Actually how could you become sure that here is the right one, what qualities should I look for? and how could you really become sure that he is really loving and caring?
2006-06-21 07:08:26 · 15 answers · asked by RealArsenalFan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Time & effort.
If you really want to know a person is the right one, then it's going to take time!
You need to have discussions with this person to see what they think and feel. -- Discussions are totally different than questions, you can ask someone a question and get a quick answer, but a discussion reveals that persons thoughts & feelings.
You also need to see how this person is in a variety of situations. -- sometimes actions speak louder than words.
And you need to make sure that this person is genuine & not putting on a show for your benefit. Some people will do & say anything to get what they want. Later you find out that this is not who this person is at all.
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How does this person treat his/her mother, father, grandparents, siblings?
How does this person treat his/her friends?
How does this person treat your friends, your relatives?
What types of hobbies & interests does this person have?
Is this person Kind? Considerate? Polite? Rude? Vicioius? Hateful? Easy-going?
Does this person have pets? How does he/she treat pets?
What types of goals does this person have? Career? Family?
How does this person treat you on a date? At his/her family gathering? Around his/her friends? Around your friends?
Put yourself in a variety of situations with this person....dinner out, a picnic, an outing such as an amusement park with friends, a relative's wedding, even a memorial service or funeral. How does this person react to you & others?
Again Time & Effort are the only way to know if a person is the right one.
Best Wishes! :-)
2006-06-21 07:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by petuniablues 1 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It was much easier to pick a life mate back in the days when the average life span was only about 40 or so. Don't worry so much about whether you'll make it an entire lifetime or not. If you can have a good relationship with someone for twenty or more years, that is accomplishing quite a lot in our society. People change. The two of you who marry this year will not be the same people twenty years from now. As both of you change, you will need to reevaluate your relationship and to renew your relationship if it is to continue. In some cases, it may be better for you to part amicably and to find new life partners that are suitable to who you are at that point. It's not a failure; it's an evolution to a new life passage that may require someone new for that stage of your life.
What qualities to look for in a partner? Is that person good natured, slow to anger or to depression, do they have a good sense of humor? Are they intelligent, successful, committed? Are they passionate about you, do they treasure you, and do they make sure to let you know just how much they value you? Do they possess similar beliefs and values as you? Everyone has some not so good points: are the things that aren't attractive or nice about the person, things that you can stand to live with?
How can you be sure they are loving and caring? This is a matter of trust and depends as much on you and as on your partner. You have to be willing to accept them as they appear to be... if they say they care and act like they care, then you have to be willing to trust that that's who they really are. If your fear of hurt and insecurity of loss dominate your thoughts, then it is unlikely that even the most honest and genuine partner will ever be able to build trust with you. They, on the other hand, have to behave in ways that consistently build trust and that demonstrate that they genuinely care for you.
2006-06-21 14:23:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found in marriage that sometimes ppl grow apart as if they never knew each other at all .. I guess thats a chance we all gotta take when it comes to our happiness . I guess you cant be sure he is the (right one) but if all the feelings are there at the time then take that chance . Ive been with my husband 10 years now and married 5 ..hmm it takes some doing .. and sometimes it feels im the only one holding us together and that really hurts ..but in marriage you have alotta mixed emotions all the time id like to say.. I think love is something you work at everyday .. ppl change and grow apart .. I get so angry and frustrasted with my husband but other times i love him to death lol I guess you gotta ask yourself if your ready to settle down with that (one) person for the rest of you life ? for better or worse ??! I thought my husband was great when we 1st got married LOL he turned out to be a real *** . marriage is something i only wanna do once so I try to be forgiving and understanding and let me tell you ITS HARD! I dont think you can really be sure in life if he is the right one , you cant go thru life planning it step by step take chance be adventurous go with the flow take it day by day and see where it gets you . I mean thats all we can do right ? ppl fall in and out of love everyday ! why not take the chance sometimes it hurts more not knowing what coulda been ...
2006-06-21 14:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you can tell if he/she's the right one for you:
* For Women: He's a Gentleman in more ways than one, and treats you like a Lady.
* For Men: She's a Lady in every way, and will treat you like a Gentleman.
This means that the person of your affections:
- Has values and respect for you and your decisions / opinions / suggestions and will be curious about what you're thinking of and will ask for your opinion / guidance / assistance (he won't think (like most men) that it'll be damaging to his ego). He/she will be more than happy to know what you think about this or that and will listen to you without interruption, and will be more than happy to provide help and assist you in any way when you're in trouble and/or just need help and someone to talk to.
- Has respect for you and everyone in your life: your Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Grandmother, etc.
- Is honest, loving, caring, and makes you smile or gives you a hug when you're sad / upset / just having a bad day.
- They'll *never* bring you down either verbally (i.e.: call you names in the negative way) or physically (i.e.: hit you)
- It'll be easy to talk to and communicate with him/her.
- Even though sometimes he/she will have difficulty showing his/her love, affection and appreciation for you in one way, they'll be able to show it in many other different ways.
- Will mean every compliment that they say to you.
- He/She will be the one to tell you that they love you, cares for you and can't possibly imagine their life without you in it :)
- You'll feel like it's so perfect being with him/her, he/she completes you in every way, like you've found your other half, who can understand you without even speaking.
- He/She might end up being the only person who'll make your heart beat faster and slower at the same time, and at times you'll feel that it has skipped a beat just because they looked back at you and smiled seeing you :)
It takes two to work out any differences / problems / confusions / misunderstandings no matter how hard life can/will get at times. If given a chance and support, all bad things will seem like a bad dream that you thought never would go away, but they did and now you have a chance on happiness that you didn't know was there.
2006-06-21 14:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by tiger_pisces7483 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reveiw his W-2 forms...just kidding. This is the age old question we all wish we had the answer too. Life is like a box of chocolates....you NEVER know what your going to get. Its all risky and scary, you just have to ask yourself if your willing to take the chance. G' luck!
2006-06-21 14:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to trust your instict and take the risk!You could also try leaving together for a while to see if you really match!
2006-06-21 14:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married...just date. You can never really trust a person, because they can leave, cheat at anytime. In fact they probably will cheat, or you will cheat, so save yourself the heartache...stay single.
2006-06-21 14:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try dr. phil's book on relationships or on how to choose the right one. it is fun and i wish i had it years ago. good luck.
2006-06-21 14:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by joshey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby just make a list of thing you like in this person and onday that so mate will come to you
2006-06-21 14:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by lilmizzfree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep looking and follow the dating rules ull make it some day
2006-06-21 14:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋