Am I the only one - Black men with White women?

Question

I'm wondering how other black women feel about black guys who ONLY or majorially date white women? I'm also hoping that black men will read this and understand that it's not that we are trying to take away your right to date whomever you want, it's about how we as black women feel when you "prefer" white women over your own. My particular issue with it is this: Black women carry the brunt of the oppression black people have dealt with for years. We try to love angry black men who can't catch a break and therefore are pitiful or abusive and can't provide for their families, we try to raise children in the face of adversity, we end up raising those children alone for the same reason above, and we try to keep our sanity and find happiness anywhere we can only to have black men say "all black women are *itches and white women are easier". Not all of us *itches! I think it's a huge issue of self hate. White is thought to be better so to be better themselves they get a white woman.

I also want to say I have nothing against most" white women who date black men, I don't like it when a white woman TARGETS black men, whether or not he has a wife and family and there are those who do that. My point to black men is that when we see you with just white women it makes most of us feel as if you are saying "we aren't good enough" and really that's what it boils down to. But then those who get the really fat and unattractive white women, it's like we don't want you anyway so no loss. Those are the types who usually have nothing anyway and are looking for a free ride. But the good black guys who are successful and heading somewhere in life, have little miss white thang on their arm. Many of us black women are successful as well, but that's seen as a threat. I just don't get it.

To Resi6, I think black women don't date white men "as much" because for the most part white women don't "seriously" want to date black women. They will *uck one in a second, but to make her his girlfriend or wife is rare. I've dated white men in the past and it's true that all things are equal in a lot of ways. But with a white man I just don't feel like he "truly" understands me and I can't be sure if its me he wants or just my sex.

Answer 1

I may be wrong with my assesment, but I have many best friends that happen to be black and we talk about everything. Guys share feelings too if its a best friend. Any hoo, my friends seem to have a payback problem. I quote them" White men have been f***ing our women for over 400 years, Im gone f**k theirs now." I think it is just a part of that anger thing you mentioned for the hardships they have endured. Plus white women I notice date black men because it is fashionable right now to do so. But to each his own. What I see in society is that black women rarely will date white men. Whats up with that? Black women are hot!!!

Answer 2

Statically of Black men who marry only 7% practice miscegenation and only 5% are with White women. The statistics are lower among Black women. So my point is if 93%of Black men are marrying Black women why would I be concerned with the 7% that don't? And as you also mentioned the statistics are even lower among Black women. I'm for the preservation and promotion of Black love, Black unity and the Black family. I don't care why White men are not marrying Black women. Contrary to the sensationalized media The US Census speaks for itself. Also I can say personally I don't know any Black/White interracial couples personally and I know many married couples. In fact just this year I witness many weddings among my friends and family that were between Black men and Black women. So again why should I be concerned with such a small group of people?

Answer 3

I am a black woman and it doesn't bother me in the least that some black men go this route. Its his choice to do so. Hell my ex hubby and ex boyfriend got with white woman after me and it means nothing to me. Some women will deal with sh*t that others wont tolerate. I can never speak for a white woman in how they feel or why they do what they do but from my point of view white woman dont get on men (any color) asses the way a black woman does. I think a good portion of black men go to white woman because they can get a way with a lot more bullsh*t AND free rides with white woman. I really could care less though. To each his and her own. In the end we're all humans and we're all in this together.

Answer 4

im a white woman and i have a lot of friends that are couples for a long time in this exact situation i dont think its a matter of black and white just a personality thing, as for black men being successful with white women on their arm
its just that unfortunately that many white woman are either successful with high education or rich, its a shame because im pretty successful and i find that are more white women in higher fields than black woman i think that is an issue because evryone should have fair chance and i think because of this black men are around us more because black woman are never really given the chances that should be given no matter how hard they work...i respect everyone and i think that even though the world says its "colorblind" in specific fields its really not its a shame the world is like this

Answer 5

I can empathize with your frustration, but I feel as though it's coming from your belief that black men belong with black women, and white men belong with white women.

It's that very belief that perpetuates stereotypes and to a greater extent, racism. When people have a firm committment to their beliefs, then they are closed off to other possibilities. I've never seen black women as *itches - but I HAVE seen many black women as VERY strong and independent - and as you indicated, probably from hundreds of years of having to carry everyone else on their backs.

I guess what you tell your children about this is what's important. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my children that they couldn't date or marry whomever they wished. I don't want to be the kind of person that only believes that white people belong with white people - they tried that already and it didn't work out very well.

I hope you find some peace about who you are and what you believe.

Answer 6

some men do it because they think its a way to be looked at as being successful in life get a white woman and you must be a success top notch. i feel a black woman is only good enough starting out but when the money starts rolling in he has to drop off the black woman and trade her in for a newer white model. other men do it because they think white woman are easier to handle then a black woman that we as black women have to much drama or baggage and most of them just wants to take advantage of someone and they know we won't stand for that.

Answer 7

Consider these things before you're quick to judge the man for who he dates. I THINK that many successful Black women date white women because that's who they are surrounded with more (i.e. work, social functions, etc.). In many of today's corporate settings we do not see as many Black women as we do white women. I believe that you date or marry someone who is closer to your class and intellectual level. Also, depending on where they grow up that might be all they know. You can't control who you love!

Answer 8

i dont think black men should be that way. im a white woman and i dont think white women are any better than black women, we are all created equal. you just have to be smart about the man you chose, you dont want to pick a loser and have babies with him. eventually the kids pay the price for your mistakes.

Answer 9

i think some white women like successful black men. some when they get famous or rich or whatever get thrown at by white chicks. i guess because they feel their class has changed, black women are too "ghetto" for them, and they feel they have to move on up. maybe white chicks are gold diggers just as much as dave Chapelle says black women are. all women are gold diggers, and black men arent used to the white chicks, so of course they go for it, have one good experience as opposed to the bad one he had with his black chick when he was broke, and think they are the best thing since sliced bread. then it doesnt stop until he is dogged out by one. then maybe he moves on to another race, but never nback to black women. I SAY SCREW EM. THEY ARE PLENTY OF OTHER RACES THAT FIND BLACK WOMEN BEAUTIFUL, BUT ASSUME THEY ARE LOUD AND UNAPPROACHABLE BECAUSE OF THEIR STRONG DEMEANOR. its not just black men that can handle black women, most cant even compete. did you know that more black women are graduating college than white men and black women? and the black women end up not being open to dating out of their race, so they may end up with a guy who doenst compete and they end up divorced, or damn near broke... ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY. PEOPLE AWLAYS SAY DONT DATE BLACK WOMEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE ATTIUDES, BUT THAT IS NOT A BAD TRAIT. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING STRONG. IF MEN ARE TOO INTIMIDATED BY THAT, THEN THEIR LOSS. ANY MAN WHO GETS TO KNOW MANY BLACK WOMEN WILL FIND THEM JUST AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER RACE OF WOMEN. NO WOMAN IS BETTER, EACH HAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO OFFER, AND I BELIEVE ITS ABOUT CONTROL. IVE HEARD BLACK MEN SAY , WELL BLACK WOMEN ARE TOO DOMINIERING, AND TOO MUCH DRAMA, THATS WHY I DATE WHITES. WELL I'VE HEARD WHITE MEN SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT WHITE WOMEN. THEIR TOO MEAN. IVE HEARD THE SAME THING FROM INDIAN MEN. INDIAN WOMEN EXPECT TOO MUCH. SO THERE YOU GO. DATE OUT OF YOUR RACE, AND BE THE EXCEPTION!

Answer 10

Attitudes like this are why racism is still alive and well. I'll date whoever I want, regardless of what color they are. The PERSON on the inside is who I care about, not their color, race, culture, background, etc. I've even dated Christians...LOL Stop looking at people as black or white...do your part to stop racism.