What should I do about this co-worker?

Question

I work with lady that is 39 and I am 24. We are both admins for the same department she has only been her 6 months longer than me. I've now been here 6 months! I know everything she knows. She tries to tell me what to do and what to work on. She also arrives earlier than me (which I am already 10 minutes early) just so she can get all the work for herself and nothing for me to work on. The person before me quit b/c of her! I've tried and tried to explain this to my boss but he just doesnt not get it! I want to stay here I like it but I am afraid I might have to leave this job!?

Answer 1

You need to talk to her and let her know why it's bothering you. I had the same problem with a co-worker and I sat down with her when we weren't on the job and talked to her. She didn't realize that it bothered me so much, and she started to be better about it.

If that doesn't work and you have talked to your boss, then go to someone higher, lodge a formal complaint and let her know in no uncertain terms that what she is doing is bothering you.

Maybe she just doesn't care about what you feel or think- it's the seniority complex as I like to call it- she's been there longer, therefore you know nothing. It wouldn't matter if you were there for 10 yrs.. she's still been there longer.

If all else fails, write her a letter and leave it on her desk after she leaves for the day, so she gets it before you get there. Tell her what you think and feel and how much it is bothering you. Tell her that if things don't change, you are filing a complaint about her.

Don't give up your job just because of her. If anything, tell your boss that if things don't change, you will put a request to be transfered to another department. Your boss should listen to you and try to help.

Try and get there before she does and take the work before she gets there, then if she says anything, tell her that you thought she could use the help, since she seems to be so busy all the time. Maybe she will get the hint.

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Your assumption that you know everything she knows because she's only been in the position 6 months longer than you is absurd. She has 15 years on you, probably a minimum 10 years longer experience in the working world. Stop viewing this as a competition and start looking at it from the perspective of a team sport. Your energy and desire to do well coupled with her experience mean you two would probably make an awesome team and make each others lives easier and more rewarding.

Make friends with her. I'm not saying you two have to be best friends but you could be a real asset to your boss if you can find a way to work together.

Maybe the reason she tries to direct you is that she can see all of the pieces of the puzzle and is trying to help you see it too so that you can work economically.

On the other hand, maybe she is a controlling and domineering person who sees you as a wet behind the ears kid and will never be any different.

In any case, you will spend the rest of your adult life having to occasionally work with people you may not like or agree with. The sooner you develop the tools to so so, the happier you will be.

Answer 3

lets see try saying to her I see you are here again before so do you have the work ready that you would like me to do for the day. I mean its only fair we share the workload. I know I haven't been here as long as you but I am able to do the work. Or you could say well since you have all the work what should I do is there someplace else in the office that could use help? Hence if she sees you wanting to branch out she might share workload so you don't get more knowledge than her. Of course there is the other thing to do also get there like 10 minutes ahead of her and walk in together and say so how are we going to divide up the work today. You have to relize this is her livihood probably is she a single mom, and getting to know her might help you understand why she does what she does.

Answer 4

You've talked to the boss... have you talked to Ms Thing?

Some ideas-
Tell her you'd like to be more of a team than competitors.
Let her know you appreciate her work ethic- there's nothing wrong with a little honest flattery!).

If that doesn't work--
Offer to help her with all the work she has on her desk (aka- all the work she's hoarding). "This looks like so much work! Here, let me help you with all this--" then just pick it up, and head to your desk.
Ask the dumbest (the more redundant, the better) questions- If she wants to dictate your every little move, LET HER. "Now, the finnished reports- they go in that box, right?" even though you already know... ;)

Be a total suck-up to her, to the point that she is as annoyed with you as you are with her. Be so sweet that you'll give her diabetes ;)

Do you have any idea how early she's getting there? Some time, get to work 45 min early, wait in your car, watch for her...

Answer 5

Kill her with kindness. Ask if she needs any help because your done with ALL of your work. She probably feels threatened(and 39 is NOT old) by you. If she doesn't talk bad about you, or back stabs anyone just go on with your work and be sure she knows she doesn't bother you a bit.

Your boss. I went to my boss about someone I worked with who was always getting others in trouble, and making things up. He simply didn't believe me even though I had been there for 6 years. So I left, but I'm glad I don't need to deal with her. She's still there and EVERYONE dislikes her, even her boss. To bad for him.

Answer 6

Can't you find a way to make it work? I used to be in a similar situation, but I was the older one who had been there longer. The younger people were paid more and they came in wanting to tell me how to do my job, and we were all admins! I learned to speak up, but in a way were no feelings were hurt. Maybe she is just a bossy person. If you like the job, use some psychology on this lady and maybe you can coexist in the same job.

Answer 7

Don't ever let anyone who is like this make you quit ! Age has nothing to do with who is the better person for the job. And why go in early if you don't have to??? This person's life and who she is revolves around her job. Let her do all the work, why do you care, as long as you show up when you should & do what your supposed to do? Do not, do not let her get to YOU -that is her plan.

Answer 8

Try and stick it out.Surprise her and come early and do exactly what she is doing.sometimes that works,and if that dont work,take one day at a time,and dont let her think your gonna quit just because of her.I work sometimes with a girl that is 25 that is very whinny most of the time,i just try and stay away from her,she use to be bossy too,but once she figured out i was not taking no crap from her,she gota little nicer.Hang in there,dont let her make you quit a job you love,there hard to find now of days.

Answer 9

Just try to take it one day at a time. Be professional in everything you do, and ask for more work, if you see yourself done in the middle of the day.

The prospects of her losing the job at age 39 are certainly more difficult than for you, so she's probably hanging to it with all she can. Just be professional, and don't try to confront, the paycheck still comes at the end of the week, right?

Answer 10

KEY PHRASE: "Don't work harder, just smarter." return the favor...show up 1/2 hour early and maybe you can gain the advantage of the work load, or just mush it up...with that other lady...ask her advise on every detail, make her feel important..maybe she is scared that her age might be a factor in her abilities to maintain workload. (could be why she has to come in earlier..to keep up with you). Then if all else fails..befriend her.