forms of sex so much that he is bored. I would venture to ask you if he watches a lot of porn, which I am assuming he does. This seems to be a trend these days, however I wouldn't do it. If you do, believe me it will change the scope of your relationship forever and he may even throw it back up in your face later on down the road. There are just some times when you just have to draw the line and say NO.
2006-06-21 09:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by Slice 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am a beautiful, sexy woman who recently married a man that I love. I knew he was into kinky threesomes ect before we started dating, and almost didn't date him because of it. However, he convinced me that when he met me, all of his desires for that changed. He was totally in love with me. I fell in love with him.
Soon he started asking about former lovers and I told him some things I did in order to be honest. He was livid and called me a slut. I was never a slut by the way. But I understood his feelings and quit answering his questions feeling that what happened before we were married wasn't relevant. After all if I could overlook his previous sex life, he should be able to overlook mine.
However, things changed. One night he admitted to me that it turns him on to think of me with other guys. This shocks, repulses and disgusts me. And I told him that. It makes me feel less than special, worthless and slutty. But he won't quit. I'm almost ready to leave this marriage because of this even though I love him. I see that if I give in to talking about these sick things it will only feed his desire for more and more kinky sex and eventually fantasy won't be enough. Why are men never satisfied? Isn't been beautiful, sexy, great in bed, intelligent, ect enough? What is wrong with this world?
So to answer your question, no he's not the only man like that. I wish I could push a button and become a lesbian.
2013-10-17 08:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Gizelle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here are some probabilities:
1) He may want you to have sex with other people to improve your own personal sex lives. (More outside experience)
2) He may just use this as a stimulation tactic for himself to make him want you more.
3) Or, he may want to sleep around or is sleeping around.
Talk to HIM a bit more about it.
2006-06-21 09:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by Kristina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to be a fantasy he wants to fullfill. Some men get aroused by those kinds of things. Usually it is seeing his wife with another woman. Ask him if he fantasizes about it. It must turn him on thinking about you being with another man and him watching
2006-06-21 11:52:33 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋