It wouldn't be an issue, but he slept with her while we were dating. We worked it out and then got married. Even though he says he can't stand her, they see each other a few times a week because they have 2 kids. It gives me knots in my stomach even when they talk on the phone-about the kids. He says he is completely over her and is so in love with me, but I'm still going crazy with not being able to trust him!! Oh, he left HER and she still loves him and would take him back in a heartbeat...
2006-06-21 08:03:09 · 9 answers · asked by kimberly S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's easy... remember that he married you, that he didn't go back to his ex-wife, even though they slept together again. What you need to realize is that people who have kids and have had a long relationship will always have a connection. That connection will have some emotional element, but that doesn't mean love. And, often, those who divorce get back together for sex (like your husband did with his ex-) because it's familiar and simple with someone with whom you once had a long relationship. It was a booty call... that's all, and it's over.
He's with you. He's not with her. And even if she wants him back, you have him, and he's committed to you. Unless you're oddly jealous of her divorce, there's really nothing to be jealous about. (The truth is that she's probably green with envy of you.) So just be happy, secure, and enjoy your relationship with your husband.
2006-06-21 08:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by BeenThere69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if i can take that.
Sleeping with an ex while dating you? Does this mean that there's been an exchange of "i love you's" already? And at that time, are u officially in a relationship? If so, I don't know how you can handle that.
Now that you're married and she's still on for YOUR hubby now, talk about their kids should involve you. Involving you would make you understand more what their relationship is now.
2006-06-21 16:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by meiji_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok My husband feels the same way you do. He is so jealous of my x husband and when i do call to talk to my kids we get in to it. So I know how he feels. You really do need to trust him. I mean you are married to him not her. If you don't trust him then that will cause more problems for the two of you. Trust me,I know.
2006-06-21 15:49:32 · answer #3 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one...especially with the sex during dating you thing. I suggest counseling. Otherwise, you may never get past this. I hate to add fuel to the fire, but I knew a couple like you and your man. He left his wife, met someone else, and kept bouncing back and forth between the two until they both got fed up with him. He ended up all alone. He was a s***.
2006-06-21 15:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Okkieneko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in your situation, cept he has a child with the ex he slept with and it is killing me. we are in counseling right now and trying to move in together (we're not married), but we also have a 13mo old together.
It's hard. I give you the same credit I give myself for staying with him, but it's hard, Hang in there, try counseling and tell him how you feel. He may say "youre crazy for thinking that" but its all anxiety from being hurt before.
You BOTH need to grow from it. HE was the one who went back to her, you were the victim who
got hurt. So BOTH try counseling not just YOU bc he needs to see what he can do to help you trust him.
Good luck hun!!
2006-06-21 19:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Twin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,ur fears are not groundless.
Talk to ur husband about how in secure u r feeling cos of her.Though it is natural for them to talk abt kids.Ask him u would talk to his ex about kids and all and that he could directly talk with the kids.He neednt talk with 'her'.Be firm,to the point and logical while talking the ex issue.
2006-06-21 15:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the one creating these emotions, not your husband or his ex. YOu are the one stirring up the hormones that give you these feelings, no one else. Feelings are ALL generated by our own bodies, no one else's. Accept responsibility for your feelings and work on getting rid of them. NO ONE can make you feel anything...only you can do that. You are putting yourself through hell for no reason...unless, of course, you reallly like feeling like this!
2006-06-21 15:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one.Jealousy is natural. I guess you just have to trust him until he gives you reason not to. Since he is the one that left her , that should make you feel a little better.
2006-06-21 15:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the one to break it to you but as long as she is in the picture you will always be jealous and have doubts about him and her....Been there done that....Sad but true
2006-06-21 15:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by Hardheel Gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋