im gonna be a father my gf is pregnant wat should i consider doing now we both are still in school?

Question

my 14 year old gf is pregnant now wat the hell

Answer 1

To heck with the age difference... for now... Most importantly, if this is her FIRST TIME being pregnant DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let her have an abortion, no matter what others will say!!! She'll never conceive another baby for the rest of her life, and she won't be greatful to that either!!! Her body is young enough but yet strong enough to go through this, but you're playing with fire if she'll go for abortion... This will result not only in not being able to conceive in the future, also due to stress she might have other health complecations that you can't yet see at this moment but are life-threatening once developed and not treated. Best of all, see to it that both of you enroll in the Young-Parents'-Family-Planning Group(s) that are able to show you what to do and where to go from here. HAVE the baby, you can always consider adoption as an option.

However, even if adoption MIGHT be an option, at times don't take it seriously, the reason being is that giving away a child you just gave birth to is almost impossible to get over (IT IS your flesh and blood)--there are a lot people around you who'll be happy to help you out in this in every way they can.

If you ARE deciding to keep a baby, think about this:
- You have to find a job to help her to support the baby. If you ARE working, keep up the good job and don't quit it.
- STAY with her and support her through this time no matter how hard it can/will get for the two of you. Please do not even think of leaving her, otherwise you'll be charged with more than "You can't see her now."
- Love and care for her, and show how happy she makes you no matter what.
- STAY in school even if she would have to take sometime off. Bring her her homework from school to help her stay on top of her studying. Get your High-School Diploma and help her to do the same. Home studying for her if she's too tired to go to school and wants to be at home (due to feeling ill or hospitals' visits/requirements).
- Get at least a permit to drive a car so that way you can take her to an appoitment to make sure that everything's alright with the young mother and the baby.
- When she turns 18 you can seal your relationship by getting married (if you'd like)
- Plan ahead everything step by step: What Hospital to go to? Who's the Physician / Doctor who'll be there to help and bring this baby to this world? Where will you live? Who will take care of the baby while you'll be either at work or studying? Ask BOTH of your parents for additional guidance and assistance, talk to them and explain CALMLY that you guys love each other so much, you're willing to see how far it'll go and you ARE planning on being in this baby's life.

Do not take this for granted, you're now a future parent so be ready to act like one: being responsible, dependable, supportive, helpful, understanding, patient, loving, caring, and gentle. Don't worry, you CAN do this once you have everything in order. With everyone's help you'll be able to go through this, just don't forget about your girlfriend: be with her every step of the way and love her regardless of her mood-swings during and after pregnancy, gained weight, or even when she's too tired to anything at all (even to move a finger). It won't be even a Court matter if you show your love, care, and appreciation for her and both of your families. This way you'll show her and others in both of your lives that you are dependable, honest, and trustworthy, and you're not just some shmuk (excuse my language) who's there to have fun, and you're not a "love them and leave them"-type of a guy. It might be a little bit challenging for everyone to come to terms first but they will with time as long as they know that you mean well and trully care for her as much as you do :)

However, here's the grim picture of what awaits you if you'll start showing your negative side right now (doing everything but the above)... You'll be spending the rest of your life either in a jail for the "rape" charges (reason being: she's 14 and you're probably older than her; and even if you're the same age, you might still have the same charges), and/or paying child-support for a very long time, attorney fees (on both sides), court fees, and many other fees that you do not want to have, as well as having the worst reputation a guy can have. If God-forbid you'll land in jail for this, this record will haunt you for the rest of your life no matter where you'll go, you'll be there for AT LEAST 5 years, and you'll meet your future mate Bubba who won't go easy on just because you're a guy (they DON'T like "child molesters" there no matter what age they are)... Trust me, you don't want to go down that road.

On the happy side of the cituation (after everything's settled down): Now every year you can look forward to getting "Happy Father's Day" Card from your baby and your girlfriend :) You'll be able to hear your child's first words ("Mommy"/"Daddy"), his/her smile when they look at you, and see your child starting to take those first steps in learning how to walk. It's priceless and something to be looking forward to and treasured for the years/decades to come :)

Best of luck and take care :)


P.S.: DO NOT even think about running away from responsibilities of being a parent and/or cheating on her when the going will get tough (no matter what), she doesn't deserve that bad of a treatment from you. This baby is your responsibility just like hers. BOTH of you have work at it TOGETHER to bring up this baby right. Your patience, kindness, love and tender care will pay off in the long run when you'll see your own baby fully grown and enjoying his/her life to the fullest :)

Answer 2

How old are you? Getting a 14 year old pregnant is NOT a good thing! She is just a child herself, so how can SHE raise a baby? Oh, I guess you two could push the baby off onto your parents to raise, like so many other kids seem to do these days, but that is NOT right, either. You played grown-up, now you BOTH should accept your responsibility. First thing I would do if I were you, is to have a paternity test done to PROVE you are the father. Lots of girls LIE about who the father is, just to KEEP the boyfriend. Even if she is a nice girl, GET A PATERNITY TEST!!!!! THEN, you BOTH need to drop out of school, and get your G.E.D. and JOBS. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You are going to need a lot of family support. I would stay in school but look for a part-time job. Well since its summer you can work full time but when school start look for part time. Diapers, baby clothes and formula are expensive. Good luck.

Answer 4

First things first. You need to get your parents involved. They're not gonna be happy about it but you're going to need their help. You can't do this alone. If the decision is made to keep the baby, your g/f needs to go to planned parenthood. She's going to need prenatal care. You need to be there for her emotionally. She's going to go through alot of changes and not just physically. She needs to know that you're not gonna skip out on her. She needs to know that you're going to be there.
I'm sorry but you're going to have to grow up alot sooner than planned now hon. You really need to focus on making better grades in school so you can graduate. If you're 16, look into getting your G.E.D. that way you can get a job. You're going to need to do that. This is going to be hard for you guys and i'm sorry you have to go through it but you both decided that it was ok to have sex with each other and now this is what happens. From now on it's not gonna be about you or what you want. Your first thoughts and actions are now going to be, is this good for my kid. If you have'nt told your parents yet, you need to tell them. The sooner the better.
I wish you both the best of luck. You're going to need it.

Answer 5

In order to support your girlfriend and your baby, you need to find a job, because taking care of a baby isn't easy and it needs plenty of financial support. Also, stay in school, because having an education will pay off in the long run.

Answer 6

WOW, big nono to begin with. FInish school, go to work and support that baby. And your gf. She needs you. Do not turn your back on this. You helped get her this way. Sounds like you may need to go to school and work. Good luck.

Answer 7

baby its to late to say that u should've waited so my advice to u both is to make the best of it. u need to get a job if you're not working now----she really can't do to much right now--i can only hope and pray that u both have the support of your parents cause with out them i really don't see how u all will make it unless u have faith in god!!!!!!!!!!!"through god all things are possible"

Answer 8

I would find me a job and make some money after school and start saving and then ask her to marry you and stick with each other through thick and thin

Answer 9

I'm sorry that you didn't see this coming ... what you'll be doing is struggling, but then don't we all ?? Try your best to stay in school or get your GED early so you can support your new family. Nothing about this is going to be easy.

Answer 10

Make sure it is yours first and foremost, then GET A JOB, a good one because you are gonna need it! Have ya'll told your parents? Are they going to help?

Answer 11

Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do like getting an abortion. Save all the money you can babies are expensive. Oh, next time keep it in your pants you guys are two babies having babies.