how do you leave ?

Question

after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids my husband has recently become abusive. I have not worked in years (been home w/ kids),I don't even have a drivers license or car and no money . I don't know where or how to start. I have become completely dependent on him, think thats why he thinks he can get away w/ what he does. Only serious answers, please.

Answer 1

I know that a few of these girls are trying to help but what ever you do DON'T STAY ANOTHER MOMENT LONGER! Listen to the other girls and GET OUT NOW! Call the police department! THe men and women there, are trained in all forms of domestic abuse and can get you away safely. When your in a safe house you will be given all kinds of information that can help you get started on your NEW life with or without the abuser. TAKE THE KIDS WITH YOU! LEAVE RIGHT THIS MINUTE! If you don't want to wait for them to come get you or your husband is on the way home tell them you are afraid and will be at the neighbors house, if you can trust them, and GET OUT! Take it from me, men who hit their wives, don't stop unless they get help! ANd, at time, that doesn't even help. YOU ARE STRONG! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU HAVE MILLIONS OF SUPPORTERS OUT HERE! Woman and men, like me, who have been there and know just how hard it can be! Not just the abuse but also the leaving part! Your children need you! Take them and call the police and get out! If your husband gets help and can prove that he has changed you can change things later. DON"T WAIT! PLEASE! I left my childrens father after 5 years of a wonderful marriage GONE BAD! The good, in the case of abuse, can not out weigh, the bad. ABUSE DOES NOT STOP WITHOUT INTERVENTION! You have the strength to save yourself and your children! It will be difficult at first, (lots of life changing plans and events), but, YOU CAN DO IT! If I can do it, you can do it too! GREAT LUCK AND BE STRONG!

Answer 2

If he has become abussive, you need to leave asap, no telling how abusive he can get or what could happen to you and/or the children. call the police, file a report, they may be able to give you numbers to get help for yourself and the children. It's not a good idea to have your children around abuse, even if it is just yelling, my guess is that it may be worse than that for you, but you need to do something, at this moment...not weeks or months from now. Be strong about everything. Look up domestic abuse helplines on google, you should get some sites that can help you. I would tell family members and very trustworthy friends, see if there is anyway they can help you for a little while you "get on your feet". I moved a friend and her 8 yr old daughter to my state 2,000 miles away to get her out of things that were going on. I am sure there is someone that would do the same for you. Good luck and hope everything turns out ok for you and the children.

Answer 3

You are to dependent on him, if you happen to get divorced (jus example) you would have nothing at all no money, car, job, almost nothing you wouldnt even be able to take care of your children or survive. Right now while you still have him, you have to take the chance to be more dependent, try making your own money, get a simple job first, then you knoe you can make your own money, and later on try getting a car lisence and be more independent. Im sure he will stop being so abusive and you will not need him that much.

Answer 4

OK first of all you have to contact a Safe Home in your area, If you don't have a Safe Home, contact family services, look in the front of your phone book (mine is for KS and MO only it should have a number for a crisis hot line. OR you can contact law enforcement, they will actually take you to the safe home in your area it may not be called safe home there. They will help you get a job, housing therapy. and yes your kids can stay there too. Please get out. I too was married for well 8 years, to an abusive man I too had 3 kids. I did have my license but no car no job. Please call today. You must do something to help yourself and your kids.
You have to leave, my friends sister was murdered in front of her daughter by her abusive husband.

Answer 5

Most of the time you can find a shelther or soemthing close to you where you can take your children and yourself, it sucks for awhile, but eventually it works. Don't go back to him, no matter what he says. if you're serious about leaving, I would check online or in the yellow pages in your phone book for support groups or places to go. I am not quite sure what they are called, but i know that they always are willing to help people. Since I dont know where you're from, I can't really help you more than telling you that you desevre better than how he is treating you-and obviously you want help, which is the first step to getting out that kind of a relationship. Good luck. If i can be of any assistance, feel free to email me, [e-mail]

Answer 6

So sorry. My husband became physically abusive to me also after 11yrs of marriage. I had to finally call police and then file a retraining order. Got a lawyer & got financial support. There should also be a phone # in your phone book for battered women. They helped guide me through the scary decision that saved my life I'm sure. With me, it started slowly and only got worse. Don't wait around for the broken bones. Good luck

Answer 7

Call your local State Attorney's office or Sheriff's office (as they can give you shelter information and you won't have to file a complaint if you don't want to). From what I understand the shelters will get you counseling and help getting back in the workforce - maybe you could even go to school!!! There are resources out there and with 3 kids, you'll be a priority. Get out of there and get your life back with your kids. You need to make yourself proud of YOU.

Answer 8

run, don't walk, to your nearest women's shelter. bring your children with you if they are still at home otherwise it will be a HUGE battle to get them back.

once at the shelter they will provide you with all sorts of amazing resources ... counseling to regain your self-worth, a safe and affordable home for you and your children, a job, legal advice etc etc.

i know that it seems like an impossible task, i really do, but trust me, you are worth more to your children mentally healthy than you are as an abused housewife. your children may have a hard time adjusting at first, but once they see that you are happier they will be thankful that you left too

you are worth too much to continue on in the life that you are leading! take a big deep breath and believe that you are capable of (and deserve) much better than the life that your husband is giving you

you can do it, i have faith in you

Answer 9

Batterd women shelters all over the USA that will help train youfor a job and find you a home or check the internet for abused women. Have him arrested if you have to to give your self time to leave if he wont let you leave, but P.L.E.A.S.E leave before it gets worst and take the children with you because if he is violent toward you when you leave he may get mad enough to take it out on the children, but just do something to save you and your children before we all hear about you and your children on the evening news.

Answer 10

if you have family close by get there, get on a bus, steal money from him if you have to anything just get away from him, if not look in the phone book for a woman's shelter they are everywhere and go there they will help you get your life back together and the kids can go there to. it is safe and he won't know where you are, just leave before he hurts you or even the children.