married 7 yrs just found out wife cheating, forgive or forget???

Question

was thinking about cheating myself but answers were pretty good

Answer 1

Depends on if your wife is "still" cheating. If she is not and is remorseful, and if you can forgive her, try to make it work. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone. Sad, but cheating is one of these terrible mistakes people make. If you can't forgive her, then the marriage is over because you won't be able to move on with the marriage for it to survive. But if you feel you can forgive her, get some marriage counseling. Get to the bottom of the reason she cheated. There is always a reason. Don't cheat yourself. That will not make matters better only worse. And don't think that your wife will forget what she has done, she hasn't and she won't. It will forever be on her mind, believe me. She may never forgive herself for what she has done. The most important thing for the both of you to do if you want to work things out is to be honest with each other. Get all the feelings out no matter how much they hurt. The more you get out in the open and talk about it, the better chance your marriage has to work out. Again, don't cheat yourself to get back at her, you will always regret it. You'll never forgive yourself and you don't want to do to her, what she did to you. It doesn't make it even.

Answer 2

Okay, the why does not really matter to a point, I SAID TO A POINT. Yes, at times, I think that the person who is cheated on certainly helped in the way of giving the other party ways to make it much more justifiable to cheat. Things like having your mate say no to sex all the time will help others feel more justified in cheating. But it does not make it right and it is still cheating and wrong. The fact that she is cheating on you is the point. And there is all the difference in the world between dating and married. Remember that vow thing? Uh, yeah, that is a big part of the difference. Make sure that she is cheating. Hire and investigator. Wise up and do some research and so forth. Pay more attention and keep track of things. But do not worry past a point about why she cheated if she did. Yes, you should try to find out what she used to help her justify doing so, yet do not be fooled or by into the nonsense.

Answer 3

If you go out and cheat on her just because she did this to you then you are doing nothing more than lowering yourself to her level, now aren't you better than that! Two wrongs never make a right. If this was me I would pack my things and leave because I have zero tolerance when it comes to any form of cheating but this isn't me so I would say you have to decide if this marriage is worth staying in, besides this cheating what is your marriage like? If the marriage is worth saving then I would say express to her how you feel and if she is not prepared to stop cheating and start working on the marriage what ever the problems then you two need to end it now. Of course she will have to "earn" your trust back which is never as easy as one thinks it is.
You and your wife both must talk things out and come up with the best solution for "both" of you.

Answer 4

It's really up to you..You can forgive your wife. However, I think it would be very difficult to forget. Every time she goes out, or gets off at work and she doesn't come straight home, you'll probably have the thought she's probably out there again..The trust has been violated. If you can gain the trust again, you really want the marriage to work, and she's willing to turn from her wicked ways than go for it...But that would depend on you..I don't think anyone can truly answer the question for you but you..Because only you know they way you feel about her extra activities outside your marriage..Take your time..

Answer 5

You might want to look at why she was cheating. Had you two been distant or fighting for a while? Had you stopped paying attention to her, or were you working long hours? I'm not making excuses for her, but usually it's something in the marriage that drives someone to look outside it. Something she wasn't getting at home. The fact that you were thinking of cheating too, well, what are you missing? If it's just "tit for tat" that makes you want to do it, don't - you'll regret it and hurt another woman into the bargain.

Get counselling - many marriages survive infidelity if both parties are willing to work at it. Seven years is a long time, and not all of them were bad... were they?

Answer 6

If she wants you back (& you still love her) and you believe you can establish trust again then I'd reccomend giving it a second shot. Also, hey, maybe this could be a stage in which you establish a semi open relationship and even start swinging. If you're not being open and honest about your respective sexual appetites it may happen all over again. It's a tough subject to get open and going on but WOW, when you do, potentially, you could be happier than you've ever been. Have the proper women you love and cherish during the day and your slut love slave at night. Good luck, man.

Answer 7

Seems like you to are not happy - if she is cheating and you are thinking about it. Seek help - sometimes this can make you closer but remember if you forgive her then forgive her for always do not bring it up everytime you get mad or in an argument. If you decide that it is not an option then you have to make that choice. You also have to decide that you would want her again after knowing someone else had her. It would be hard for me to make love to someone that I knew made love to someone else.

Answer 8

I'm sorry that your wife was caught cheating, that is a horrible thing. I wouldn't cheat back we are told to forgive and forget. We are all sinners and make mistakes and Jesus died for us so that we could be forgiven from those sins. And he tells us in his word to forgive others when they have wronged us. I can't image how hard it would be but don't let your marriage die because of her sins. And remember revenge is the Lord's he will repay her for what she has done to you, so just leave it to him. Exodus 14:14 says: "The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet." Continue to love her how Christ loves us even when we have continued to sin against him. I will be praying for you!!

Answer 9

Atleast try to find out why she was cheating, it had to be some reason. There are 2 ways you can go.
1) Find out her reason of doing it. If it is some thing both of you can work out then you should give it another chance. (only if you can do it with out douting her all the time)

2) Move on. Life is short and there are plenty of fishes in the sea.

what ever you do, dont be hattin her cause it will only trouble you.

Answer 10

Well i would leave her myself,
but beings that you were thinking of it yourself. Go for it, that way it's out of your system.

But if you want to stay with your wife after the cheat thing then you both have something agaist each other.
You must forgive and forget the hole cheating past to make it work.

My oppinion only